Household chores is our split fair?

[Giraffapuses]

Me and DH split the household chores as below
Is this fair.

Person A:

• All house and pet admin/ mental load (e.g. paying bills, doctor's/dentists appointments for both)
• Online shop
• Feeding pets

Person B

• fornightly house clean (3 hour job). Cleaner does twice a wek
• walking dog twice daily
• bins
• litter tray
• most laundry
• cutting grass (2x month)

Shared

• All meals cooked as team
• ad hoc weekly cleanIng
• putting washing away/ironing

No child care

Unless there is a lot of household admin, I would say Person B is doing significantly more. Whether it is fair or not I couldn't say though without knowing the wider context.

Is there a difference in working hours? Is the ad hoc weekly cleaning done more by person A than person B?

It doesn’t strike me as unfair. If the shared jobs are split equally then Person B appears to do more. But it’s unusual for the split to be exactly even. If both parties are happy then this would work well.

No difference in working hours. We both do the same job! But person A has a bad commute 2 days per week. Person B is 100% remote.

Person B seems to be doing a lot more.

No it’s not fair. Person B doing more.

With same working hours, yes this is unfair Person B is doing a lot more

B is doing a lot more. Given that A presumably works from home three days a week it does seem unfair.

Person A seems to have mainly administrative tasks while B has manual labour

Couple of corrections: fat fingers.

1. Person A does most laundry not person B
2. Cleaner is twice a month not twice a week!

Should I LTB. You decide.

Even with the correction person B is doing a lot more. I don't get this 'mental load' thing. All my bills come out via direct debit. There is no admin involved. Doctor and dentist appointments are once in a blue moon.

I can't get passed the team cooking. I'm imaging the Morcambe and Wise breakfast sketch.

Do you have equal leisure time?

This seems like a fair split to me if part of Person A’s job with bills and admin includes budgeting and keeping general track of finances, insurance, etc, and if Person B works from home and has time throughout the day to take care of quick chores like the litter tray.

It includes all the budgeting and insurances and all that crap. Person B barely understands our fiances (by choice).

@frazzlerazzle we team cook like champions. If by champions you mean working together to ruin a meal. The other day, we got mash potatoes wrong. How.

@RandomMess good question not sure. But I think that might be the actual answer. Smart thinking. A mumsnet thread which has found a reasonable conclusion to a dilemma.

still going to leave him obviously. It's the mimsnet way. Seven years of haply marriage or not. Sometimes he won't take the dog. LTB.

I'd say its relatively fair although B does slightly more. I guess it depends if your happy with it. Are you B?