How do I stop being such a miserable cow?

[ChronicallyUnhappy]

Just that, really. I find myself chronically unhappy. Here’s an example:

Went on a road trip today to a tourist-y destination just to have a nice day out, and visit a historical place. The weather was nice, the drive was smooth, and the boat trip was lovely. The place itself was very old and interesting.

However, all I could think about was how I couldn’t catch my breath (asthma), how my heartbeat was fluttery (anemia) and how painful my legs were (general exertion - lots of walking). The gasps and awwws of tourists around me from other countries were annoying and (in my opinion) OTT. The historical information was interesting, but I would have been just as happy reading them online, and the views of the place were just that… views. I don’t see beauty, or meaning, in anything.

All the way home, while everyone else was discussing their favorite parts of the day, I could only think of the sunburn I’d gotten and how my head hurt from the sun.

I’m not sure why I get like this, but this happens every day. I just don’t enjoy anything. I keep most of it to myself, and let everyone else enjoy their lives without bringing them down. But all I ever want to do is sit down somewhere quiet and be left alone.

It’s because of this, I imagine, that I’m in my late 20s with no boyfriend to speak of, and no friends. Just family who I imagine are fed up of me.

How do I change who I am? How do I enjoy life and stop seeing the worst in everything?

I would imagine the anemia and asthma (if uncontrolled such it affects your ability to catch your breath) won't be helping you feel great! Are both of them treated/well managed?

Its very hard to focus on the positives when you're in pain or discomfort and anxious about your health. Living with the conditions you describe can take a toll on wellbeing and lead to depressed mood. In your shoes I'd focus my energy on self care and getting as well as you can. Make sure you're getting treatments for the treatable things, do all the self help recommended, diet, excercise, rest etc. Set yourself realistic leisure activities, so if your health isn't up to hills at the moment, opt for something more gentle. Do keep persevering with getting out and about though as change of scene, fresh air and excercise is definitely better than not, even if it doesn't feel like it.

I think you should just do stuff that you enjoy. I think people do things that they think they should enjoy rather than stuff they actually enjoy.