Would you be concerned about neurodivergence in 4 year old DD with this behaviour?

[BeeLievable]

The reason I ask is because she seems a lot "naughtier" than her peers despite strict parenting (I promise we are strict and do our very best with her, follow through with consequences and punishments etc.)

• Loves her friends but when with them often hits, slaps, says mean things to deliberately upset them. Also often waits until she thinks someone isn't looking before she does this

• Screams very loudly in adults or children's faces even when being told not to

She can't seem to modify her behaviour and gets distraught when consequences are enforced (eg going home from a play date) but continues to behave badly.

Seems less kind to other kids than her friends although can be sweet- do you think it sounds like more is going on?

When my son was diagnosed they look for challenges across

Communication and Play
Social interaction
Repetitive behaviours.

You need to tick quite a few of the boxes, not sure what you've listed is enough to go on. What do school think?

My 4 yr old is like this too. He’s my third and the older two were so different and much easier/more fun to parent. He is hard work all the time and I dread taking him anywhere these days. He will hit his friends and siblings, attack me (he draws blood scratching, pinching and biting me). He shouts and screams and is generally not a very nice child to be around. He has had 1 party invite all year from a class of 30 so I’m imagining the children do not want him there which makes me a bit sad but I don’t blame the parents for excluding him tbh. We also follow through with every single consequence and often end up leaving our days out (and the older two therefore having fun cut short) because he has kicked off. It’s very difficult and I’m not sure what to suggest!

is she at school or nursery? My first call would be to discuss your concerns with them. Apparently my son is fine at school so for us I think it’s just his emotional immaturity and a power struggle with 2 older siblings. I’m trying to over exaggerate the positive praise but it’s not working just yet…!

There would need to be a lot more for me to be considering ND.