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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about the piano noise

102 replies

Noisedrivingmemad · 29/07/2023 12:49

We have recently moved into a semi detached house. On our attached side are a couple aged about 60, and a couple of lodgers.
They are friendly people, dropped a card in when we moved, the woman has spoken to my DH a fair bit over the fence about gardening, not intrusive ,very nice, all good.
HOWEVER, she is a piano and violin teacher.
3 week days (mostly after school) she is teaching piano and violin and it is like. She. Is. In. The. Room.

I can just about handle the lessons, although the violin is pretty awful. My kids are fairly noisy after school so I kind of see it as fair game, and accept that being in a semi-detached house means we need to accept some noise. I just tolerate it, even though every dinner time it feels like we are accompanied by the god awful piano playing.
But even at the weekend she is playing (not teaching). She has been playing for the last 2 hours, I could kill her. I literally want to rip that piano out the wall. My kids were watching a film and I turned it up as loud as possible out of pure rage, but in the kitchen I can still hear it, tinkle tinkle fucking tinkle, the tunes go round and round in my head.
I think I might crack and throw myself off my own balcony. Sometimes I go to sleep dreaming of taking a big machete to her musical instruments or chopping her fingers off with my bread knife.

So what would you do? Should I say something?? Do I just live with it? Is it anti-social?

Help.

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 29/07/2023 12:53

I don’t think playing a piano on a Saturday lunch time is anti social. I appreciate it’s annoying but like you’ve said you are also being loud so it’s probably fair game. It’s just part of living in a semi detached house.

5childrenand · 29/07/2023 12:53

Well you could ask her if she would mind moving the piano to a different wall so it’s not on an adjoining one. But realistically you need to think about what you want to achieve - she’s not going to stop her livelihood so the piano playing is going to continue. And you don’t want to risk alienating a neighbour who sounds decent - is all the playing within sociable hours ie not late at night etc?

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 29/07/2023 12:59

But she’s not doing anything wrong. She’s playing her piano in her own house at civilised times of the day.

She might feel the same way about your kids.

Wolfiefan · 29/07/2023 13:01

You have my sympathy. We lived in a terrace. A piano teacher moved in next door and put the piano up against our joint wall. She may have well have put it in our house. Refused to move it.
Thankfully we were renting and moved soon after.

DinnaeFashYersel · 29/07/2023 13:18

It's normal daytime noise. It's her job. Its obviously something she enjoys for leisure too. She's not doing this at anti social times of day.

They've lived there longer. If you don't like it you should look into soundproofing your walls.

Original poster
Noisedrivingmemad · 29/07/2023 13:28

5childrenand · 29/07/2023 12:53

Well you could ask her if she would mind moving the piano to a different wall so it’s not on an adjoining one. But realistically you need to think about what you want to achieve - she’s not going to stop her livelihood so the piano playing is going to continue. And you don’t want to risk alienating a neighbour who sounds decent - is all the playing within sociable hours ie not late at night etc?

Yes this is my concern. I obviously wouldn't expect her to stop her livelihood, and I really don't want to alienate a neighbour.
As I said, she is really nice as is her husband and we get on well with all our neighbors and feel very lucky in that respect.
I would love it if she moved the piano to a different wall, but I'm not sure it's a good idea to ask as she will then know we aren't happy. I'm just really torn.
She did actually mention to my husband when we moved in that she hoped the piano wouldn't bother us too much and that it's only 3 days a week.
It's a lot more than that though when you factor in her own practicing which is actually far more annoying. The teaching is stop/start and feels like it goes on for less time.

It is never anti-social times, except it's often when I'm trying to put the baby to bed which is disruptive but that's only at 7pm so I couldn't call that anti social. It is so loud the piano might as well be in the room. I'm not a noise sensitive person, I've lived in a flat for 10 years with no noise issues previously. This has come as a big shock to me!

OP posts:
Extfirth · 29/07/2023 13:33

Pianos are loud, I get that. But, she's not doing anything wrong.

Time was when most people had pianos in their homes. I wonder if there was less bad feeling about them when everyone was making as much noise with them all.

skyeisthelimit · 29/07/2023 13:36

I feel your pain, I lived next door to somebody who played the flute and the saxophone and while the playing was very good, it was so loud that he could have been sat in my living room. The people who bought the house before him had opened it up so that the stairs were in the living room, so they took away the noise barrier.

We moved to a detached property as I couldn't stand the noise of having neighbours. (The one the other side played heavy metal to go to sleep in the early evenings as he worked shifts).

Your best bet is to ask if she can move the piano to the other wall.

KimberleyClark · 29/07/2023 13:37

You could ask her if she doesn’t mind keeping the mute pedal down, which will significantly reduce the volume.

MixedBlessings · 29/07/2023 13:38

I sympathise. I think you should ask her to move her piano if it's against the joint wall. We lived in a terrace years ago - on one side the owners had a juke box against the shared wall, on the other side the son played bagpipes in a pipe band and practised most days (tea time news on tv was generally accompanied by stirring pipe music!). We liked both sides but we did speak to both of them about the noise issue. Juke box got moved to a different room and the bagpipe practise was restricted to certain times. Could still hear it but nowhere near as bad. Ultimately you could look into having accousic boards fitted to your walls.

Merryoldgoat · 29/07/2023 13:43

I purposely have my piano away from our shared wall and if I hadn’t and was asked to I would absolutely try to do so. Just ask.

PassTheSnacks · 29/07/2023 13:45

KimberleyClark · 29/07/2023 13:37

You could ask her if she doesn’t mind keeping the mute pedal down, which will significantly reduce the volume.

🤣🤣🤣

Some of these replies are nuts.

PassTheSnacks · 29/07/2023 13:47

It's her job and her interest clearly. Obviously she will also play herself outside of lesson times. Hardly antisocial to have to listen to a (presumably) accomplished pianist.

If you cannot stand any noise at all from neighbours even musical instruments at reasonable times of day then you need to move to a detached house, or one with better sound insultation.

Highly hypocritical from someone with children living in a semi: presumably she can hear you, too, but you still thought it was ok to move there knowing your neighbours would have to tolerate noise!

KimberleyClark · 29/07/2023 13:48

PassTheSnacks · 29/07/2023 13:45

🤣🤣🤣

Some of these replies are nuts.

Show quote history

Why is my reply nuts? Most upright pianos have three pedals, loud, soft and mute. The mute can be kept permanently down.

GladAllOver · 29/07/2023 13:53

You don't know much about the piano do you?

KimberleyClark · 29/07/2023 13:55

GladAllOver · 29/07/2023 13:53

You don't know much about the piano do you?

I think I know a fair bit considering DH is a pianist.And the mute pedal will help a bit.

HarrietJet · 29/07/2023 13:56

I'll bet the piano sounds are far more palatable than your "fairly noisy" children sounds. The irony; moaning about someone playing piano when your children make all the noise they please!
Maybe she's trying to drown them out...

missingeu · 29/07/2023 14:01

You have my sympathy, our neighbour is music teacher and was recently teaching and I think his son was recently learning the guitar.. and would play the same cords to the song Creep and get it wrong everytime! Thankfully he stopped.

PassTheSnacks · 29/07/2023 14:02

Why is my reply nuts? Most upright pianos have three pedals, loud, soft and mute. The mute can be kept permanently down.

Yes, I'm aware.

And this would involve not playing the music properly. It's not a reasonable request.

Perhaps ask her to get the pupils to do their violin lessons with only plucking also, not use their bows, to make it quieter? 🤣

CatchMeQuick · 29/07/2023 14:04

We have a neighbour who plays the drums. It's so loud, it is like he's in our house.

We got a soundproofing guy over - basically said nothing we can do that doesn't cost £££

CatchMeQuick · 29/07/2023 14:05

Ps you have my sympathy. It's made us want to move! If it wasn't for house prices dropping, I think we would have done!

LlynTegid · 29/07/2023 14:09

Given it is acknowledged that it could be an issue, I think a conversation about a different wall is reasonable to have.

WhateverMate · 29/07/2023 14:11

Extfirth · 29/07/2023 13:33

Pianos are loud, I get that. But, she's not doing anything wrong.

Time was when most people had pianos in their homes. I wonder if there was less bad feeling about them when everyone was making as much noise with them all.

Time was when most people had pianos in their homes. I wonder if there was less bad feeling about them when everyone was making as much noise with them all.

I really don't think this is true, particularly for the working class?

Most libraries and pubs had pianos, so those who couldn't afford them/didn't have room had access.

Fraaahnces · 29/07/2023 14:11

I would ask if were possible to relocate the piano to an interior wall. It’s better for the piano. Otherwise, perhaps you could get a gaming centre and put it up against the wall and play Call of Duty really loudly.

Violinist64 · 29/07/2023 14:20

I have taught piano and violin all my career. Our first house was a semi but we put the piano on the opposite wall to our neighbours. When we moved we had a detached house and the garage had already been converted to make an extra room so was perfect for my music room. It is a difficult one but perhaps she could compromise by a) moving the piano to the opposite wall and b) using the practise pedal, if she has one, when doing her own practise. I think you need to be very diplomatic in your approach if you say anything, though.

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