Double Birthday Money

[Polly345]

On checking my bank I realised that the birthday money I had transferred to my nephew had gone through twice.
He lives in another city so I don't see much of him. It's beside the point but there was no thank you but my point is there was no mention of the double entry.
Should I mention it to him or just let it go?

If he’s a decent human being he will mention it when he notices. How long ago was it? Do you know if he checks his accounts regularly? I would give a couple of weeks from transfer….

You can ask your bank to do a charge back. Like you I sent Nephew birthday money, it’s gone through, it was actually a cheque, no thanks received 4 days ago now, but to be fair my sons don’t thank people unless they see them.

Are you sure it’s not just pending? I’ve had so many customers call up to shout at me that they’ve been double charged and it’s ALWAYS because the transaction is showing as pending AND completed for a day or two.

How rude. I hope those people don't send anything the next bday/Christmas etc.

Was your nephew aware that you'd transferred him some money?

I don't go through my bank statements with a fine tooth comb as long as the sums roughly add up at the beginning/end of the month. I probably wouldn't notice if someone had transferred money to me (unless I'd been told to look out for it in, say, a birthday card or a call/text), so I wouldn't be thanking someone because I simply wouldn't know there was cause to do so! Similarly, if a trusted person who already has my bank details (AKA successfully transferred before) told me they'd be transferring money to me, I'd probably be casual about getting round to checking it (although I'd say thank you) and therefore wouldn't notice that the payment was wrong until later than ideal!

He probably hasn't even noticed. Does he know you transferred him money?

Payments don't may go through twice, there must have been an error in your part.

He did know I was going to transfer money to him and I accept it could have been my mistake. He doesn't usually say thank you for gifts so I'm not surprised.
The question is should I let him know what has happened.
I am concerned that I transferred the same to his brother and now he has ended up with double. I wouldnt like them to think it was deliberate.

I'd say it's pretty easy not to notice if he has a lot of transactions.

Either mention it to him, and ask if he can send it back, or write it off, and if anything's said blame memory! I very much doubt his brother, unless there's a history of favouritism/rivals will think it's anything but a mistake.

One of mine once received birthday money three times from MIL, it was Amazon vouchers by post, so very clear. Unfortunately this was one of the early signs of Alzheimer's for her, although we didn't know. We quietly mentioned it and she suggested we used the extra two presents to get something joint between all the dc, however the other dc weren't upset even before that because they knew it was an accident.

On the other side I once received a birthday cheque from Dh's grandmother for 3 times what she normally sent. I assumed it was a mistake, so he quietly had a word with her, and she said that she'd decided I deserved it. She continued sending 3x the amount until she died to me but not to Dh (and I don't think to any of his siblings/spouses either). I used to tease dh it was her thinking I deserved it for putting up with him, but we both knew it was because I was at home with the dc at that point and she had said several times that I needed to make sure I got treats as well as the dc. They were her only great-grandchildren and she was thrilled to spend time with them. She was a lovely lady and loved to treat people.

Why do you send presents to someone that doesn't thank you for them

I mean, that's not why we send presents, buts it's downright rude not to even send a thank you text.