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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be struggling to cope

9 replies

struggling1983 · 28/07/2023 22:54

Full time demanding job, 2 DD (6&8), husband self employed in the middle of a diagnosis as his heart seems to be playing up (in and out of hospital) started in the middle of a new income protection application, I have pressure in my eyes from the puff test at the opticians so have to go back for another test, have to do everything because all husband can do is rest, do his accounts, got a parking fine today because NCP for some reason hasn't billed me for my season ticket like they normally do , found out that a phone i returned to the shop as I found a better deal hasn't been recorded and they are chasing me for the money and now they are saying they cant find the phone, two dogs driving me crazy- once of them has a collapsed larynx so drives me mad with his breathing noise and today the other one chewed my shoes, summer holidays- asked DH to sort a week of childcare but he 'forgot', DD starting a new school in September, probably cant go on holiday because of husbands condition, DD constantly fighting each other and wont leave me alone or go to bed when asked.

I feel like crying. Today I exploded at my DD6 as despite me taking her for a knickerbocker glory after holiday camp as a treat as they moan about holiday camp all the time (she ran off in the car park beforehand and then said she 'didnt want to listen' when i told her off), I found them both stealing chocolate out of the garage (which i had removed from the kitchen because they did it before) whilst i was making their dinner, DD6 refused to spit it out or say sorry. My mother in law says they need counselling as they have alot on their minds. I just cant cope with their behaviour on top of everything and its like they play up to make things worse. Nothing is ever enjoyable with them its just stress as something will be wrong such as their finger will hurt or their eye will feel funny either that or they are fighting. I feel like the worst mother ever constantly.

I don't have any support really. I burst into tears on my DM and she said 'its so hard for me to see you like this'. She took the girls for a day and then returned them 2 hours early and said I wasnt grateful enough (i had to rush back from the supermarket to come and get them from her).

Any advice from anyone please? or reassurance? If not, just thank you for letting me rant.

OP posts:

Original poster

struggling1983 · 28/07/2023 22:57

Maybe I just need to go off sick from work for a bit and give the kids some attention.

OP posts:

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 28/07/2023 23:06

This is a really bad week!! Hang in there and try and go very easy on yourself this weekend - permission to over use screen time if needed :/)

Whyohwhyohwhy123 · 28/07/2023 23:10

It’s clearly been a very bad week and some children (I’ve got one) pick up on it when you’re stressed and the behaviour gets worse which makes it all worse.
if you think a couple of weeks off sick would help you sort out some of the issues then I’d do it.

KnickerlessParsons · 28/07/2023 23:25

struggling1983 · 28/07/2023 22:57

Maybe I just need to go off sick from work for a bit and give the kids some attention.

You could probably get signed off by your GP in those circs.

Original poster

struggling1983 · 28/07/2023 23:29

I am public sector so do have a good sick pay package which i have never used. I enjoy working though.

OP posts:

Hankunamatata · 28/07/2023 23:34

You have had a truly crap week op. Dh needs to rest but he can still parent, help get girls to bed and do bedtime. Could he do his own accounts as he is resting?

Original poster

struggling1983 · 28/07/2023 23:38

DDs make him too stressed and give him heart palpitations, they know this but continue to behave badly.
I tried to get him to do his own accounts but then he gave up because he couldn't open the app. I might as well do it myself. He's one of those 'consciously incompetent' people when it comes to anything financial or anything he doesnt want to do.

OP posts:

Original poster

struggling1983 · 28/07/2023 23:42

Now I have the worst IBS.

OP posts:

MintyCedric · 28/07/2023 23:59

Do you have any time scheduled off over the summer holidays?

If you can get the kids in childcare for a few days, spend one getting all the shitty life admin out of the way…your eye appt, the parking fine, phone, accounts etc.

Then have a day to yourself, doing whatever makes you happy.

Then spend some time with the kids!

It’s probably true that they are picking up in your stresses but that can only be helped so much.

If you can’t get away, have a staycation.

Get some really nice ready meals/easy to cook dinners in, cold picky bits and salad for lunches that the kids can help themselves to (sod it, get paper plates as well to save the clearing up).

Get out for days if you can, get a months subscription to Disney channel and have some movie nights.

Keep breathing…this too shall pass, and best of luck to you and your DH with your health issues.

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