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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be shocked at 5 yr old not wearing seatbelt!

25 replies

ssummers · 26/02/2008 20:04

I got a lift home from my friend and her dh today. I know the dh 'doesnt believe' in seatblets. He is always going on about how they can cause more injury in an accident (whatever).

Anyhow - their 5 year old ds sat in the front passenger seat - with booster - and no seat belt. I find this quite shocking and may have a quiet word with my friend.

Am I being OTT?

OP posts:

RedJools · 26/02/2008 20:05

Nooo!! . I get enraged when I see kids not strapped in!

Hulababy · 26/02/2008 20:05

I would have to say something to the friend. TBH I would have said something to the DH about why the child didn't have a belt on.

What he is doing is illegal...he could be reported for doing it. Never mind the fact that his child could be killed.

Rachmumoftwo · 26/02/2008 20:07

Not at all. It is airbags, not seatbelts, that can be nore dangerous for children in an accident than not having them. It is because of the force when they come out.
What he is doing is dangerous and illegal, and if it were my child, I would want to know.

LaDiDaDi · 26/02/2008 20:07

I get sooo annoyed by this too .

I would definitely tell your friend although be prepared that she may already know.

fryalot · 26/02/2008 20:08

There are rare (very, very, very rare) occasions when someone's life has been saved due to the fact that they were not wearing a seatbelt. However there are many (many, many, many) more lives that have been lost due to not wearing one.

He needs to check his research more thoroughly before making these kinds of decisions on behalf of someone else.

SugarSkyHigh · 26/02/2008 20:09

how ignorant of the dh to 'not believe' in seat belts! I am gobsmacked

Kindersurpise · 26/02/2008 20:09

I once stopped the car and refused to drive on when I was out with SIL and her son did not want to wear his seatbelt. She kept saying, it is not far, he will be ok.

I cannot believe that anyone could risk the life of their child. Ridiculous.

Do you think it would make much difference if you talked to your friend? Was her DH with you?

Kindersurpise · 26/02/2008 20:10

Oh, sorry, just reread your OP, he was in the car.

Does she strap him in when her DH is not with them?

dizzydixies · 26/02/2008 20:11

no he's an idiot, phone crimestoppers and get him stopped for the sake of his child
if she was in the car too then she is obviously aware and not bothered, I wouldn't be letting my dh take the car anywhere with kids not strapped in

crimestoppers or your local police is anon - you'll need his name/veh reg and address
when he's caught he will be charged with culpable and wreckless conduct at worst and failure to secure a child with seatbelt

cannot stress the severity of this man's stupidity enough

pedilia · 26/02/2008 20:15

what a twat!!
XP accused me of over reacting when I refused to let DS1 travel in his car as the middle back seat belt was broekn and DS always had to sit there, his new family all had proper seatbelts

girlfrommars · 26/02/2008 20:18

Seriously

My dad survived fine without a seatbelt(late 60s).

The broken legs healed, and though he was thrown into the path of oncoming traffic wearing a dark coat on an unlit street at night, no one ran him over.

He does still have windscreen glass in his head though....

MicrowaveOnly · 26/02/2008 20:29

dizzy, I think it would be more helpful if OP just 'had a word ' herself as she suggested. They are her friends - No friendship would survive going to the police...and we all have different views on life and risks..get off the high horse!

dizzydixies · 26/02/2008 20:35

microwave having worked with traffic officers and seen the result of IDIOTS that do not wear seatbelts I think I am in a well educated place to give my opinion

she has asked for advice, whether or not she takes mine is entirely up to her, I won't be offended either way but I am not going to not give my opinion on this subject through fear of someone thinking I am on my high horse - there are some things worth being so passionate about

her friends need never know it was her- as I mentioned and she will never need to live with consquence of wishing she had done something to stop it

but thanks for your advice, I choose to remain in my saddle for the meantime

winestein · 26/02/2008 20:50

SSummers - that is so sad. A mere 20mph shunt and your friend will probably see her childs head going through the windscreen. She can't realise what she is doing. I would suggest you phone your local Road Safety Education department at the council and ask if they have any suitable leaflets you could pass on to your friend. She obviously knows she is breaking the law - just has no comprehension of the devastating consequences.

Seat belts are a proven way of reducing the severity of injuries. Since seat belt wearing was made compulsory in 1983 it has reduced casualties by at least 370 deaths and 7000 serious injuries per year for front seat belts and 70 deaths and 1000 serious injuries for rear seat belts.

She needs a kick up the backside tbh! (not literally!)

Original poster

ssummers · 26/02/2008 21:11

So glad that you guys posted. It is a really odd situation. The ds is very dominant and opinionated and To be honest quite ignorant. My friend is really lovely and sweet - but seems to hang on every word he says.

problem is that he is quite an eratic driver (so much so that I will decline a lift in future!). I really think that should he have to stop suddenly then his ds would go flying - luckily (if there is a luckily) their ds is stocky - but even so he is still 5. Like some of you have said being an adult and not wearing a belt is dangerous - let alone a 5 year old.

I will approach my friend and have a word I think - it is going to be awkward - but I couldnt live with myself if something happened. It is so strange that I even question this - because I knew it was wrong! But to be honest he is so cocky (cant think of a better word!) that it seems normal! Then I end up second guessing myself.
He is always preaching somthing and usually it is controversial.

Kindersurprise (love your name!) She doesnt drive - so not sure.

Thanks for the advice/opinions.

OP posts:

HonoriaGlossop · 26/02/2008 22:11

along the same lines as girlfrommars, tell your friend that her ds will be fine in the crash, my grandad was just extremely UNLUCKY that he was worse injured in a car crash than he was during the whole second world war!

ssummers do you think a word will have any effect? Might almost be worth shopping this man to crimestoppers in the hope that something more formal might bring him to his senses.

fishie · 26/02/2008 22:18

dizzydixies will crimestoppers / police really do anything though? find it hard to believe they will stake out the school run.

most people in my area don't wear seatbelts, let alone have booster seats. or probably insurance, tax or even licences.

dizzydixies · 26/02/2008 22:24

fishie its a really serious matter ESP when a child involved - he might as well be driving drunk as he is in charge of that minor and whomever he may hit and launch his child through the windscreen at

sorry to be so blunt and soapboxy but through my work have seen it all and still can't believe it goes on

MsPontipine · 28/02/2008 11:55

hanaflower · 28/02/2008 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kimi · 28/02/2008 12:03

it is against the law not to ware a seatbelt.
If he is stopped he will be fined. I'm with dizzydixies on this. Report him.

DiscoDizzy · 28/02/2008 12:04

Drives me barmy, I see loads of parents driving away from school with the kids not strapped in . I may try the crimestoppes route next time.

smartiejake · 28/02/2008 12:07

Why on earth does he bother with a booster seat if he's not putting a seat belt on the child?

How can anyone with even half a brain cell think that a child being catapulted through a windscreen is less risky than a bruise from a sweat belt? BARKING

smartiejake · 28/02/2008 12:07

seat belt

winestein · 28/02/2008 13:06

not sure if that comes under the remit of Crimestoppers Dizzy.

I never thought of that one Smartie, but now you mention it why on earth do they bother with a booster seat being as the point of booster seats is to ensure the seatbelt is across a childs body at the correct place. BARKING is the word! ROFL

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