MN has got me through so much in my life... now this

[BluejustBlue]

I actually can't believe I'm once again turning to MN for support as I really believe I had my life sorted... and now this 😣

MN was there for my early marriage, my dilemma over should I TTC, having a CS, not being able to breastfeed, drama with in laws, both children having severe SEN, having a baby loss, having multiple autoimmune disorders, debt, working and being a mum.. getting divorced 😢

Now after all that when I thought I was ok is the most painful 😖 I think because it has blindsided me, heart break 💔

I thought I had found my person, we said it, life for once made sense! For once I didn't have to explain and analyse every single thought it decision, he just understood me. And then he didn't and at 44, I don't believe I have ever felt so much pain. I'm wandering round my house thinking that this is finally the thing that will push me over the edge because finally I believed myself to be happy, at last.

I'm not looking to wallow, I just need someone's advice on getting over utter heartbreak 💔 at my age.

I don't have a wide friendship circle, the advice of one of my closest friends was just focus on the positives as she posts 61 pictures of the same extended family having a #amazing summer on SM.

I know I'll get over this, I'm listening to as much positivity as I can but let's say my vibrations are very, very low right now 😣

I don't have advice but I can offer a hand.

You don't have to look at the positives right away. You don't have to magically feel okay. Grieve. You are allowed. You will come through this, but it doesn't have to be today. Or tomorrow.

I'm so sorry you feel low.

Thank you for the reply.

I have never experienced heartbreak before, I got married very very young and was inexperienced in relationships with the confidence of youth. I'm struggling with the pain of this, 3 weeks in and it's not easing at all.

As pp said you need to grieve, it's ok to acknowledge the heartbreak and pain. It's exhausting after you've got through so much.
Give yourself a break and don't try too hard yet to "Be positive" you are grieving for a future you thought was going to happen.
It absolutely will get better and you know that, you just need to ride out this pain and a little bit of wallowing is fine and needed.
To quote a Chely Wright song "You'll only miss the man, that you wanted him to be"

It's absolutely fine for you to feel the feelings you do. Don't be scared of them. It's a process and you have just started it.

As a newly divorced woman your age, going forward I would stop pinning my hopes and dreams on a man. Invest in friendships instead. It sounds like that might have been a bit neglected in your life and that's why the blow now is so much more devestating. It's not too late though. When I divorced last year I moved countries and I am making new friends, picking up new hobbies. Life has honestly not been this good since I was last free in my early 20's. My friends more than fill the void of any man and I know that most of them will be there for the rest of my life.

The first breakup after a previous divorce/long relationship is an absolute horror - so many of us have been through it. Pain unlike any other. I'm sorry you're going through it but I promise it will ease. Take it day by day, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve as much as you need to.