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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Refused Sourz in Asda

142 replies

Quickandeasy · 27/07/2023 18:40

I don’t regard myself as an unintelligent person but am struggling to understand the logic. I was in Asda earlier with my son and his gf (both 18) and noticed the Sourz on offer so put it in my basket.

I was then told that I couldn’t buy this as I was with two people who may be underage. Gf had her ID but my son had left his at home so therefore couldn’t prove he was 18. I was told as we were all together the possibility is I would share it with minors.

Surely based on this logic if a family with children (of any age under 18) wanted to buy alcohol they would be refused as they are with children who they could share it with?

Does this actually happen to others, in which case are you supposed to leave your children outside the shop or get them to hide in an aisle if you want to buy alcohol?

OP posts:
Serena73 · 27/07/2023 19:31

I work in a shop implementing Think 25. This is not the correct procedure. The person serving you got it wrong, as it seems do many others. There is such a thing as a proxy sale, but that would only be if the assistant heard your son/girlfriend asking you to purchase it for them or seeing them give you money for it. Generally you should be able to purchase alcohol with your children of any age around you without having to show id.

decaffonlypls · 27/07/2023 19:31

Yes my dp was refused beer because he had our 14 year old dd with him. It's not illegal for a 14 year old to have beer in their own home

AvengedQuince · 27/07/2023 19:31

SeaSloth · 27/07/2023 19:26

I had the same thing happen in Waitrose (heaven forbid) with my then husband and five year old. Apparently the whisky (bought alongside a full weekly shop) may have apparently been for the five year old. I mean seriously! I asked to speak to a manager and he said the same.
My son is now 15 and I'm still incensed by it haha!

That's ridiculous, is there no lower limit like 12 to 'think 25', where it is unlikely to be for the child?

Exasperatednow · 27/07/2023 19:33

Apparently you're not allowed to drink alcohol if you have teenagers in your home...this has happened to us on more than one occasion.

And the government say the don't like a 'nanny state'.

BrownHairedGirlWithTheBrightestSmile · 27/07/2023 19:34

I’m just glad this isn’t another OP telling us they were refused because they look like a teen even though they’re 45. Although I’ve seen those posters have started to arrive. 😅

Putting the call out for all babyface mumsnetters. 🚨

AvengedQuince · 27/07/2023 19:35

I guess the alcohol in their own home thing is because that should be supervised and in sensible amounts, like a small glass of red with dinner, whilst a proxy sale is alcohol purchased especially for the child, they may take it to a party or a park.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/07/2023 19:40

It isn't a case of interfering in parental choices. The cashier has no idea if a 17/18 year old is your child or if you are someone who has agreed to purchase alcohol on behalf of someone potentially underage.

Chickychoccyegg · 27/07/2023 19:50

I was refused a bottle of prosecco recently because I had my 17year old dd with me 😂

TeleTropes · 27/07/2023 19:51

PlasticineKing · 27/07/2023 19:22

JFC. It’s called a proxy sale. The person on the checkout was absolutely right to refuse to serve you - you do realise that they get people coming in and checking on stuff like this and they could get fined (the person on the till and the shop)? If that was me on the till, there’s no way I’d be talked into serving it to you, for the risk of a fine that I would have to pay. It doesn’t help that it was sourz - maybe if it had been something else it wouldn’t have been picked up on. I get it’s annoying. But you have to see this from the POV of the person on the till. They get a shade over MW and it’s not worth the risk.

When you do the modules about it, it clearly talks to about it being different with younger children. But with young adults the challenge 25 stands.

I think most people get this, I think the point is having a teenager or child with you at the checkout does not indicate a greater likelihood the alcohol is for the minor. In fact, I bet in most cases it indicates that it’s less likely to be (as I reminisce about the teen days I spent outside the off licence offering cash to anyone who would buy us drinks and bring them out.)

FuckNuggets · 27/07/2023 19:52

Beneficialchampion2 · 27/07/2023 18:46

YABU

The shop is in their right to refuse service if they believe it is intended for someone under 18.

Why does your son not carry ID?

Maybe because he wasn't buying any alcohol?

gogomoto · 27/07/2023 19:53

@SabrinaThwaite can beat that, my uncle got refused beer at a baseball game, he was 76! Crazy laws though in New York I wasn't id'd once in pubs

WolfFoxHare · 27/07/2023 19:54

My mum in her 50s wasn’t permitted to buy a bottle of wine once when she was with me - I was over 25 at the time but had no ID with me. I think I was told that once they’ve asked for ID, they just can’t sell alcohol if you can’t show it, unfortunately.

DahliaMacNamara · 27/07/2023 19:59

Sometimes there's common sense, if oddly applied. My DS often helps me pack my heavier shopping, and is occasionally asked for ID, which he doesn't routinely carry. He's in his late 20s, and looks about that age. He points at me, I offer to produce ID, and they conclude it's fine after all, without waiting for me to prove that I'm an adult. Nobody thinks he might be 17 or less. I don't know why they ask.

whatausername · 27/07/2023 20:00

Totally understandable and is pretty common. Has been for yonks. The consequences of getting it wrong aren't worth it for the staff. Plus Sourz is a very "teenager" drink and there were two teenagers present.

GiraffeLaSophie · 27/07/2023 20:01

When you do the modules about it, it clearly talks to about it being different with younger children. But with young adults the challenge 25 stands.

Out of interest, does it mention a cut off point? I can remember my mum being (initially) refused a bottle of wine when I was with her. Her and the cashier went round in circles for a bit with the cashier saying she couldn’t serve my mum if I didn’t have any ID, and my mum saying that I didn’t HAVE any ID because I was only 14 but that she was my mum and it wasn’t being bought for me.

cyncope · 27/07/2023 20:01

If a middle aged woman and a couple of teenagers are shopping for Sourz, of course the cashier is going to assume it's for the kids Grin

PixiKitKat · 27/07/2023 20:02

My husband and I are both in our 30s but sometimes get ID'd in the supermarket. If one of us doesn't have our ID we split up and go to different tills 😂

JudgeJ · 27/07/2023 20:03

SabrinaThwaite · 27/07/2023 19:09

Could be worse. MIL got refused entry to a US pub because she didn’t have ID. Shame she didn’t have her over 60s bus pass with her 🤣

The first time we boomers were asked for ID to buy wine and beer in New Mexico we both laughed but were told It's no laughing matter M'am, it's the law!

AffIt · 27/07/2023 20:04

I used to work in the wine trade and one hand, yes, people are right - sellers have personal responsibility and if they are found to have sold alcohol or other limited products to under-agers, they are personally liable and can be subject to large fines.

However, I think this has gone utterly mental and as a result, shops are putting the fear of god into tellers to such an extent that they're now really annoying people and alienating customers.

I was ID'd recently (I'm 44 - I can pass for about, ooh, 35 on a really good day, in low light with the wind behind me) and as I didn't have ID on me - BECAUSE I'M 44 - I couldn't buy the (very expensive) bottle of wine I was trying to purchase.

I'm not a gambling woman, but I'd say there aren't many teen drinkers willing to sink £35 on a bottle of claret.

It is all getting a bit stupid.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 27/07/2023 20:05

I think what you're buying is a factor*. I bought several bottles of wine and Pimms recently with a 15 year old in tow (plus an 8 year old and a 5 year old) and no questions were asked at all.

*which is weird because I started drinking at 15 and have always loved wine, Pimms and gin & tonic.

greenteaandmarshmallows · 27/07/2023 20:06

DahliaMacNamara · 27/07/2023 19:59

Sometimes there's common sense, if oddly applied. My DS often helps me pack my heavier shopping, and is occasionally asked for ID, which he doesn't routinely carry. He's in his late 20s, and looks about that age. He points at me, I offer to produce ID, and they conclude it's fine after all, without waiting for me to prove that I'm an adult. Nobody thinks he might be 17 or less. I don't know why they ask.

They shouldn't do that. That is explicitly against the rules most shops follow. Once asked you can't change your mind.

spotnoodle · 27/07/2023 20:06

Pretty sure this isn't a thing in Ireland. I had my two kids (both under 10) with me when i bought €150 worth of booze in Tesco last week for my mums 70th.

Brefugee · 27/07/2023 20:06

Beneficialchampion2 · 27/07/2023 18:46

YABU

The shop is in their right to refuse service if they believe it is intended for someone under 18.

Why does your son not carry ID?

some of the rules in the UK are bonkers. The ones around alcohol being sold to actual adults and school uniforms are the most batshit.

If people should carry ID around - you all need to get on board with government issued ID cards.

AvengedQuince · 27/07/2023 20:08

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 27/07/2023 20:05

I think what you're buying is a factor*. I bought several bottles of wine and Pimms recently with a 15 year old in tow (plus an 8 year old and a 5 year old) and no questions were asked at all.

*which is weird because I started drinking at 15 and have always loved wine, Pimms and gin & tonic.

Ds likes proper dry cider, and red wine, but not fruity cider or alcopops or baileys.

TheSilentSister · 27/07/2023 20:11

It reminds me of the time I tried to purchase an instant win game card. My DS said, 'Mummy, get that one' (he liked the picture on it). The cashier then refused to sell it to me! I said ok then, I'll have a different one. She still refused.