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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be abit WTF about this?

31 replies

Wendarl · 27/07/2023 15:02

God I already know I will sound like a complete prude so this is abit embarrassing to ask..

But I spotted a book on my husband’s bedside table that he hadn’t mentioned. I asked when he got it and he said that a woman in his team had leant it to him.

I flicked through the book today, and it has a really explicit sex scene on the first page, and again a few pages later. I’ve just read a review - it’s well reviewed but not a well known book.

AIBU to think abit weird/ lacking boundaries/ quite intimate to recommend a book, let alone if it has really sexual content?

I should add, my husband is the CEO, this person is much more junior.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 27/07/2023 15:03

I WTF that you’re WTF
Is there a back story ? It wouldn’t cross my mind to bother with this

NuffSaidSam · 27/07/2023 15:04

He said she leant it to him. Not that she recommended it. Maybe he asked to borrow it? Maybe they were talking about certain types of books/authors they enjoy?

If she walked up to him and said 'hey boss, I think you should have a read of this sexy book' then YANBU.

Chances are it didn't quite go like that though.

Original poster
Wendarl · 27/07/2023 15:06

urgh, I know you’re right. I just think I’d be abit embarrassed to recommend something like that to a colleague .. just jealous of the freedom bot thought maybe

OP posts:
Wheretostartstitching · 27/07/2023 15:06

If he didn’t want the book he wouldn’t have taken it a brought it home.

Books with sex in can still be good enjoyable books.

We talk about books all the time at work. If someone wanted to lend one I wouldn’t say ‘oh it’s not appropriate. It has a sex scene in it’

Did he know it had a sex scene in it? If I deceiving a book to someone I don’t regularly say ‘oh and there’s sex in it’. It’s likely not occurred to her or him his wife would have problem with him lending a book or that only books that have no sex in are acceptable.

Createausername1970 · 27/07/2023 15:07

I wouldn't be overly keen on it, but the fact its on his bedside table, quite openly, then I wouldn't read (ho ho ho) too much into it.

GunkyAndGungey · 27/07/2023 15:08

Do you mean "a bit" or is "abit" a different way to express just how disgusted you are?

BrownHairedGirlWithTheBrightestSmile · 27/07/2023 15:09

Is it one of those books where the sexy, billionaire CEO dates a junior member of the team? 😬🤣

Wheretostartstitching · 27/07/2023 15:10

Wendarl · 27/07/2023 15:06

urgh, I know you’re right. I just think I’d be abit embarrassed to recommend something like that to a colleague .. just jealous of the freedom bot thought maybe

Why though?

If you watched game of thrones, would you pretend to your colleagues you didn’t?

Would you really not say wether you enjoyed a programme or book, because it has sex in?

Would you feel the same way if he said the colleague said Game of thrones was worth watch and he borrowed the box set? (Using Game of thrones as an example because it had lots of sex in it).

I think in your head you think she has lent him the book to turn him on because she wants him? But he Or you have imagined her going through the sex scene in detail. When it probably wasn’t even a point of conversation.

throwbacko2 · 27/07/2023 15:10

Why would you even ask him about the book let alone read it to check the content?

That's some mad level of insecurity and control.

mynameiscalypso · 27/07/2023 15:11

I can't believe I'm the first person to ask what the book is!

SoupDragon · 27/07/2023 15:11

GunkyAndGungey · 27/07/2023 15:08

Do you mean "a bit" or is "abit" a different way to express just how disgusted you are?

There's no need to be a dick.

Hugasauras · 27/07/2023 15:11

Assuming it's not just a porn book purely for titillation and is just a book that happens to have some sex scenes in it, YABU.

Humidititties · 27/07/2023 15:12

GunkyAndGungey · 27/07/2023 15:08

Do you mean "a bit" or is "abit" a different way to express just how disgusted you are?

Oh don't be a dick, you knew what OP meant

Hugasauras · 27/07/2023 15:13

Is it Belinda Blinked?

Whataretheodds · 27/07/2023 15:15

What's the book?

dooooo · 27/07/2023 15:15

If the colleague lent your husband a dvd of game of thrones would you also find that inappropriate? Basically the same thing?

neverbeenskiing · 27/07/2023 15:16

What book is it? If it's a novel with a decent story that also happens to have some sex in it, but that's not what the book is really about, then I wouldn't see that as an issue. If it's something like Fifty Shades where the sex is basically the whole point then yeah, that's a bit odd.

Original poster
Wendarl · 27/07/2023 15:19

It’s a really good point. No I wouldn’t.

it’s quite startling just how graphic it is, took me by surprise. Came on here to see if I was being mad. Turns out I am!

I need to get out more is the upshot tbh

OP posts:
Tatzelwyrm · 27/07/2023 15:21

what is the book?

NoSquirrels · 27/07/2023 15:23

What’s the book? Can’t give an opinion otherwise!

Original poster
Wendarl · 27/07/2023 15:23

throwbacko2 · 27/07/2023 15:10

Why would you even ask him about the book let alone read it to check the content?

That's some mad level of insecurity and control.

I can see why it seems that way with the escalation I went on, but I just meant I asked him because I was interested in what he was reading..

OP posts:
Original poster
Wendarl · 27/07/2023 15:24

It’s called “her body & other parties”, short stories.

The first one is explicit sex for a few pages, but it’s not what it’s about.

OP posts:
vibecheck · 27/07/2023 15:35

Oh my god that book is SO not sexy!! It’s an amazing short story book - it’s written by a lesbian and is super female-focussed, some body horror…. It’s genuinely incredible but absolutely not a book I’d lend if I wanted to get it on with my boss. She’s like a more modern Angela Carter vibe.

vibecheck · 27/07/2023 15:36

I honestly wouldn’t worry at all OP - it’s a fairly well known book if you’re into the literary scene online.

elizzza · 27/07/2023 15:36

AIBU to think abit weird/ lacking boundaries/ quite intimate to recommend a book

What, just any book? God, I’m always recommending books to people (even occasionally books that include sex, because I’m an adult!), never occurred to me that anyone would think it was intimate! Isn’t it just the same as discussing what you watched on tv last night?

I feel like there must be more going on you for you here OP than just a woman recommending a book. Do you have weird feelings about this colleague in general?