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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Party etiquette

7 replies

StrawberryLemonade2 · 27/07/2023 13:38

Daughter had a party yesterday. 10 spaces and everyone who was invited, turned up.

A parent turns up with two additional children - neither child is their child, parent is looking after them which is fine. I'm aware lots of children wouldn't be able to attend unless their siblings were able to come along. Didn't ask if it was okay to bring them along however it didn't particularly matter as it was a public place.

Now the part which I'm not sure is unreasonable or not is...
The parent then asked "if I had any spaces left because surely not everyone has turned up!".

If there was space, I would've offered them anyway as there is no point in wasting money but is it cheeky to just ask and assume people haven't turned up? They were also late and the last ones to arrive. They were a bit put out when I had said unfortunately there were no spaces left and if they wanted to participate, it would need to be paid for. I had never met the children either and my daughter didn't know them. Personally, I would have just paid for any additional children or waited for the host to offer up any spare spaces.

On top of that, the parent served food to the two children from the party without checking if it was okay. Thankfully there was plenty to go around and I wouldn't want children to go hungry (I had ordered additional so the adults could have a bite to eat too). Finally, their child was rude to me because I said they were unable to go back onto the play equipment as the session was over.

OP posts:
Flisss · 27/07/2023 14:01

She is a cheeky bitch of the biggest kind!!!

Curseofthenation · 27/07/2023 14:03

I mean, I think you handled it pretty well. YANBU to be peeved but ultimately it is done now. I would perhaps make it clear on the next birthday invite that unfortunately additional children cannot be catered for if it really bothers you.

TiredBefuddledRose · 27/07/2023 14:05

I had similar at my twins' 7th birthday, one of the Mums brought 4 of the invitee's cousins and left them all there (lots of kids were arriving and I didn't realise what was happening until she was gone), she turned back up at the end and starting packing up leftover food to take home for their dinner.
Luckily it was a party in a hall and I'd done too many party cakes so the uninvited kids weren't left out in any way.

BettyRoodBoy · 27/07/2023 14:07

That's rude as fuck. Acceptable if it was unplanned last-minute childcare for someone and she'd let you know in advance and she'd offered to pay... but otherwise no.

Flisss · 27/07/2023 14:33

Curseofthenation · 27/07/2023 14:03

I mean, I think you handled it pretty well. YANBU to be peeved but ultimately it is done now. I would perhaps make it clear on the next birthday invite that unfortunately additional children cannot be catered for if it really bothers you.

Realistically you should never have to quote this on an invite though

Curseofthenation · 27/07/2023 14:39

@Flisss Too true, but that's cheeky fuckers for you. Some will probably still do it even if it is specifically noted!

StrawberryLemonade2 · 27/07/2023 14:45

I definitely didn't think I had to quote it as I knew their child was an only child. Other siblings did come along, their parents paid for their entrance fee and asked for their food to arrive at the same time as the party food. They got a table next to the party room.

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