To go on this weekend away?

[Sackingitoff]

I travel to Dubai a lot for work, at least once every couple of months. Over the last couple of years, I’ve have struck up a bit of a thing with a guy who lives there.

We always have a great time when I’m there. No real romance. Definitely just friends with benefits when I’m in town. We usually go out for dinner and a few drinks etc or he’ll take me out with his mates. Great fun, great in bed, easy company.

On my last trip there though he treated me really disrespectfully in such a way that he made it clear that while he was still happy for a shag and a quick drink, I wasn’t someone important to him. It wasn’t anything awful but it was a shift in energy, for sure.

I’ve got no emotional attachment to him so it didn’t feel a great loss, but never nice to be treated like that by another person.

I told him what I thought of his behaviour and he did apologise but we’ve not been anywhere near as touch since then.

He’s coming to the U.K. for work in August and before all this happened, we’d arranged that I’d go up to London for the weekend and spend it with him and we’d go out and do a fun weekend of touristy stuff and pubs etc.

I assumed it wasn’t going ahead after that last trip too Dubai. I knew he was still coming to the U.K. but assumed he’d just meet with other people he knew here or something.

Last week he got in touch and sent me his flight details and said he was looking forward to it!

I wasn’t filled with joy about it but nonetheless I replied with some logistical questions and it’s now been four days and he’s read the message and not replied, which is pretty typical of him, of late.

Really torn on it. I don’t want to let him down as he (at least previously!) was always a great host in Dubai and really looked after me. There’s no doubt it’ll be a really fun weekend too. I haven’t been to London for a few years and he’s great company too, so it really would be a good laugh (if I can swallow my irritation towards him!).

On the other hand, his recent behaviour makes me feel like as a self-respecting woman, it feels a bit gross to go and spend the weekend with him.

Absolutely can’t decide what to do!

I think as you have the ick, there’s probably no coming back from that so I think you should cancel. Or is it an option to go just for one night? And basically use it as a farewell shag?

I’ve come to think over the years that FWB situations only work with mutual respect and an emphasis on the friendship part.: The moment that goes, then it needs to end, or it leaves you feeling rubbish .

Agree. And I think it’s gone out the window for me.

I think I’ll give it a miss.

Nope. Don't go. He's a dick. Good that he showed himself for what he is in time.

Why not be honest and tell him exactly what you have told us here. But condensed obviously.

You treated me very disrespectfully on my recent visit. It's clear that our good vibe has come to an end and I can't help with that. I'm not going to meet with you in London.

Go, shag him, and then make him feel the way you made him feel. Bring him back, do the deed, roll over and get your laptop out, start swiping on tinder, say 'there's a tube map by the door, I'm sure you can find your own way to your hotel'

I don’t want to be dramatic but I think you might be my soulmate. Do YOU want to come to London with me instead? 😂

I'm mid 50s and been with DH forever so I'm really not qualified to comment on this .. although I do have two DDs (22) so not completely in the dark.

However .... I will comment 😁.... can I ask people if you're seeing a FWB and having great sex, enjoying their company with meals out/drinks etc .... what stops you from turning that into a relationship as is sounds perfect! Obv not in the OPs case as he sounds a dick, but in other FWB situations.

I understand if you want to be alone etc, but if you're looking for a relationship.

Respect yourself. Ditch him.

@Sackingitoff I'm already here! Let's do it. On a serious note, if he is pretty good then maybe one last whirl?