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Original poster

Constantly asking to watch tv

36 replies

Helpmeintheholidays · 26/07/2023 15:53

Dd, 5 is driving me crazy being off school and constantly wanting to watch tv. I play with her (granted not all the time) we have some days out at the beach, playground, cafe, play dates. Days when we’re inside just trying to relax are a nightmare. She has a pool in the garden, trampoline, splash pad, mud kitchen, bike, scooter, jigsaws, toys, books, teddies, arts & crafts etc etc and just walks around saying she’s bored and asking to watch tv

Anyone else? It’s driving me crazy, I remember as a kid learning how to occupy myself and using my imagination.

OP posts:
Diddykong · 26/07/2023 15:55

My Dc try it on. I just hide the remote and say it's off for the day. If I let up then the next day will be worse.

Sirzy · 26/07/2023 15:56

But by having free access to other things but having TV restricted it makes TV seem so much more appealing.

a bit of tv during the holidays, especially if your doing plenty of other things, really isn’t a big issue.

Original poster
Helpmeintheholidays · 26/07/2023 15:57

@Sirzy I’m fine with a bit of tv and she watches some, but lately she’s started to want to watch it all the time and do nothing else, i’m not having her just sat on the sofa all day watching tv

OP posts:
LobsterCrab · 26/07/2023 15:59

Put clear boundaries in place. Either a total time per day (and she gets to decide when) using a timer to count down, or specific times if that works better for you.

Pkhsvd · 26/07/2023 15:59

If she is allowed to then what happens? I don’t restrict tv for my DC mainly because they will watch for 20 mins then start playing and forget about it (then I turn it off) or maybe watch a film then play for a couple of hours. As soon as I say something isn’t allowed it seems to be the one thing they want to do and I get it as my mind works in the same way.
If she will just sit there for hours then I’d see what effect that will have on the next day as you might find that taking away the forbidden side of it makes it less interesting the next day

Createausername1970 · 26/07/2023 16:02

Daytime tv wasn't an option when I was 5, so it didn't form part of what I might want to do, so I had to find something else. The problem is, kids TV is 24/7 now and once they know it is, its difficult to avoid it.

DD sounds like she has a lot of things to do, but maybe she wants to be playing with someone else. Things are often more fun with two of you.

Can you compromise and agree to a "down day" once a week when she can sit round and watch TV, but there is no TV any other day until mid afternoon - and then spread the activities you do with her across the week, so that she has some activities and some quiet time with TV each day. It is hard to keep a small child occupied all day everyday - and can be quite expensive as well, so I was generally OK with a bit of TV, as long as it wasn't all the time. TV at the end of the afternoon, with a carpet picnic - that's what my boy used to like.

AskAgathaIfSheWantsACupOfTea · 26/07/2023 16:04

I think I read on here once that if a kid is whinging about something it means you need to have a rule and stick to it and mean it. No negotiations. (I even screenshotted and saved the advice!)

In your case, I’d pick times the tv is allowed on (Eg with breakfast until 8am and between 4-5pm only.) And that’s it! No negotiation. If they ask, say “nope it’s not time” and stick to it. I reckon 3 days if not giving in and the whinging will stop?

Constantly asking to watch tv
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 26/07/2023 16:04

I don’t think it’s that weird- not all kids can entertain themselves- tbh I think most kids are social and need interaction with others- or a specific set task.

AskAgathaIfSheWantsACupOfTea · 26/07/2023 16:05

Also “the tv is broken” (unplugged) worked for us for a while. I told her daddy had to get a new part to fix it 😆

Quoria · 26/07/2023 16:07

Mine aren't allowed TV before 5pm. They rarely ask and if they do I remind them it's not 5pm. Also good for helping young children understand time!

jannier · 26/07/2023 16:08

Often they play better with less choice too much and it's overwhelming

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 26/07/2023 16:20

Quoria · 26/07/2023 16:07

Mine aren't allowed TV before 5pm. They rarely ask and if they do I remind them it's not 5pm. Also good for helping young children understand time!

Do you have more than one child? Because I imagine that helps immensely

UndercoverCop · 26/07/2023 16:23

DS likes it when I get something specific out, so he's having breakfast and I've got the train set out and started building it in the living room, or I've got the big box of Duplo, Lego and magformers out, bonus points if it's something he hasn't played with for a while. I play with him but then if I have other things to do he gets on with it

Chandalie · 26/07/2023 16:30

Is she an only child?

It sounds like she has a range of things already to keep her stimulated. TV should be the last resort.

Continue to meet up with other parents or have one of her friends round or a cousin and vice versa?

Have you tried the library and seen what books might interest her? My local library had a toy library.

Also, some libraries have activities for kids during school holidays.

Or how about taking her to the park when the weather is good (if there's one near you) You could meet up with another parent at the park.

Or once a week maybe she could go swimming if there's a pool with kids pool near you.

Is there anything she is interested in that she could do as a hobby?

HolidayPlansAPlanning · 26/07/2023 16:31

I remember as a kid learning how to occupy myself and using my imagination

Yes me too but we only had 3 tv channels and the children's tv slot was short, maybe 2 hours every evening before the 6pm news came on. Saturdays were best after being dragged round the market in town because supermarkets shut at 5.30pm and both my parents worked full time.

Mine had tv slots when they were younger so they could watch tv at certain points in the day but tv is entertaining, there are lots of great tv programs on there. We are watching Bluey even though my youngest child is 17. If your child is an only child then it is hard for them to play by themselves all the time and find things to do. Bluey shows children how to play using their imagination, it could give her lots of ideas.

Chlora · 26/07/2023 16:36

Time of day limits worked well for us for years. We did no TV before lunch, ever, and tried to go out somewhere most afternoons to go either day a bit of structure, which limited the amount of hours available. Let the rules do the work - the only thing is then you have to stick to them too.

CalmYourThunder · 26/07/2023 16:37

If we were home, I didn’t restrict TV. They would often play with toys at the same time or if they sat and watched properly, they’d go off and do something else after a couple of hours. As long as they’re doing a variety of stuff over the week, and getting outside, I didn’t worry about it.

Mine are teenagers now and like screen time but do lots of sport, see friends, etc. Screens are not the enemy.

Quoria · 26/07/2023 16:39

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 26/07/2023 16:20

Do you have more than one child? Because I imagine that helps immensely

Show quote history

One is a toddler and so not really a playmate. It worked for my older child for a long time before the sibling was born/when they were a baby.

Chandalie · 26/07/2023 16:39

jannier · Today 16:08
Often they play better with less choice too much and it's overwhelming

I think this is true.. Kids could become used to being constantly stimulated.

This could be why kids in the past used their imaginations. We weren't exposed to the range on offer to kids today designed to fill their time.

Original poster
Helpmeintheholidays · 26/07/2023 17:04

She’s an only child and v sociable so I make sure we have play dates, she plays with the neighbourhood kids etc, but it’s obviously not all the time. We go out so much to all kinds of places, but I like a few days in per week to just relax at home.
She used to be not that fussed about tv, would watch for a bit then play, now she’d sit and watch for ages if allowed

OP posts:
ManateeFair · 26/07/2023 17:17

I think it really depends on what she watches. I doubt I'd want a five-year-old to sit there all day watching terrible American guff full of adverts on Nickelodeon. But sitting quietly and concentrating on a well-made film, following the story and really engaging with it, is a different matter. I actually have very happy memories of watching films on TV on wet afternoons at home during the school holidays. I probably saw a lot of classic children's/family films that way and I did grow up with a love of cinema.

ManateeFair · 26/07/2023 17:20

Helpmeintheholidays · 26/07/2023 17:04

She’s an only child and v sociable so I make sure we have play dates, she plays with the neighbourhood kids etc, but it’s obviously not all the time. We go out so much to all kinds of places, but I like a few days in per week to just relax at home.
She used to be not that fussed about tv, would watch for a bit then play, now she’d sit and watch for ages if allowed

now she’d sit and watch for ages if allowed

Genuine question: do you think that's because she's hooked on staring at the screen, or do you think that's just because now that she's a little older, she's got enough concentration span to stick with watching something for longer, rather than getting bored before the story's unfolded? I obviously don't know the answer, but I've just suddenly wondered whether we sometimes mistake one for the other? I don't know.

Sirzy · 26/07/2023 17:20

But if your out a lot why not give her some freedom as to how she relaxes? As others have said when it’s not too restricted she will most likely wander off to do something else after a while anyway.

you risk turning it into a battle ground when all you both want to do is be able to relax a bit

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 26/07/2023 17:26

If otherwise she’s out and about I see no issue with some tv

Teaandscone · 26/07/2023 17:27

How about some audio books? You can access the Libby app (or similar) with your public library ID. Great for listening skills and vocabulary; needs a bit more mental effort than television.