I will try and keep this brief but the background is complicated. My younger sister has gone no contact with myself and other sibling following a disagreement at Christmas over our children (she thought my children were crowding hers, yelled at my young daughter horribly and I asked her to apologise to my daughter). She and I used to be close but in recent years, every time she comes home from her home abroad she ends up causing awful family fights which drag on for weeks, often over very trivial matters - the last one was because my mum and I stayed on at a party after she went home, she thought we should have left with her. This led to a 3 week long fight with the whole family that ruined our summer holiday. This behaviour isn’t limited to us, she frequently has falling outs with her good friends, her in laws and her husband. Her friends have told me they think she needs professional help which we have also suggested.
She re-initiated contact with my mum a few weeks ago as she is expecting her second child and wants mum to fly over to help her, which mum has done with some trepidation. I’ve since found out she has been texting my dad saying mum is being nervous and needy over there and it’s causing her extra stress and she wants dad to “calm her down”. She is still in touch with dad as he helps her financially. He couldn’t go with mum due to an illness but that was actually quite fortunate because he didn’t want to see my sister, he’s so fed up with her behaviour. I feel awful for mum as she probably is nervous at doing the wrong thing and being cut off from her grandchildren again, she’s also travelling solo which she doesn’t like to do so I imagine that she is a bit on edge. But she was also the only one who really wanted to go over and help and is the only one who wants to try and bring the family back together quickly- my brother and I have now had enough until my sister can change.
My sister is due to have her baby in a few days. I am also pregnant and expecting in a few weeks. I will send her flowers to her house from me and my family when her baby comes, but I honestly don’t know if I should call - she has blocked me on WhatsApp and not responded to any messages from me since January, nor has her husband. I kept these messages brief and focused on our pregnancies they weren’t addressing the fight or in any way aggressive or controversial, just simple how are you have you had your scans etc. I genuinely don’t know if she would answer and I actually don’t want to speak to her if I’m being honest. I’ve thought long and hard and I don’t want to speak to her when my baby is born either, and I’m not expecting any sort of acknowledgment from her that I’ve had another child. I get so much anxiety just thinking about it that I can feel my cortisol levels spiking which can’t be good for the baby.
AIBU to just send flowers and a card and maybe try to text? I am hopeful we can repair this relationship someday and don’t want to look back and regret not doing the right thing at this momentous time.