Being messed around in a selling group

[fartfacenotfatface]

DC is starting secondary school soon and so I joined the 'buy and sell' secondhand uniform parents' FB group.
Yesterday afternoon someone was offering a big bundle of uniform and PE kit. I messaged with a couple of minutes of the post going live asking to purchase the lot at the advertised price. Within 5 mins we had agreed a collection time of this evening. Great.
Yesterday evening, she messaged to apologise that she'd now sold the blazer, trousers and PE hoody but did I still want the rest for X amount. I was at work so couldn't access my phone for a few hours but replied as soon as I could saying I'd take the remaining PE kit plus school jumper.
She replied this morning to say sorry, only the jumper left now.
AIBU to be pissed off? Why agree to sell me the whole lot at the asking price and then sell it in bits to other people? She seemed put out when I said I didn't want to do a 20 mile round trip for just a jumper.

Nah she's a CF. Once she agreed the sale with you she should have kept the items for you.
Just be wary and don't buy from her in future.

Thanks! Didn't think I was being unreasonable to be pissed off but you never know!

I used to think your way of doing things was right (whoever responds first gets it) but then I saw a post on here where someone says they do the first who actually turns up gets it… having been let down by buyers before I can see the sense in doing it that way. So maybe this seller is the same?

I would say her way is better, as I've had no end of people arranging to collect on X day, then rearranging constantly or simply not turning up then going AWOL. Now, whoever can collect soonest can have it.
Although if this is the case, you should let potential buyers know.

When I sell it's first come first served. Too many timewasters to hold onto things for people who promise they'll turn up later. But I make that clear in my listings

Meh. I used to feel the same as you, but I've had so many people let me down that I just prioritise making the sale to whoever can collect first.

I would assume that whoever agrees first can have it.

But, like others I have had people messing me around and not turning up so I can see why they would let certain items go if people could collect sooner.

Op i'm sorry you didn't manage to buy the uniform but I agree with those saying they sell to those who can collect first. If for some reason you hadn't shown up she would have had to relist all the uniform, where as instead she's managed to sell pretty much everything and it's been collected before your arranged time.

I agree with her way but I'd have told you.

No way will.I ever hold stuff again unless I know them.personally. Too many people never turn up.

I understand your frustration but I get her point, too. I've sold a few baby things recently and when people have agreed to it, they've not turned up and I've turned others away in the meantime. I now say the first to collect it can have it, rather than the first to reserve it.

Ok first to collect seems the norm - then she should have said so.

In my initial message I asked when she would like me to collect - she replied 'is tomorrow ok?' My reply was yes that's fine and that I could do daytime or evening.

She said she was going to be 'in and out with the kids' during the day but would let me know when she got home. I suggested that maybe evening would be better then, as she knew she'd be in all evening (I live 10 miles away and have several of my own kids with stuff going on, so couldn't just drop everything at short notice for a narrow window at an unknown time to collect in the day if she didn't know exactly when she'd be in). She replied - "perfect, see you then".

If she wanted it collected straight away, then her sensible reply would have been 'I've had other people interested so would prefer it if you could collect today / in the next hour / tomorrow morning at 9 etc.'.

However, this school has a huge, mainly rural catchment area. Few of the parents live anywhere near each other so most are not really in a position to just pop round to pick up like they would if it was the local high school and all the potential buyers lived in the same town. Most sellers on this page get that and it's normal to wait until the weekend for collections so I thought a next day collection was quite speedy!

Most sellers on this page get that and it's normal to wait until the weekend for collections so I thought a next day collection was quite speedy!

Sure, but it makes no difference to her as long as she makes the sale. If someone messaged me and said they could come right now to collect, and I was in, I'd be mad to say no!

But she suggested the time for collection! Not me. I didn't say I can't make it until tomorrow. She said would tomorrow be ok?

And in any case, would you not go back to the original buyer and say sorry, someone else has offered to collect sooner so I'll pass to them unless you can make it in the next hour or whatever?

And in any case, would you not go back to the original buyer and say sorry, someone else has offered to collect sooner so I'll pass to them unless you can make it in the next hour or whatever

Nah to be honest that's extra effort. I did that sort of thing years ago but now I just sell with the least effort - don't need to faff around messaging people and waiting for replies. People are flaky - both sellers and buyers. (I include myself in that!). It's just one of the risks of choosing to use Marketplace.