I'm really shy, and I'm starting to worry that there's something more than shyness as childhood friends who were also quiet/shy have outgrown it, whereas I'm still really, really shy. I have come a long way, but despite having a decent career it's something that colleagues and my manager mention, not in a bad way but I find it really embarrassing. A senior manager at my previous job had a meeting with me, I thought it was an informal catch-up but it ended up being her spending the entire 20 minutes talking about how she was shy when she was in her 20s, and how she gained confidence. It felt really invasive and upsetting but I think it was from a kind place. I can feel that people infantilise me a little bit with it, like they are very gentle with the way they speak to me.
I can speak on the phone and speak up in work meetings and give presentations when needed. However, sometimes in meetings I just can't bring myself to speak up and say something. Sometimes I will know something and can't get myself to say it, so I'll stay quiet and then message/email afterwards. I will do weird things to avoid people like deliberately go out to avoid meeting my Mum's friends, or pretend to be ill to avoid meeting my sister's boyfriend for the first time. At work I usually make up an excuse to avoid going for lunch with colleagues. I don't even notice I'm doing it half the time.
I was really shy as a child. I used to cry every morning before school/nursery until the age of around 7. I would sometimes cry at sleepovers or playdates and would have to get my parents to pick me up. I never would put my hand up in class to answer a question even when I knew it.
I'm not really sure what I want out of this thread. I'm just concerned that most people tend to outgrow their childhood shyness to some degree, even if they still are on the quieter side. But I'm still ridiculously shy and it feels immature somehow, like a childish quality that I can't get rid of.