Physical Abuse at home

[oneanddonee]

I'm 24.

I moved in with my parents just under a year ago with my 3 year old son. We have a decent sized family home. Detached with a garden and 3 family rooms. I moved in as I was leaving DA and had barely any money to my name. My parents were happy to support us and took me in.

My 18 year old sister lives here too, she'll be 19 soon. She's said things in the past to me like
Why do you even live here, go move out, she takes her anger and frustration out on my toddler sometimes, all the while I have been nice, I take her out to eat, spoil her when shopping, stayed up til 3am helping her revise even if I have work the next day, supported her with her driving and so much more financially as a sister just being a good big sister. I even let her come out with me and my friends I feel sorry for her as she doesn't have many.

On Monday I wore a cream jumper that belonged to my other sister, I wore it all day and my 18 year old sister said nothing to me. Tuesday as I was getting changed to go out after work she said she wants to wear it for her driving lesson, I explained I'm already wearing it and her instructor isn't going to care what she wears and she started to hit me, ofc I in retaliation I hit her back, however she hit me to the stage my arms are bruised , scratched and bled. My collarbones have scabs and my face has a scratch on too. This wasn't about the jumper she just came in and attacked me for not getting what she wanted. She's hit my other sister in the past too.

This isn't what hurt me, after I gave her the jumper once she hit me and I had enough, as she left she said
No wonder your husband left you.
She is well aware, I left him, and my ex was abusive towards me.
These words cut very deep. The bruises will fade but what she's said really hurt.
I haven't cried like that in months.

I explained to my parents. My dad was angry, my mum just said she simply doesn't like you living here and you shouldn't have told your dad. My mum just said that's how she is.

Am I being unreasonably in wishing life would humble my sister so she'd realise how disgusting how mouth runs and HURTS people.

Bump?

Her behaviour is appalling she sounds a right madam and needs to have some respect. How long are you likely to be there ?

I know you won’t but would you consider reporting this assault to the police ?

Sounds awful! And unfortunately it doesn’t sound like your mum and dad are on the same page either! It really seems like your mum is like “o well” whereas your Dad! They’ve raised a right one there!

I’d have her arrested for assault she cannot take the law into her own hands! That takes the heat off your mum and dads seperate views too! Only then I think she will realise the seriousness of the issue!

Report to police because she’s assaulted you. No need to take it further, yet.
Take photos of yr bruising etc for future reference.
Talk to your GP to get it on yr medical record too.
STOP doing anything further with her. Withdraw.
Don’t leave her alone with your child. Kids can be challenging and if she can hit an adult sibling, what might she do to a kid?
She sounds a right little entitled c*w.

As your parents obviously intend to do nothing about her behaviour you will have to revisit your options I wouldn't be allowing my 3 year old to be around that.

Your sister is self arsehole, loudly call her out on her bullshit ways when she starts, do not help her with anything and definitely do not leave your child alone with her.

And your mum needs a head wobble too, she's raised a monster!

If you report to the police they'll be obliged to make a report to social services as you have a child living there.

Sounds like it's time for you to move out tbh.

Is there anyway you could move out?

My brother was physically abusive to me into adulthood. I left as soon as I could and now have very little contact. My parents minimised as well. I'm so sorry.

You are far ahead of me at your age recognising it as abuse. Good for you. However you are still doing what I did trying to be a good sibling. You don't have to be. You don't have to be nice to abusive people.

So your mum is ok with your sister physically abusing you. Obviously your mum is a big part of the problem here also. Is your sister the golden child in your family. It certainly sounds like it with the way your mum re-acted to the situation. Take pictures of your injuries and report.

I know it is not fair or right but for your safety and your childs, you need to get out of there. Maybe talk to your Dad - it does sound like he has your back to an extent.

Agree, report her to the police. Bring her down a peg or two. Otherwise she will do this again and perhaps to your child.

Fuck me, what a little monster she is.
You don't deserve anyone to treat you so badly. I'm sending a big hug. Strangers on the Internet often give the best ones.

Since you can't just give her a good swift kick in the ribs, I'd stay out her way until you've enough to get out the house. Just ignore her, something will really humble her, probably a bigger bully, sadly.

Often people are told to seek therapy on here and not always as a kind bit of advice, but you've obviously been very traumatised by your ex, your parents are dismissive of your sisters abusive behaviour etc, I think, said with the most kindness, it would benefit you to talk to someone about acceptable and appropriate behaviour towards you, because your self esteem must be in the toilet my love.

Youre young enough to get help and support and live a wonderful life given the respect you deserve, please consider giving yourself and DC that gift by looking into something like counselling.

Honestly not a dig, I just think you could use reassurance from someone professional that you deserve and are worthy of being respected x

I’m so sorry this has happened to you, she sounds a right cow!! And deliberately hurtful, physically as well as emotionally.

If you can’t leave the home just yet, I would completely block her in as many ways as you can, act as though she does not exist, no more conversation, let alone help with anything.
Even if she apologises, she has shown her true colours. definitely keep your child away from her! hope you are feeling better about it all soon.xx