To not tell DH about child's referral?

29 replies

MackerelPate · 26/07/2023 12:22

I have self referred my son to speech and language services. He is 4 and has started to stutter the end sound of words.

When I mentioned a potential problem to DH he was very defensive and did not want to discuss. He is a good dad and no issues in our relationship.

So I have self referred. If I tell DH I have then he will get annoyed and say I am trying to diagnose my son with problems he doesn't have. But is it wrong to keep this from him?

OP posts:

Puffed · 26/07/2023 22:03

Just to confirm many nhs speech therapy services in the U.K. also use lidcombe.

continentallentil · 26/07/2023 22:05

Soontobe60 · 26/07/2023 12:37

I’d phrase it as ‘I’ve self referred to SALT to put my mind at rest that his speech is developing ok’.

This. Lying is daft in a relationship.

Stuttering is quite common at this age so I doubt it will proceed for now, but no harm asking.

Gerrataere · 26/07/2023 22:13

Lying isn’t ok. Asking for a referral is absolutely fine because you’re thinking of the best interest of your son, which huffing and saying he’ll get over it certainly is not (however true it may be).

I agree with a pp though, some men can get ridiculously defensive. The arguments I had with my ex about wanting to speak to someone about our children’s developmental issues. Apparently it was my anxiety and overthinking. Yet when several years later we got the first ‘your child is autistic’ diagnosis he scoffed and said he’d known all along. We wouldn’t have if I hadn’t made that call for help 🙄.

Lancrelady80 · 26/07/2023 22:55

belowtheline · 26/07/2023 21:48

@AHelpfulHand

I think it was this programme https://www.lidcombeprogram.org/about-lidcombe-program/about-the-lidcombe-program/

and I appreciate that this doesn’t work for every child. My son’s stutter was awful. He would start to stutter and then would grab his little chin in his little hands to make it stop. His face and neck would go bright red and the little veins in his neck would pop out. And it was constant. It affected his behaviour and relationships with his peers at pre-school to the extent that he was getting physically hurt by some of the other children. The Head Teacher at the pre-school was a dragon of a lady but she rang the Education Department every day advocating for urgent SLT for my son. This thread has brought back long lost memories.

Yes, we did this programme with ds on the NHS. So help is available, but it's no guaranteed cure.

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