NC for this
I have a friend, lets call her A and she appears to have absolutely zero ambition to try and improve her life.
A is almost 42, Single, 2 kids, 15 and 8 I think, both in FTE, she has no job, hasn't worked for over 15yrs and seemingly doesn't seem to be thinking about the future.
She has never learned to drive, and makes her own parents, who are well into their 70s drive her food shopping each week, and not just that but any trip needs to be accommodated by her parents, basically anywhere outside of the town she lives, think about all the times any parent just takes their kids to the seaside/zoo/after school clubs, they even take them all on a family holiday. She can't do any of it, thing is her parents won't be able to drive forever, and I have gently enquired as to where she sees herself in the future, there is a high chance her kids will move out of the local area as it is a small town, and her parents won't be able to drive her about anymore.
There is also the housing situation, she lives in a new build house which is provided via Council/HA, I haven't enquired which, but to those in the know, what happens when both the kids turn 18, Child benefit will stop I know, and i'm sure once they move out the council will say you can't have a 3bed for 1 person, so I don't know where she will go, or how she will pay her way, I fear she will end up having to move back into her parents in her mid-late fifties
Friend A is generally a nice person, loves her kids, but airs all her life over social media, including slating her EX of the 2nd child all the time, I can't help but feel this will negatively be picked up by her children, and whatever issues there are at least keep it yourself and between the ex.
Myself and other mums are a mixture of single/coupled parents, all with similar aged kids, and each one of us is either back at work/studying trying to provide a better life for ourselves, showing our kids a strong work ethic etc, I don't think there is a valid reason why she doesn't go back to work, she will say she suffers with Mental health every now and then, but I believe from knowing her over 20yrs, this is more a copout, and it is more a case of being mentally weak, her parents have enabled this behaviour and i feel she needs a bit of a reality check and kick up the backside, she seems to think that she will meet a man and everything will be ok. However a relationship is more team work, and she claims all her exes have had red flags, when in reality I don't think many men will choose to date an unemployed mum who can't drive, as they don't want to be a taxi service and bank card for someone who stays at home. If it was the other way round and by all the threads on here, I know women would say kick this person out they are a leach.
The issue is now myself and others are beginning to tire of As attitude, she doesn't really have anything to talk about apart from talk nonsense about her Ex, and we are all getting tired and weary with it. I fear she is being left behind in life, and hasn't realised what will happen when her kids move out, living their own lives and social commitments, I fear she will be making them drive her around for the rest of her life, can you imagine if they move towns and she is saying they need to pick her up and take her food shopping etc. We are at the point where we are planning holidays with other couples/friends etc, and of course she can't afford to do any of it, but we shouldn't feel bad for wanting to have a good life if we are working for it.
AIBU to slowly distance myself from this friend?