Many years ago I became estranged from family in my early 20s. I moved in with my partner and when I had issues with him (as a result of some things I was sorting through myself due to estrangement) I often turned to two friends I had (a couple). They became very close friends and we often spent a lot of time as couples together.
We then found and bought a house on the same street as them, and we saw each other a lot. During this time my family started coming back into my life. This couple then almost broke up, lots of issues from the past came out and I tried supporting them as best as I could through it. For example being there for my guy friend (who I became friends with first) and being there for my girl friend too. She had been battling depression and I believe this contributed to some issues in their relationship- what I mean by this is she became withdrawn and unsure of the relationship and other side affects of depression.
There was one night my guy friend had left the house over an argument and I went over to see my girl friend who was crying. The dishes were stacked high, cat poop in litter (it smelt). I went in opened the windows, sorted out cat poop, washed the dishes and made her some tea and sat and spoke to her. I genuinely wanted to be there for them as they had for me.
After this they naturally needed space as they worked through their relationship and became withdrawn from us.
They stopped talking to us and it’s just really awkward when we have seen them on the road. I honestly don’t know why and I have played a number of reasons through in my head but I think they were embarrassed for the amount they shared with me (details of the issues) and wanted to move on. I also think there was a small element of we started getting promotions and they were not doing too well, although we never flaunted this, they knew because we had the same group of friends or once they saw my partner in a suit and asked where he was going (interview).
We are moving but still in the same area (literally a few roads away) and I hate the fact things have been left unsaid and I don’t even know why!
I suppose I have for years wondered if I should put a letter through their mailbox as something to provide closure to myself and to minimise the awkwardness should we bump into them in future, at least we can be on a hello basis instead of uncomfortably ignoring each other as we have done. I also feel like I want to share with them how special they were to me and that what they did hurt. But then I feel stupid and think why be so vulnerable when they clearly did not feel the same about me and could discard me the way they did.
I don’t think I am keen to rekindle the friendship, I wouldn’t mind if they did but it’s one of those things it’s been so long and life has moved on. As for the letter I think it would just be along the lines of, not entirely sure what happened but I wanted to thank you for being there for me at a time in my life I needed the support, I wish you all the best etc Obviously not that short or those words but something along the lines of that.
What should I do?
AIBU= don’t post the letter
YANBU= post the letter