To not make use of our last opportunities for a cheap family holiday abroad?

[OrangeySnicket]

I have three DC: three year old twins and a baby nearly a year old. The twins will be starting school in September 24.

We've never been on a holiday abroad since having children, and if we want to do it we really need to before September 24 when we'll be restricted to school holidays and so paying a lot more.

At the moment, we've just done breaks in the UK with Butlins etc which my kids adore because of all the shows and entertainment, and the pools. We can also drive to nice places on the coast within about 90 mins so the traveling is stress free.

Going abroad would bring us more reliable weather for the beach, outdoor splash parks etc but we'd have to pick carefully so it wasn't somewhere too hot especially for the baby.

I want a holiday to be a holiday, and as easy as possible, so if we went abroad it would be to an all inclusive resort which we'd be unlikely to leave more than once in the week for a day trip somewhere.

We could do 4 or 5 midweek Butlins trips next year (with food included) for the price of one week to an AI from our local airport (Spain/Greece/Turkey/Canaries).

DH is really keen to go abroad over the next year but I think we'd be much better off having multiple trips to Butlins etc. I don't think DCs will care about being abroad and would prefer more trips. With school holiday prices and then having to pay for a seat on a plane for all three kids/needing accommodation for three kids a holiday abroad will be out of budget after next year.

AIBU to make us miss out on our chance to go abroad next year in favour of UK trips?

@NameChange30 thats a great idea, I may have to look into that!

I agree northern France is a good shout. The weather is generally better than here, certainly better than the more northern parts of the UK (in the same way, the south of England has, on average, much better weather than Scotland). But even if it means a plane, I do think you should seriously consider your husband's POV. I'm not a big sun-seeker, but I'd rather have one brilliant week's holiday than 4 or 5 okay ones.

My child has just completed Reception and I'd say at least a third of the class, maybe half, missed some days for a term time holiday. It's really not a big deal. I'm a teacher and hate the whole fine thing. A week off is much less problematic than kids with lots off sporadic days off for minor things like colds.

Kids clubs….. Butlins can’t compare, also sitting outside for evening entertainment/dinner.

Southern Spain is 41 degrees at the moment. It's been between 40 and 44 for three weeks. It's not looking likely to cool significantly any time soon.

We've just been; I had to go for work. I have a 19 month old. He coped fine, but I wouldn't have wanted to do it with three, you'd be constantly suncreaming someone. It didn't cool down much until 10pm, when it'd be 37/38 degrees.

That said, I probably would go on holiday. If DH wants to AND is hands-on and will be useful. It won't be cocktails and reading, though; so you'll need to do a bit of a mental shift first or you won't enjoy it. There's definitely an element of home-but-somewhere-different about toddler holidays, even though I really enjoy them.

I wish I’d taken my oldest (15 and 13) on more holidays abroad before they’d started school. Choosing a time when it’s not too warm, having zero faff of rainy uk holidays etc is priceless for me.

Saying that, I also wish I’d taken them out for term time holidays before school got serious too.

I agree with letting your DH have this one! Also the saving will be massive not just that you can avoid school holidays but also the baby doesn’t need a seat on the plane or a bed as they’ll be in a travel cot.

Thanks for all the responses.

I see why the ferry/holiday park looks like a good compromise, but neither of us wants to drive abroad and we definitely want all inclusive buffet food to make meal times enjoyable (DCs love the buffet in Butlins but restaurant meals are always quite stressful with them as they get frustrated waiting).

We have been to Butlins three times in the last year and would go every week if we could afford it and didn't have to work! Kids are always desperate to go back. So we would enjoy several trips.

I definitely know it's not going to be like our trips abroad in the past which is what gives me hesitation. They'll definitely love warm sea and sand but will they love it for a week? I do see the appeal but it is a lot of money if we go and it's actually just a lot of hard work and not that much fun.

Yes, this makes a big difference so it really does feel like it's go in the next year or not for many years to come!

Perhaps that's my answer ...

Yes I think YABU. You've had loads fo your butlins holidays, you partner wants to go abroad.. what he wants matters too.

DH is pretty hands on but also gets stressed out quite easily if kids are having a day when they're playing up and fighting which happens if you don't occupy them enough!

I also can't see great flight options from our local airport (and going from Gatwick etc would be a huge faff) so it seems like we'd either be leaving really early in the morning, or arriving or coming back late at night so I'm not sure what the fall out from that would be or if they'd just quickly adjust. Several days of over tired children is definitely not a holiday!

We didn't go abroad until ours were much older, but when we did it was a concession my husband made to me, so that I would get more of a break from the cooking.

I can see your point of view but I'm with the posters who say let your husband win this one. Not because it's "objectively" a better choice, but because he wants to and you might not get the opportunity again for a while.

That said, holidays abroad are getting insanely expensive.

I guess I should be clear that these aren't 'my holidays' as I wouldn't have been seen dead there pre DC. It's not like I love puppet shows and watching people dressed up as PJ Masks. But they give us a proper break as DCs are excitedly running from activity to activity all day, and I love seeing how much happiness they get from them.

It's not like I'm dragging my family to something that's just for me so DH needs payback!

What is your local airport? Roughly when would you want to go?

I’d find travelling abroad with 3 children under 3 yrs absolutely fucking exhausting. I don’t blame you for not feeling thrilled by the prospect.

With the heat, the constant application of sun cream, the time difference, I found holidays abroad with toddlers to be the opposite of relaxing.

You can shelve going abroad for a few years. I personally don’t have an issue with taking primary dc out of school for a week if needs be.

We could do 4 or 5 midweek Butlins trips next year (with food included) for the price of one week to an AI from our local airport (Spain/Greece/Turkey/Canaries)

this part is absolute nonsense that you e created to fit your argument. Sorry but it’s true!

?

What an odd post. It's not nonsense, that's the difference in prices.

Why do you need to do AI? What’s wrong with half board and a sandwich for lunch? Much better value!

Because I don't want to be making sandwiches when I'm on holiday.

I got a notification about this yesterday - looks like all under 2s are free, after that it depends on the hotel?
https://www.jet2holidays.com/free-child-place-finder

i live in Leeds so Jet2 is my go to as they fly out of the local airport, but I imagine TUI do the same

You don't need to make sandwiches if you are HB.

Just buy something cheap from the pool bar at lunchtime and keep some soft drinks in your room for the DCs. With big breakfasts and dinners you can probably get by with sharing a couple of things.

AI can be ridiculously expensive these days, at the place we are going to they wanted to charge an extra £250 per person above HB for the week so we're just going HB.

I would personally only go abroad if you had extra support, you can’t relax beside water when you have young kids. We went with my parents and my aunt and uncle a couple of years ago and it was still hard work but we managed to get a bit of a break and a night out on our own. I wouldn’t go if it was just me and my husband it’s not relaxing at all. We do caravan holidays which they absolutely love. If you must go though we did Tenerife in November and it was a perfect temp

I was about to ask the exact same question! My answer to this would depend on whether you've got one of the ones who understands the work involved in taking little ones abroad and will muck in accordingly, or whether he's liable to view it as an opportunity to relax and expect you to do all the same shit, different location aspects.

Another one who is with your DH on this.

Maybe the DC will be happy anywhere but the holiday isn't entirely about the DC, it's for you and DH too.

Re the heat, the beauty of being able to holiday in term time is not just the cost, it is being able to pick a time when the temperature is more bearable. I can't take extreme temperature. We went to Southern Spain this year. In late March and early April. It was lovely, warm like a nice Spring day here but not too overpowering.

However, it sounds from all your posts like you have already made your mind up and are just looking for more reasons not to go.

When our DC was that age we typically took the ferry to Northern France and had a gite in Brittany or somewhere. Usually in June. Although wd did fly further South in France and hire a car sometimes.

I would go abroad, it would be a no brainer. We've only 2 kids, so no experience of travelling with 3, but we went on lots of trips with them at that age.

Yes, you've had your choice of holidays since having kids, ffs let him go for a nice break for once