Husband and tea

[decaffonlypls]

So I work part time and dh works full time. Mon-thurs I'm home first so I do tea and pots. Fri-Sun dh cooks and I do pots. I get fed up with the weekend arrangement as dh likes to cook big meals which mean him spending a couple hours in kitchen 'preparing' and listening to music. This restricts how long we go out for (as a family) on a weekend as we have to be back by 4 to 'make tea.' And means I'm entertaining kids by my self as I do in the week. And after tea (which is usually lovely tbf) there's a ridiculous amount of pots, like it will take me an hour to clean the kitchen up.

So next Saturday is dd birthday and she wants pizza. She has allergies so we will make her a pizza from scratch. For the rest of us (6) I want to buy some pizzas from Sainsbury's. Dh wants to make pizzas as 'it's easier' but we are going out in the day and I know he will want to get back for making tea plus he makes such a mess when he makes pizza, flour everywhere and the trays end up with flour and dough encrusted on which takes ages to get off . I just want an easy day for once . Dh acts like I'm being unreasonable. Am I?

Sorry why are you cleaning up 7 nights a week?

He can wash the pots up on his days, why the hell are you doing it 7 days a week?

He works 37 hours a week plus 1 hour each way commute. I work 10 hours a week with 30min commute. I guess I do everything in week due to his long hours and at weekend it's 50:50. I do occasionally cook at weekends but he sulks so he mostly does it

Yup, agree with above posters - if you have to clean up when you cook, then so should he. That way if he decides to dirty evey pot in the kitchen and cover the place in flour, at least it isn't your problem to clean it up.

but he sulks so he mostly does it

This would be a hard no for me.

Sulking as an adult just isn't acceptable. Feeling overwhelmed and needing a time out, fair enough. Sulking to get your own way (which is what you describe) just ... no.

Sorry.

Ime the one who cooks does the pots also. Ime this way less dishes are created =less clear up time. And each person get nights off!

Whoever cooks does the washing up! Less likely to use every dish in the house and more likely to clean as they go then. 😉

He can wash some stuff as he goes surely, I like to get the majority of the food prep pots and pans washed before dinner is ready. I hate it if someone else cooks and every single item is there to clean up. Tell him he can make pizza for once, but does he mind washing up too as you struggle to get the dough off and you don’t want to spend all evening doing it. If he sulks, let him sulk

Personally I wouldn't do his pots at the weekends.

I'd insist that the cleaning up is done (jointly by you both) before you all sit down to dinner (obviously apart from plates/serving dishes which can go in the dishwasher). That will incentivise him to clean as he goes/not use every pot as otherwise his efforts will go cold and he won't have a 'wow' moment when you all appreciate how wonderful he is.

I'd just tell him that there's no way you're finishing dinner on the weekend and then starting a whole heap of washing up.

Just tell him not to make such a mess. Stay in kitchen and give instructions - such as -''you only need one knife/pot/pan etc not 4'' and ''do not spill/throw flour all over floor/table/cooker ''etc.