Is it really that hard.....? 🤔

[StillGotBabyBrain]

My family is vegan, not a massive deal.

When the school has events, no vegan option, so everyone gets a bbq or food catered and we don't. Not even a dairy free alternative for hot drinks! (Primary school, high school is better).

When they go for sleepovers I get worried parents asking me what should they do, can I provide food and drinks for them...

Pubs and restaurants barely cater for adults let alone add options for the kids menu.

Went to a choir meeting the other week, nothing I could eat from the food included in my ticket price.

Am I being unreasonable thinking it's really not that difficult to provide bread and houmous or vegetable dishes? They're suitable for everyone, so isn't a waste of food! Blows my mind.

LOL, it's easy to win an argument with a straw man, isn't it?

Possibly I would invite a vegan kid to a sleepover for one, as it only involves adapting one dish but would think twice about inviting them to a party, or a sleepover where was having a lot of other kids who might have health-related dietaries.

To be honest, I've never met a vegan kid so it's not dilemma I've been faced with or honestly expect to encounter until the late-teen years when they can probably prepare food for themselves.

Also I'm not rude, so no, I wouldn't say "I'm not catering to your minority belief, your food is trash and I'm not interested".

I'd say "I'm afraid I'm not much of a vegetarian cook and my own kids are picky enough as it is, so I'd really appreciate it if you could send Aurora to the party with a little plate of something you know she likes and that fits her diet."

I happily would - and do- serve up vegetarian meals but not vegan.

And honestly I have no plans or desire to do so.

I’m actively trying to eat more veggie meals but I won’t be doing vegan meals if it has to involve substitutes of any kind. If a meal naturally turns out to be vegan then great but I’m not skipping eggs, butter, milk, cheese, cream etc.

Fair play to those who are happy to eat vegan but I absolutely won’t be. I think aiming for more veggie meals or even aiming to go pescatarian is a reasonable middle goal.

Yes, If everyone could just cut back on animal products if would help.

A vegetarian diet isn’t that healthy and it’s worrying that you feel the need to add butter, cheese, cream etc.

I think you need to lower your expectations, might be because I've been vegan for 20 years and there really was fuck all available then compared to now. Expect nothing and anything more is a bonus.

Some people (as this thread demonstrates) are complete arseholes about the subject, others will go out of their way to accommodate you, it's very mixed. Lots of people don't know how to cook very well and rely on animal products for flavour. It is usually easier for you as an experienced vegan to sort your own food out than it is for a non vegan to wrap their head around it and come up with something worth eating. Or they might have too many other things to do for their event.

If you're paying for a meal or it's a school event, contact them well in advance and I find people are usually willing to sort something with some guidance.

Sometimes I feel like I live in a parallel universe in my own little part of the world. My kids go to a vegetarian primary school and no one ever would refuse to cook for a vegan friends, why would you? Why would you alienate people like that?
Vegan cooking really isn't hard. If my kids have friends coming over I tend to make, (regardless of whether they're vegan or not)
Bean chilli
Daal
Veggie nuggets and wedges (as a treat)
Or lentil Bolognese
Or just nice tomato salad with ciabatta
It's not hard to get a block of vegan cheese in or keep some nutritional yeast in the cupboard for guests.
It's not hard to look up food which is unintentionally vegan such as oreos, biscuit spread, jammy dodgers etc and have them in the cupboard too.
It's not even very hard to bash up some vegan biscuits, melt it with vegan butter, spread it in a dish, chop some banana up over it, use vegan condensed milk to make a caramel sauce and add some whipped soy cream to make a banoffee pie. No more effort than to make a cake or non vegan desert.
As for school events well all of ours are vegan and no one complains. As a meat eater I don't want another shit, overcooked poor quality burger or hot dog with unseasoned chicken, all of dubious origin. And I judge those who do! Much rather have a thali of multiple flavoured rice, biryanis, daals, curries, homemade bhajis, veggie pakoras, chutneys, chapattis. It's much more inclusive too, no worries about whether it's halal or whether some faiths can't eat halal.

But oh yeah I forgot that this is Mumsnet and there's lots of people who 'don't like spice' as if spice is just pure heat rather than a collection of nuanced flavour combinations. Kids love it.
I find it bonkers that anything except animal products are considered hard work. How you are all affording to eat high quality meat daily (for every meal?) in this day I don't know. Some of you must be having some seriously rank meat products or you're not as healthy as you make out.
Animal products should be a treat. I'm on a low income and I manage to eat well without meat and dairy most of the time.
It's about knowing flavour combinations and using fresh ingredients.

A vegetarian diet isn’t that healthy and it’s worrying that you feel the need to add butter, cheese, cream etc.

You are in an extreme minority if you actually think this is true. Butter, cream, cheese, yoghurt, meat, fish, meat stocks, etc etc etc are all perfectly healthy and even beneficial in various ratios in a diet.

Of course, you can have a perfectly healthy vegetarian or vegan diet too, but you're not going to be the healthiest person around by default just because your diet is vegan.

Do you realise vegans really do the movement a huge disservice when you spout extreme and condescending stuff like "It's worrying you feel the need to add butter..." and "A vegetarian diet isn't that healthy".

Yay to vegans "killing off vegetarians", vegetarianism is such a half arsed thing and it sounds like you just do it because you don't like the taste of meat 😂

I assumed this must be an ancient zombie thread. It's 2023 - I can't remember the last time I went to any pub/restaurant where there wasn't a vegan option? In fact, I get pissed off thst there aren't any delicious vegetarian options any more, because there always seems to be a gross vegan option instead.

School events - how do you actually expect them to magic up a vegan option off a meat barbecue?! They're volunteers doing their best to cater for the masses. It's simply not always feasible to provide alternatives for every dietary/allergy requirement.

Sleepovers - assuming your kids eat pasta and tomato sauce, and toast and jam, I think those parents are being deliberately awkward.

Catering for vegetarians is easy, for vegans it's much more of a faff, you can't use many of the spreads, sauces and condiments to knock something up.
It's a niche diet so why would it be generally catered for? I suppose if you want change in school, join the committee.

I think having a kid at your house is different to a school event... for the former, parents should definitely find out their preferences and cater for them to make them feel welcome.

The schoool events might be a bit trickier if they are on a tight budget/ tight on time etc. I still think they should try if they know there are vegans/ allergies, but I can understand it a little more than the sleepovers.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all @StillGotBabyBrain. I’m actually quite amazed by all the people horrified at the thought of a meal without dairy particularly 😅

We’re not a vegan family but do have someone with a severe dairy and egg allergy and we love a good veggie based meal so we end up eating a lot of vegan food. It’s really not that difficult!

I would absolutely expect anyone paying for some type of catering to be catered for.

Surely BBQs etc are easy even with one grill?! Cook any vegan first, veggie next, then stick the meat on. Separate plates for each. And just make sure side dishes are vegan as standard?!

And to all those who wouldn’t invite a vegan child for play dates/ parties etc - that’s pretty horrific! It’s not that hard to put in a bit of effort.

I can't remember the last time I went to any pub/restaurant where there wasn't a vegan option?

@GiraffeDoor Depends where you are. I find it's a lot better down South and in larger cities. Midlands/ North/ rural areas are hit and miss depending on where you are.

Hey OP, a fellow vegan here! Not only I’m hardly ever catered for at work events but my colleagues will openly mock me. It’s like you trigger them with your lifestyle. Tbh same thing here, looks like some posters would benefit from more fibre in their diet!

Where I work we do catered events, and beforehand we'll ask for dietary requirements. The only thing we don't do is severe nut allergies, because the potential for that going wrong in a normally not nut free kitchen is too high risk.
However one thing we've noticed in the last few years, is we'll get the order through. Food for 50, 2 gluten free, one dairy free, 5 vegetarians, 4 vegans is the sort of thing we'll get.
Those separate dishes are prepared separately, as close to what everyone else has as possible, and labelled clearly.
At the end the vegan selection is often untouched, or almost untouched.
So either they're bringing their own stuff, going hungry or eating the normal stuff.

The fact is that if you choose to eat a restricted diet, it’s unreasonable to automatically expect someone else to accommodate that. I get that it’s inconvenient but for every decision we make there are consequences - and if you’re not following a mainstream diet, that’s the potential outcome. Regardless of the reason.

I agree with this. I have been on this earth for almost 64 years and have never worked with a vegan, had a friend who is a vegan, or even known a vegan. I have been to many catered events and not once have I seen food set aside for vegans - and I've not seen anyone saying they can't eat the food because they are vegan. It really is a niche diet and you can't expect everyone to cater for you when you are in such a minority.

Don't know where you are, but, where I live in the SE we are inundated with vegan restaurants/vegan options. I would also find it annoying, however, it is your personal lifestyle choice so I guess Tupperware is the way to go for you 🥦

You do understand that people will just go back to eating more meat if their vegetarianism is being killed off because the food is so horrible?

Hard to stay on your ethical high horse when you're actually celebrating people giving up 'half-arsed' vegetarianism to go back to eating meat.

Then again I guess you wouldn't sit on a horse if you're vegan.

I've done BBQs to include vegans. I buy meat alternative chicken and make vegan kebabs. I buy vegan coleslaw. Buy vegan burgers and vegan sausages. Vegan cheese incase they want cheese on their burger. Make sure there is a vegan desert and almond milk incase they want a hot drink. There are 2 vegans that come to my BBQ party. I'm spending so much money just on their food to make sure they have options. Plus all the extra prep involved. Then cooking their food first before starting to cook the meat dishes. It is a lot of work catering for vegans. Basically double the work for the host. I'm happy to do it, but to make clear, it's not easy.

pubs and restaurants barely cater

Um, yes they do. My inlaws are vegan and just about everywhere has a couple of mains they can have, and some places a lot more than that. Some cuisines are better than others though.

The dairy free milks are a minefield, it seems that every vegan has a different preferred type and brand. There are a lot of vegans where I work and the company did look at providing dairy free milk alongside the cows milk for tea and coffee but no one could agree on which one so now people bring their own.

I wouldn’t serve a plate of vegetables on its own though, that isn’t a meal. Truthfully I wouldn’t cater for a vegan either, vegetarian yes of course. Vegan is just too awkward and restrictive. And yes it is that hard and yes I CBA.

@JustAnotherUsey why not just serve everyone the vegan stuff?

"Some don't even want carrots chopped with a knife that's touched animal products in the past. I'd find that too much." I have literally NEVER met a vegan like this.

Hi OP,

No, it really is not that hard at all, especially these days with full on "plant based" sections in all supermarkets, vegan options in most chain pubs and restaurants and often independent ones too. I think unless most people have a family member who is vegan/plant-based for medical or belief reasons, they can't really get their heads around it.

I think it's great that so many people, including kids, are going vegan/"plant-based" and it seems likely a trend that will continue.

If I'm holding an event then I'm happy to go the extra mile to cater for my invitees, and I hope they'll feel comfortable and happy, and enjoy their meal!

I'm gluten free (coeliac) so not a choice . I hate it when I get lumped in with vegan/dairy free etc. it's hard enough to get decent gf dishes without removing everything else that tastes good too.
I'm surprised you don't feel catered for. Every restaurant I go to now makes a big fuss of labelling all their vegan/veggie options but often offers hardly anything gf. Be thankful your restrictions are a choice

Not sure where you live op but there’s vegan options in every pub where I am - west london.

I’ve catered for vegan friends before; it’s not that hard really although vegan cheese is disgusting.