Page 14 | Is it really that hard.....? 🤔

StillGotBabyBrain · 2023-07-24T22:23:59+00:00

My family is vegan, not a massive deal. When the school has events, no vegan option, so everyone gets a bbq or food catered and we don't. Not even a dairy free alternative for hot drinks! (Primary school, high school is better). When they go for sleepovers I get worried parents asking me what should they do, can I provide food and drinks for them... Pubs and restaurants barely cater for adults let alone add options for the kids menu. Went to a choir meeting the other week, nothing I could eat from the food included in my ticket price. Am I being unreasonable thinking it's really not that difficult to provide bread and houmous or vegetable dishes? They're suitable for everyone, so isn't a waste of food! Blows my mind.

chaosmaker · 25/07/2023 09:15

Diabetics are catered to much less and that is an actual medical condition.

Original poster

StillGotBabyBrain · 25/07/2023 09:17

bloomtoperish · 25/07/2023 05:17

I think you need to lower your expectations, might be because I've been vegan for 20 years and there really was fuck all available then compared to now. Expect nothing and anything more is a bonus.

Some people (as this thread demonstrates) are complete arseholes about the subject, others will go out of their way to accommodate you, it's very mixed. Lots of people don't know how to cook very well and rely on animal products for flavour. It is usually easier for you as an experienced vegan to sort your own food out than it is for a non vegan to wrap their head around it and come up with something worth eating. Or they might have too many other things to do for their event.

If you're paying for a meal or it's a school event, contact them well in advance and I find people are usually willing to sort something with some guidance.

Thank you. It's just frustrating sometimes. And that's why I did this, because realistically, it is not hard. But I guess everything is hard when you just don't want to do it.

This misconception that vegans only eat fake meat and our food is restrictive and poor, is mad, but I agree, lots do not know how to cook well.

And yes, complete AHs! So weird.

OP posts:

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 25/07/2023 09:17

@percypiglover that's sad. I've a friend and her daughter that are coeliac. It's really not too hard to cater, with a quick google of recipes. Must be tough also to know if someone has done it properly or if there's cross contamination

Catspyjamas17 · 25/07/2023 09:20

chaosmaker · 25/07/2023 09:15

Diabetics are catered to much less and that is an actual medical condition.

They don't need special diabetic food though, surely? They just eat normal food and manage their own blood sugar.

Original poster

StillGotBabyBrain · 25/07/2023 09:20

MrsMarieMopps · 25/07/2023 05:22

Sometimes I feel like I live in a parallel universe in my own little part of the world. My kids go to a vegetarian primary school and no one ever would refuse to cook for a vegan friends, why would you? Why would you alienate people like that?
Vegan cooking really isn't hard. If my kids have friends coming over I tend to make, (regardless of whether they're vegan or not)
Bean chilli
Daal
Veggie nuggets and wedges (as a treat)
Or lentil Bolognese
Or just nice tomato salad with ciabatta
It's not hard to get a block of vegan cheese in or keep some nutritional yeast in the cupboard for guests.
It's not hard to look up food which is unintentionally vegan such as oreos, biscuit spread, jammy dodgers etc and have them in the cupboard too.
It's not even very hard to bash up some vegan biscuits, melt it with vegan butter, spread it in a dish, chop some banana up over it, use vegan condensed milk to make a caramel sauce and add some whipped soy cream to make a banoffee pie. No more effort than to make a cake or non vegan desert.
As for school events well all of ours are vegan and no one complains. As a meat eater I don't want another shit, overcooked poor quality burger or hot dog with unseasoned chicken, all of dubious origin. And I judge those who do! Much rather have a thali of multiple flavoured rice, biryanis, daals, curries, homemade bhajis, veggie pakoras, chutneys, chapattis. It's much more inclusive too, no worries about whether it's halal or whether some faiths can't eat halal.

But oh yeah I forgot that this is Mumsnet and there's lots of people who 'don't like spice' as if spice is just pure heat rather than a collection of nuanced flavour combinations. Kids love it.
I find it bonkers that anything except animal products are considered hard work. How you are all affording to eat high quality meat daily (for every meal?) in this day I don't know. Some of you must be having some seriously rank meat products or you're not as healthy as you make out.
Animal products should be a treat. I'm on a low income and I manage to eat well without meat and dairy most of the time.
It's about knowing flavour combinations and using fresh ingredients.

When can I move to this wonderful place!

OP posts:

Lemonyfuckit · 25/07/2023 09:21

Playing devils advocate re sleepovers - it maybe requires buying say a whole carton of milk alternative / vegan spread etc for example which they don't want to as it won't otherwise get used up and will be wasted.

JaneFondue · 25/07/2023 09:22

StillGotBabyBrain · 25/07/2023 09:20

When can I move to this wonderful place!

Show quote history

Wembley🙂I love thalis too

Original poster

StillGotBabyBrain · 25/07/2023 09:25

MargaretThursday · 25/07/2023 05:49

Where I work we do catered events, and beforehand we'll ask for dietary requirements. The only thing we don't do is severe nut allergies, because the potential for that going wrong in a normally not nut free kitchen is too high risk.
However one thing we've noticed in the last few years, is we'll get the order through. Food for 50, 2 gluten free, one dairy free, 5 vegetarians, 4 vegans is the sort of thing we'll get.
Those separate dishes are prepared separately, as close to what everyone else has as possible, and labelled clearly.
At the end the vegan selection is often untouched, or almost untouched.
So either they're bringing their own stuff, going hungry or eating the normal stuff.

Have you not asked for feedback to find out why? Is it possible that your vegan options aren't great?

OP posts:

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 25/07/2023 09:26

@StillGotBabyBrain

What I'm saying is, rather than not feed the vegan kid at all, a plate of veggies or fruit would be better? If course it is not ideal, but, is better than nothing.

Now this I get. If you're going to do roast potatoes, why use goose fat if a vegan is attending? Why put the dressing on a salad that might not be appropriate, just leave it on the side. Why mix bacon in with the brussel sprouts, does the potato salad really need an egg mayonnaise. Why put butter on the corn cobs, let people put their own on. Cook the veggies first, take them out of the pan and then add meat, no extra effort but it keeps the veggies vegan friendly.

There are some really simple things that you can do to ensure the majority of the meal is vegan friendly.

Iwasafool · 25/07/2023 09:26

StillGotBabyBrain · 25/07/2023 00:15

Of course , meat eaters can eat veggie based dishes. We have an ethical belief. Would you expect other beliefs to provide food that goes against their belief, or just vegans? Eating meat is not a belief. It's just something you do.

I make sure that when kids are here they have something that I can make them, they will like.

You'd have a challenge with one of mine.

WhamBamThankU · 25/07/2023 09:27

I think it boils down to that some people are just arseholes. Both meat eaters who refuse to cater for vegans and vegans who expect ridiculous things like not to see animal products in someone's house etc. I've been a vegetarian for 35 years and I've lost count of the amount of food I've had to politely decline because it's been cooked next to meat or served on the same plate as meat. But I don't make a big deal out of it, I'd eat before I go somewhere like a family bbq or bring my own. Equally though I respect that meat eaters might want to eat meat at my house and so will offer/provide that too. It's about respect going both ways for dietary preference.

Catspyjamas17 · 25/07/2023 09:28

StillGotBabyBrain · 25/07/2023 09:20

When can I move to this wonderful place!

Show quote history

Meanwhile outside that bubble people would complain like hell to the volunteers if there were no real burgers or sausages at a school barbecue.

I always used to cook from scratch at first when DDs had little guests, but the visiting child would hardly ever eat anything unless you provided pizza or fish fingers and chips. And even then they often barely touched it.

And I think most people don't know how to cook, they just heat things up, so vegan is a bridge way too far, even making meaty spag bol from scratch is beyond them.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/07/2023 09:28

StillGotBabyBrain · 25/07/2023 09:20

When can I move to this wonderful place!

Show quote history

How do you feel about living in Central Croydon?

It's not the only Krishna Avanti school, but one of their things is that all food is vegetarian.

I can see the appeal (if they also do reliably GF food every day).

WoofWoofBeachLife · 25/07/2023 09:29

I'm going to be a total dick this morning and say unless your choice of vegan lifestyle is for allergy purposes, you should feed your own family at other people's houses. Each to their own and I don't care if you all flame me but honestly the vegan bandwagon was just as ridiculous and woke as the now gender nonsense. Some people made themselves ill with not having proper nutrition, a work colleague was constantly sickly, white, and tired.
At larger events I don't understand why there wasn't dairy free alternatives for drinks though.

WoofWoofBeachLife · 25/07/2023 09:30

Ps I've not read any other updates so aware I'm being a massive arse if your family have allergies.

RosieBurdock · 25/07/2023 09:30

If I was catering for a vegan I'd type vegan into Tesco online and buy vegan stuff from there. If I was cooking properly I'd look up vegan recipes.

MrsMiddleMother · 25/07/2023 09:31

I think if you're inviting kids to a sleepover, the least you can do is feed them! It's not difficult to look up one vegan dish to cook them so yanbu. I've always seen plenty of vegan options at restaurants and if it's a school pta bbq they're going for the easiest option to feed the masses. They're not going to want to cook vegan burgers etc on the same grill but always won't have the resources to have a separate one unfortunately.

In a similar scenario, I'm a very fussy eater and always have been. I accepted a long time ago that if I go to a buffet I'll probably only eat the bread so I make sure I eat before at home before I go.

Isittimeformynapyet · 25/07/2023 09:31

JustAnotherUsey · 25/07/2023 06:01

I've done BBQs to include vegans. I buy meat alternative chicken and make vegan kebabs. I buy vegan coleslaw. Buy vegan burgers and vegan sausages. Vegan cheese incase they want cheese on their burger. Make sure there is a vegan desert and almond milk incase they want a hot drink. There are 2 vegans that come to my BBQ party. I'm spending so much money just on their food to make sure they have options. Plus all the extra prep involved. Then cooking their food first before starting to cook the meat dishes. It is a lot of work catering for vegans. Basically double the work for the host. I'm happy to do it, but to make clear, it's not easy.

I'm like you. I always want to cater for everyone as best I can, but it is expensive!

I made a quiche for a previously vegan friend's picnic recently. She's recently reintroduced eggs into her diet, but I did buy vegan cheese and cream. It cost a lot more than normal and it started going runny in the warm weather. She and her husband had a slice each and the rest was thrown away.

Also, what is a "usey"?

Catspyjamas17 · 25/07/2023 09:35

I can easily cook vegan food (without using meat substitutes) and we often eat vegan meals as DD1 is veggie and doesn't like eggs or milk.

Fortunately she does eat cheese though. Vegan cheese is dire ultra high processed muck, like meat substitutes.

Thegoodbadandugly · 25/07/2023 09:35

I have a problem with people that force their beliefs on their children like religion or veganism I think children should have a well balanced diet and be able to choose themselves when they are older whever they want to eat a plant based diet or not, as I said the same with religion.

RosieBurdock · 25/07/2023 09:37

NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/07/2023 09:28

How do you feel about living in Central Croydon?

It's not the only Krishna Avanti school, but one of their things is that all food is vegetarian.

I can see the appeal (if they also do reliably GF food every day).

Show quote history

Croydon clock tower cafe do a nice vegan salad, if you've not tried it

Pigeon31 · 25/07/2023 09:40

It's not at all difficult if you are used to it, but will probably make life easier with the sleepovers if you write up a brief factsheet with some simple ideas (pasta etc) and remind parents that vegan means no dairy, no egg (people do forget about cheese, oddly enough).

Original poster

StillGotBabyBrain · 25/07/2023 09:40

Prettyvase · 25/07/2023 06:38

It's extraordinarily entitled behaviour to think and believe that a primary school Parent's Committee who are, at the end of the day, just a bunch of unpaid, hassled, busy, volunteer parents should put themselves out for your family despite your protestations that it can't be that hard.

How many times have you catered for or put yourself out there to help other people's families at this school or any other schools op?!

Perhaps stop moaning and offer to help out and make the vegan options yourself?!

Win win! 😁

I love when people comment that clearly haven't read the thread.

Of course I have helped and provided vegan options and amazingly, they always go down a treat and people come up to me in amazement that vegan food isn't shit. I however, volunteer for two other organisations already and have 2 jobs...... don't take on anymore tasks so I do a shit job of it!!!

Honestly, some of you sound like you just hate vegans and have this preconception that vegan food is shit 🤣🤣

Someone somewhere said vegan bread falls apart!!! Most bread is vegan...... so many things are vegan naturally.

OP posts:

justdrink · 25/07/2023 09:43

Thegoodbadandugly · 25/07/2023 09:35

I have a problem with people that force their beliefs on their children like religion or veganism I think children should have a well balanced diet and be able to choose themselves when they are older whever they want to eat a plant based diet or not, as I said the same with religion.

No one is forcing here though. The OP is just saying about considering meat free options, which just isn't something I can get worked up about, personally.

I feel more offended by supermarkets promoting junk food and sweets to my kids, or companies labeling things as 'healthy' when in fact they are UPF, than someone asking us to consider cooking more vegetables (which is the essence of what she is saying).

Randomnamehere · 25/07/2023 09:44

GHxx · 24/07/2023 23:57

I’m a vegetarian (have been all my life) but I hate the fact it’s 2023 and I’m still having to act like it’s a massive favour for me to actually be able to eat something when I go places. My number one pet hate over and above the lack of actual stuff I can eat is that when there is anything veggie at maybe a family bbq, friend’s house etc it is guaranteed to always be rammed up against meat on the same plate if it’s a buffet set up. Why if I don’t eat meat would I want to eat small pieces of meat or have meat juices all over my dinner? 🙈 I take things with me to everything I go to to make it simple but usually they’re cast aside and not used. It gives me so much anxiety! I went to my now husband’s family’s house for the first time for a bbq when we were first together and they had got corn on the cobs, veggie burgers etc but proceeded to cook them on the same bbq touching all the meat. I was having to politely smile and say thanks while frantically wondering how to get out of the situation without seeming rude!

I went to an afternoon tea hen do the other week that you had to pay to attend for an afternoon tea. I was happy to pay and knew there would most likely be nothing I could actually eat at it but would pay my money and say nothing. The sister of the bride asked on the group chat if anyone had any dietary requirements and I said veggie but there would be something I could eat. Made it as low key as possible, no extra effort required (but thought surely the place will provide a separate plate of food for me)! There were other people in the chat then making silly requests about exactly how they’d like their scones or sandwich etc which just seems so trivial when they at least could eat something.

Sure enough, turned up for an afternoon tea to be sat down to us all where ham sandwiches rubbed up against anything vegetarian and an announcement was made that there were ‘lots of veggie options there’ 😃 It’s that same awful feeling of not wanting to draw any attention to yourself as you put one piece of crusty bread onto your plate that I have at every buffet I’ve ever been to! Slowly walking back to your seat trying not to make it look like you haven’t been able to eat anything in case you look rude but just assuming ‘oh well, il need to starve again then’ 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Sorry to hear that. Where do you live? Not UK I presume, as I had similar problems as a vegetarian in the UK in 1993, but now in 2023 things are really easy.

Hopefully wherever you are will get better too, and hopefully it won't take 30 years!