Step son not coming over

[lanadeeroy]

We have been having issues with stepson since our wedding a year ago. I think it mainly stemmed from a few issues we have had with his mum, she started demanding more money and things became tense between us all.

Long story short he was incredibly rude & disrespectful to me recently, the worst its ever been. Dh told him to apologise but he said no.

We are due to have him tomorrow he has said he doesn't want to which is fine, but now DH is pandering to him and offering to take him out for some 1 on 1 time so that he can see him but ss doesn't have to come over.

AIBU to think that is the worst thing to do? Surely this gives the impression that he doesn't actually have to apologise and that he in some way isnt at fault? It's as if DH is rewarding him.

Wow. YABVU. Of course your husband should spend some one on one time with his child. Don’t turn this into a battle. What matters is that relationships are repaired.

also, If SS feels you have been horrible to his mother it’s not surprising he wants some space from you.

And honestly, him siding with you over this is not going to make anything better. If you've had a falling out with the SS - and it sound like their ongoing friction - then not coming to the house where you are sounds beneficial for both of you. If you go hardline on this, it makes you sound like the problem and like the SS might have a point. Facilitate their relationship and be glad that you're spared further conflict.

Access to a parent is not a 'reward'. It's a basic right.