Sorry - this is LONG.
I have two very good friends. They are old school mates so have known each other 40+ years. We met when I worked with one of them about 35 years ago and she introduced me to her mate. We all got on very well and eventually ended up with our kids at the same schools so we shared things like school runs/soccer runs etc. we know each others parents and siblings, have supported one another through birth, bereavements, cancer, divorce etc. Our kids are grown up and married now but we are still close.
The two of them are like sisters so like a lot of sisters they quite often argue. They blow up, yell and shout and then are best mates again a few days later. I'm not confrontational so tend not to be involved in these arguments.
About 3 months ago something changed. They had a really major disagreement (the reason was something ridiculously silly but obviously triggered deep rooted resentments for them) and they still aren't speaking. It's very sad and is obviously threatening the joint family trip planned for August BH weekend.
Both of them have separately spoken to me about all this. How sad they are, how much they miss the other one, what a big hole it's left in their lives etc but it's all so serious and difficult they can't see a way past it.
One thing that one of them said last week whilst crying on my shoulder is niggling at me. She (I'll call her Susie) said something like "I'm so glad you have never heard all the terrible things X has said about you'. I brushed it aside at the time , I said I didn't want to know, that we all bitch about our mates sometimes and if they don't know what's said then there is no harm done.
But it has planted seeds of doubt in my mind. I can imagine some of the negative things X might say about me. They would probably be stronger versions of various things she has said to my face over the years ( I'm vain and extravagant, not sufficiently interested in politics and sit on the fence too much) I know I am equally guilty of ranting about behind her back her on occasion and I know once it's off my chest it's over.
But what if it's worse than that? What if she genuinely has said worse things about me? Or did Susie just say this to manipulate me into getting off the fence and siding with her?
This is all so ridiculous and high school, but it's bothering me. We were such good friends and such a team and now I'm not sure where I stand.
I think I've posted this just to get it off my chest as I don't want to talk to other friends about this and draw them into the whole sorry mess but I'm going to leave the voting open as I am conflicted and would like the hive opinion.
IABU - Susie was sincere in saying what she did. She was trying to warn me about X
YANBU - Susie was deliberately trying to stir things up and get me on her side.