Definition of unprotected sex

[rosetintedmemories2023]

According to the WHO, infertility is a disease of the male or female reproductive system defined by the failure to achieve a pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sexual intercourse.

So would using methods like the withdrawal method and the rhythm method count as 'unprotected sex '

YABU- it counts as 'protected' sexual intercourse.
YANBU- it doesn't count as protected sexual intercourse.

I have spoken to fertility experts and they say that using these methods don't count as 'trying' but yet at the same time, mainstream medical advice is that only condoms or female contraceptives count as birth control. So how can you not be trying but yet not using birth control? Are you in some sort of limbo?

Disclaimer - been using rhythm method and withdrawal for 8 years with DH (he does have a history of epilepsy which he is seeing a neurologist about). We don't use condoms during fertile period.

No form of contraception except absinence is 100% reliable. However, if you've been taking steps to avoid pregnancy, it's illogical to conclude that, because you have avoided pregnancy, you must be infertile. Withdrawal and rhythm method obviously work better than no 'contraception' at all, for people in societies with no access to alternatives. Have you decided to try for a baby and you want to speed up the ivf referral process?

I don't think you are infertile or at least you have no proof.

We had ten years of regular sex with no protection and DH coming and we had no pregnancy hence the IVF. Only this year did we get a natural positive which ended in a miscarriage. Took ten years of using no contraception for that to happen though.

@rosetintedmemories2023 I am thinking of TTC next year or in 2025 but if i am already infertile, maybe i should just start trying sooner.

There is really no way to know if you have any fertility problems. You could start trying and become pregnant in the first month, or it could take years. Not becoming pregnant while using natural family planning and withdrawal isn't a sign of infertility.

DH and I used the withdrawal method for years and I never got pregnant. Then when we started TTC I got pregnant quickly all three times. So based purely on my own personal experience I'd say YABU.

Just start TTC. I can't think of anything worse than stopping my DH at the best bit of sex.

If you’ve been to see fertility specialist unless they’ve done actual tests surely they’ve just said TTC by not pulling out and then see.

A very crude run of the stats suggests that the odds of getting pregnant while having sex using no contraception for one year are pretty similar to the odds of getting pregnant using a method of contraception that's 80% effective for 8 years.

It's complicated by the theory that some men are much more likely to be fertile pre-ejaculation than others - so either you'd get pregnant in year 1 using withdrawal or you'd never get pregnant at all, but I would suspect that the odds of you having fertility problems are higher than average, and your plans to bring TTC forward may be sensible unless there are really good reasons to avoid conceiving in 2024.

I am not sure if I'm fully understanding?

Are you worried you (or DP) are infertile as you've been using the rhythm method with no 'accidental pregnancy'?

As I understand the rhythm method is a method of contraception, it's just not as effective as other methods.

I have a friend who used the withdrawal method for years and became pregnant as soon as they stopped.

I also have one who successfully had two children but no accidental pregnancies using the rhythm method for several years.

They work to a certain degree if you’re reliable with it and lucky with it, but are not as effective as other forms of protection and shouldn’t be used if pregnancy would be an awful outcome. In both these instances having a baby before they actually planned to wouldn’t have been awful or wildly out of their plans. If not ready for pregnancy use more reliable contraceptives (although I say that as someone who got pregnant whilst consistently taking the pill so that didn’t work!). If actually ttc - don’t pull out!

You won't know if you have fertility problems until you actively start trying for a baby. You might have been using the rhythm method effectively if you are a textbook ovulator and coupled with withdrawal there is a chance that his sperm have never got anywhere near your eggs to try. Even with regular perfectly timed sex it can take couples months to concieve, the chances of pregnancy each month are only something like 20% at the best of times with everything done correctly!

With family planning, if you absolutely definitely want to have children I tend to think it's always a good idea to start trying earlier rather than later, unless there are good reasons eg relationship is too new, or trying to get a qualification, pay down debt etc.

Start trying as soon as it wouldn't be a disaster. That way, if you need more time, no harm done.

literally same

This!!

So would using methods like the withdrawal method and the rhythm method count as 'unprotected sex '

Withdrawal and the rhythm method are basically selective abstinence, not contraception - they are not the same thing. 'Unprotected' sex means sex without barrier or hormonal contraception. So, while you might be trying to avoid pregnancy with withdrawal or tracking your cycle, you are still having unprotected sex.

However, obviously this would be a grey area when it came to investigating fertility. If someone had unprotected sex with no withdrawal or ovulation calendar, eg, three times in two years, and didn't get pregnant, that wouldn't mean they were infertile. But if they'd shagged every night for those two years and no pregnancy had occurred, then that certainly might indicate a fertility issue. Similarly, someone who had unprotected sex for two years but only at specific times, or without their partner coming inside them, would not necessarily have any fertility issues.

If you have fertility concerns, then you need to discuss your specific case and specific history and the nature of your sex life and contraceptive methods (or lack of them) over the past few years with your doctor, really. It's not really black and white.

You absolutely do not fit the definition of 'infertile'. You could very easily be a perfectly fertile couple who have just been lucky that your fairly risky methods of family planning have been successful for you.

Thanks @rosetintedmemories2023 . I didn't know that! (Although our baby making days are over).

Unprotected sex to me is no condoms.