Distressed children

[Jennybeans401]

My youngest dd has been subject to racial bullying at school, we are mixed race and she attends a small school where she says she "stands out" (primary y 3).

My middle child is slightly older at the same school and has every day struggled to attend due to anxiety and tells me people making fun of her or she is excluded from play. I've talked to the school many times HT is v good and tries to help.

School has so many very new teachers and I don't know if this has helped/made it worse. I spoke to some other parents at a charity event a few days ago they reported their children also very distressed and bullied by others. I was surprised. There were about a quarter of the class which to me is high. Severe anxiety like one parent told me her ds hits himself, bites himself and refuses school.Another mum said her ds would try to hide himself in the car if was do bad.

I think it's strange. AIBU to think this is more than normal?

Sorry to hear this op, no it definitely doesn’t sound normal People say kids are cruel but that definitely doesn’t help. Sorry I’ve nothing for you but to say are you set on keeping them there? Also are they on summer holidays yet?

Yes we are on summer holidays now and all dvs are already better. I thought it was just us who had the bullying problems but it is much bigger problem

This is not OK! Children should feel safe in school and not singled out. Please, please make an appointment to speak to the Head teacher about this. The school has a duty to protect your child so that they feel valued and included. It sounds like they turn a blind eye to children being mean to each other, which needs to be stamped out.

Good they have the break and yes I’d agree with Northern mum. Sorry you’re all going through this

The HT has always been helpful but sometimes it's the class teacher who is not responding. Although it annoyed me when the HT said "they're all lovely girls" when talking about girls who blanked my dd completely. Middle dd is ND so this is often used as an excuse for her being sensitive

Report the incidents in writing every time they happen, so you have a paper trail.

Download a copy of the anti bullying/behaviour policy from the school website.

Go through it line by line and make sure that the school are in fact following their own policy.

The headteacher sounds ineffectual.

If bullying is to thst level the school is not good enough and neither is the head teacher. You need to record incidents, complain everytime and follow up for what action is taken. If it doesn't improve if complain to board of governors and ofsted. You could also involve police.

I would move school. No way would I be sending my children to a school like this.

That's so bad! I hoped it wasn't a thing anymore, but I was insulted racially by a 7 year old the other day 😅 I was shocked such a little being held such animosity... I thought schools were teaching diversity and inclusion.

But the school should be acting. My friend is a teacher and any racial comments are meant to be logged and investigated immediately. She's had to do it with a child on an ambiguous comment due to protocol, so why your children hasn't been sorted immediately it is not good!

All racial incidents in schools have to be formally recorded and reported. Do you know if this has happened?

Can you possibly get the parents you spoke to involved and call a meeting. There is probably a small number of kids making life awful for everyone else. In y school it was just 5 boys in a class of 30 being awful. Perhaps if you apply some pressure as a group and keep escalating complaints it may force them to help. have they spoken to the children’s parents who are doing the bullying?

Sadly it seems that because my 2 dds are waiting to be assessed for ASD the school are slower to act when it comes to bullying.They are sympathetic but I get the feeling that they are seen as "sensitive". I feel it leaves them very vulnerable.

There are no school places available locally so I feel stuck. They git "inadequate" from ofsted a few years ago but were supposed to have turned it round. Behaviour was seen as good in report though.

Keep looking for a different school.

I am a supply teacher, I go to different schools all of the time. Some of them are terrible where they can't even line up without hurting each other. Then then next day I am in a different school where someone accidentally bumps into someone and it's a major incident.

Having gone through this Op you have my sympathies. The school are failing in their duty of care towards your child. Hold them to account, Be one of those mums who will not let go until action is taken.

That's not right, a neurodiverse kid should be extra supported socially, not dismissed.

Is there some implicit racism going on from the teachers, holding weird beliefs about black kids? We had this at a college local to us. The black kids had to work twice as hard, be twice as polite to be treated half as nice as the white kids were, and they still got moaned at. For eg I witnessed a white kid forgot their pass and get a temporary one, then a black kid came in an hour later and had also forgotten their pass and was berated and told to go home to get it. It's lot of little touches like that which build up a culture that the peers tap into.

Your head is NOT great, they're shit
Your girls are being jg racially bullied and he's telling you they're actually nice girls and it's just your girls' ND that's the issue.

Agree I'd start making a paper trail and escalating it whilst keeping on looking for another school

I've been recording it in a book. There are the bigger things then litgle things.Eldest dd seems to have problems in class with the people on her table taking her pencils or equipment. They sharpen pencils until they break or don't give her things back.

If my dd is doing her work a boy next to her snatches the glue stick or a pencil out of her hand. Break and lunch times are worse. Seems no respect for other people and teachers not checking behaviour

If my dd is doing her work a boy next to her snatches the glue stick or a pencil out of her hand. Break and lunch times are worse. Seems no respect for other people and teachers not checking behaviour

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Some schools have this constant low level stuff going on absolutely all of the time. And it's hard to deal with because at any given moment there will be four incidents like that as well as all of the other things that are going on in any classroom.

It's like there in a culture of meanness. They can't share the pencils, they grab things off each other. They aren't happy. It's like they are against each other.

I always know I'm in for a tough day when I ask them to make a little name label when they arrive in the morning and they snatch up the pencils from the pot so nobody else can use them. Then the next day at another school some child will say 'oh Bob will be good at this as he has lovely writing' or 'here is the green from our table Jane as I know green is your favourite colour'