to expect my sisters to have som e input into what we do with OUR mother on Mother's Day instead of everyone relying on me to organsie something FFS.

[MehgaLegs]

I love my mum - she does loads for us and I see her atleast twice every week. I love my MIL - she too does lots and we see her regularly. In the past we have always all got together on Mother's Day for a meal, or tea or an outing of some sort, usually one that I have organised/booked or cooked. It's knackering - I'm tired - I AM A MUM TOO - it's my bloody day and I want to do what I want.

My Dad has just phoned to see what we are doing?

My sisters do not have children, they are not mothers, they have a really nice house and a kitchen and food, they could cook, organise, arrange something.

I'm not going to do it this year - I'm not.

Message withdrawn

Why not organise something with your mum and MIL and don't invite them?

when you're done kicking yours up the arse can you nip round and get my lazy bastard brother too please

horrible thing is I'll spend ages sorting homemade stuff with dd for her, drive 2 farking hours for lunch, then home again and whatever we do will never be as good as what brother and nephew give her - golden boys

but I think am touching on a whole other issue here

stick to your guns, don't do it, I gave in already but if it wasn't for me she would have nothing and she is very ill so couldn't do it

have also had to sort out something for MIL as dh useless male too

Go out for a meal with your mum and MIL, mention to your sisters and up to them if they come. A girl's long lunch sounds lovely. As long as your DH doesn't mind not doing something with his mum. Perhaps he could send a bunch of flowers along with you for his mum. And that way you get a treat.

I am so tired though effie - I would like a quiet day at home with DH and my boys, a walk, a nice tea - we never get to do that these days. I have strated turning down party invites as there is a birthday or two or three every weekend at the moment. On the party free weekends my sisters will inevitably pop round, one of them will get stressed with DS2 who is lovely but lively, they can't cope with it and forget he is 6.

I actually find having my family here really hard work at the moment.

I wish there were other grandchildren to tak e the pressure off of us for a bit.

I wish I had the guts to tell them all to back off but they will be hurt.

I am in the same situation and that includes birthdays xmasses every bloody occasion under the sun Not doing it this year as I have had a very bad virus and can't be arsed!I am spending it with dp and ds its just another day to me

Could you invite your mum and MIL for tea and do a nice afternoon tea with (bought) cakes and (M&S) scones? That way if your sisters want to see your mum they can do so earlier in the day or in the evening, plus you get the chance of a lie-in .

I appear to have opened an entirely new can of worms here .

DHs family moved to Fiji when he was a baby to escape a similar situation, DH has mentioned it before - it looks mighty tempting at the moment.

ok then, this is where Dh has to step up. Tell him to phone your dad and say he has arranged a wuiet day for you with just him and dc and they have to sort it out themselves this year, you can see your mum during the week once you're a bit more rested

Good plan effie - tea would be ok (I have been baking as we have a garden full of chickens laying non stop at the moment)

I could put a time limit on it say come between 3-5, keep it simple.

That too sounds good dizzy.

After speaking to my dad this morning i think he kind of got the essage and said he would see if he could book us in for ea somewhere (stately home type thing) I'm sure it's too late though.

might not be, we only booked yesterday
fiji sounds great

Message withdrawn

well said pelafina

Thank you pelafina

By the way Pelafina - I have now looked at your profile and am extremely broody - he is gorgeous!

YANBU AT ALL!!! I've had similar discussion with my dh re MiL, re "oh what are we doing this year etc etc?" Answer "I'm spending the day with you and dd (and I only have 1!) cos I'm a Mum too now!"

I'll send my Mum a card and give her a pressie when I see her, she'll be fine, MiL is a different matter howver, but I REFUSE to spend Mothering Sunday with her.

I'm going to be selfish this year, just for once and you should be too

Message withdrawn

How is it that the mums who have young children and work the hardest always seem to get missed out on Mothers day, and the older mums who do not work so hard, ie kids have left home, etc seem to get all the perks.

Can remember MIL moaning one mothers day when we had not visited her (lived 400 miles away). She was dumbstruck when dh said - well kitty is a mum too, and deserves a rest on mothering sunday.

YANBU - have a lovely day with your dh and your kids.

Big hugs for being such a nice person.

I give up.

I phoned sisters last night. Innocently asked what they had planned for mum this w/end. Nothing!

Phoned my mum to test waters, really don't want to spend whole afternoon at my parents' but dad has decided he will cook a big roast and we are all to be there at 12.30

Tell my mum DH and I were planning a quiet day with boys, she went silent then said Oh OK well, we'll talk again tomorrow, let me know what DH decides (not fair - putting pressure on DH).

She phones me this morning - no questions just "We'll see you Sunday, 12.30 Dad's cooking, it will be lovely, your sisters are doing desert we can put our feet up and relax"

Noooooo! I can't put my feet up and relax because I will be on edge with DS2 and my sis and DS3 and my dad.

Why,why, why am I so weak? God, i wish I could just stand up and say no, we are not coming. I can't, the guilt is crap, I want to move away.

Sorry, rambling old rant there, needed to get it out.