To tell you that if you're overweight and worried about going on holiday, don't be!

[SpeedbirdSquawker]

I'm almost 24 stone and a size 24. I'm lucky enough to be able to get away a few times a year, but my weight has always held me back doing things. I know other overweight people have similar fears, so I was hoping to alleviate those with this post.

Firstly I worry about the flight and if i'm going to fit into the seat. I always need a seatbelt extender (with Ryanair, not so much with other airlines), but I fit in the seat absolutely fine! I use the toilet onboard and have room to manoeuvre.

When I have been away, the beach is always full of the people with perfect bodies, as is the complex pool and i've always avoided the beach (for fear of looking like a beached whale) and i've only used the pool when it's empty, first thing or just before sunset.

I don't eat out at restaurants because I thought people might judge me scoffing my face.

Well, this holiday, I thought to fuck with it all. I ate out in restaurants. I went to the beach and even stripped off to my swimwear and went in the sea. It was liberating! I sunbathed on the beach. I went in the pool at busy times. You know what, people didn't bat an eyelid? I got friendly hellos and people were more busy with themselves and the people they were with to even look at me and if they did, to give me a second glance.

I know that being overweight can put some people off living life to the full, but please just do it.

And who is pretending that? Who's on the thread saying the optimum ideal body everyone should aim for is an obese one? Where have you read that? Because it's not happening, and your need to insert that comment shows you don't mean the first part at all. No one is saying hooray, let's all put on ten stone and go on holiday!!! Is that honestly how you're reading the thread?

Nobody is saying it's great to be overweight.

They're saying it's great that OP enjoyed her holiday without fear of having it spoiled by the logistics of her size, or people who think her weight is any of their business.

If this is objectionable to you, you might ask why you don't think fat people deserve to enjoy their holidays. Because that's literally what the topic is.

Whatever the answer is, it won't be because you're concerned for their health.

Putting someone down and insulting them very, very rarely inspires them to change....its more likely to just make them feel even more shit about themselves and give up entirely. You're also not telling them anything they don't already know - we all know being outside the ideal weight range (both under and over weight) isn't healthy - but it's not going to change overnight and in the mean time people should be allowed to just enjoy themselves and be happy! Lifes too bloody short to spend it trying to please random strangers.

Well done OP! I'm not overweight but at the grand old age of 37 I have never dared to wear a bikini in public. Last time I went to the beach I sat completely covered up because I feel so much, I'm not sure shame is the right word but so much negativity towards my body. I got 'horrendous stretch marks' as the lovely midwife pointed out when I was pregnant with my ds at 21 and I don't think I've ever felt confident about my body since.

Saying fuck it to what people think and just enjoying your body is something I would love to achieve before I am 40, so seriously kudos to you, it isn't easy.

And those of you saying 24 stone isn't healthy-don't you think the OP is more than aware of this given that she seems a charming and intelligent self aware lady - what do you expect her to do - take a vow of no holidays until she loses 10 stone?? I for one am glad she had a great time-

I love this 💙 until after DC2 I was always a size 10/12 and now in the last year have gone up to a 14 & 12st. I feel so disgusting. I am going on holiday next week and to be honest wasn’t even looking forward to it. I don’t want to take my kids swimming or sit in my cozzie on the beach.

thanks for this 💚 I’m gonna try!

And I’m so glad you had a lovely holiday!

I'm pleased for you op, sounds like you had a great time!

I'm size 8 but still have my hang ups, I'm too busy worrying what I look like to be judging anyone else!!

You might believe your own twaddle but I certainly don't and I don't imagine you're pulling the wool over many eyes on this thread. You're exactly the ilk that pile onto a thread about weight to pour scorn and disdain. Bit like a dementor only a bit meaner.

You don't give a fig for people, whether they live or die, just that they dare to post something that triggers your little brain cell to retort with whatever pointless thoughts are pinging about in your head.

You're fooling nobody.

@Crikeyalmighty - well said! Precisely what I was thinking.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe you genuinely sound unhinged tbh . Your responses are absolutely ridiculous. Telling somebody they don’t care if others live or die or that they are “ilk” or a “dementor” with “little brain cells”. You sound extremely angry tbh. It’s a public forum so people are allowed to give an opinion, not everyone has to celebrate others being morbidly obese and the fact that society has an increasing problem with obesity which is putting massive pressure on health services is a problem.
BTW the op is absolutely right to live her life and wear and do what she wants regardless of size , I don’t care what people looks like and honestly very few people are judging others on how they look as that is incredibly shallow but people are allowed to voice what they think re the huge increase in overweight population. You can be happy that someone is confident in their skin and that they had a fantastic holiday and worried re a trend that isn’t healthy-whether you like to hear that or not. If I saw a child or person or lots of people who were clearly emaciated due to drug use or lack of nutrition people might be genuinely concerned if this was a growing trend , you straight away coming to the conclusion that it’s because everyone else is superior or fat shaming is ridiculous.

But your responses on this thread were so silly, can you not see that?

why did you think everyone supporting the OP must be fat?

your posts are along the lines of “concern trolling”, whether you like it or not, and that is something that actually increases the likelihood of people getting fatter. If you’re so “concerned” about that, why don’t you change your behaviour?

It doesn’t increase the likelihood of others getting fat, that’s absolutely ridiculous and such a cop out. Anyway I’m off … bizarre responses tbh

Well since the issue was raised a couple of decades ago, and the “concern” about obesity has been everywhere and everyone including fat people is very aware of it, how have things gone? Have people got thinner or fatter? Maybe it’s time for a different way to do things, if there is a real need to avoid people getting fatter?

If you do pop back, please do respond to why you think only fat people would support the OP’s attitude? I find it intriguing and want to know the logic

I wish I'd read this post a week ago as I worried myself sick about coming on holiday a week ago but, like you, my fears have largely been groundless.
I know this isn't necessary but for anybody who is dreading asking for a seatbelt extender, you can actually buy and use your own for about £11 off Amazon. I always take mine as it removes that one fear about tugging uselessly on the seatbelt.
Have a great holiday @SpeedbirdSquawker

Nobody on this thread is celebrating obesity. That isn't what's happening.

If you meant what you say about being glad the OP could enjoy her holiday, you wouldn't add in the rest. If you really cared from a health perspective, you would listen to what people are saying about the reality of weight loss and pay attention rather than dismiss it all as 'bizarre responses'. The bizarre response on the thread is yours, that can't let a fat person have a moment of peace.

You talk about trends, and yes obesity is a trend in that it's on the rise but it isn't aspirational. People don't want to be obese, or to stay obese and all the plus-size models and seatbelt extenders in the world won't change that, don't worry.

You might think it makes logical sense that we should make fat people unhappy because if they're unhappy with their weight they will just eat less and move more and the problem will be solved. I totally see that simplistic black and white thinking is very appealing to believe. But I'm sorry to say it doesn't work like that. Fat people are unhappy with their weight, even when they accept it and allow themselves to enjoy life anyway. But weight loss is hard; I'm sorry if you think it's just about lazy greedy people having no willpower. For an obese person to lose and maintain weight loss long term is very, very difficult. I know you think it's simple. But your understanding here is wrong, and you should believe what other posters are telling you.

Fat acceptance is not the cause of rising levels of obesity. Fat people having confidence and being allowed to lead normal lives is not the problem. These are not the things that make people fatter, or make more people fat. Your brilliant strategy of popping up on forums to remind fat people that they shouldn't exist is, I'm sorry to tell you, not helping solve the problem that you're so worried about. So maybe resist the urge next time?

@SpeedbirdSquawker thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm going on holiday next week with a group of lovely but very slim friends - even though I have known them for years it's hard to overcome the inner fear that they'll be judging my flabby body. I tend to cover up on the beach because I burn so easily but I want to enjoy the water, and also enjoy going out in a pretty dress in the evening. It's not just my weight, I have very prominent varicose veins so tend to keep my legs covered.

This post was just what I needed to read! Fuck it, I'm going to celebrate life and not worry about being 'beach ready' (hideous phrase). May you go on inspiring other women to feel confident about their bodies, and I hope I get to sit next to you on a plane one day, you sound lovely.

Oh, and can I thank @amusedbush for making me laugh so hard that the cat woke up!

Upsetrethis, I truly don't rate your opinion since you came onto the thread with the sole purpose of causing upset for no reason and because you're incapable of reading in context. I'm very tired of reading 'faux concern' in yours and other posters' diatribes about obesity and weight. Whatever it is that compels you to do that could perhaps do with some therapy to address it? Or don't.

Every time I see posts from this sub-set/ilk of posters who feign 'caring' with only 'best interests', I'll pull them up on it, it's transparent spite, no more, no less.

One of the surest twat detectors on MN is spotting the phrase 'celebrating obesity'.

Fat people doing the things thin people do, without shame or self loathing, is not celebrating obesity. Would you rather someone who's a size 24 shut themselves away until they were a size 10, or wore a hair shirt on the beach? Would that be more appropriate? Do fat people not deserve to feel happy or comfortable in their skin? Why is that only the right of thin people?

You are not concerned about anyone's health. If that were the case, you'd understand the MH implications of the words you say and the bullying you do. And you'd also understand that perpetuating self-loathing isn't going to make anyone lose weight. If someone posted on MN that their OH was bullying them into going on a diet, the OH would be rightly vilified. That's what you're doing. Why do you think it's acceptable for you to do that?

@Upsetrethis

Would you rather someone who's a size 24 shut themselves away until they were a size 10, or wore a hair shirt on the beach?

Of course she would.

She thinks a fat person enjoying their holiday is "celebrating obesity", so clearly they must either not go on holiday, or if they do, they must not have fun.

No it does increase the risk because your words and attitude is upsetting and hurtful to some people and often over eating and binge eating episodes are triggered by stress or upset.

It can also make some people less active and stay in more because they start thinking everyone thinks like you - and being sedentary is not conducive to weight loss

I was slim around 9stone (size 6-10) for most of my adult life but it’s fat acceptance that gave me the courage to lose weight when it went up to 12 stone (I’m short) in my early 20s and then again more recently in my 30s when it went up to 13 stone during lockdown putting me in the obese range. Because it made me able to go to the gym no matter how many slim bodies I was surrounded by, go out for walks and keep active through socialising when my back, belly and face especially felt huge and extra chubby. It wasn’t only about losing weight it was about improving fitness as I was now puffing and panting after a flight of stairs or a short walk during the pandemic.

But if the fat person shuts themselves away, she won't get to judge them and that would be sad for her. Better that they do go on holiday, but feel shit about it so that they can be seen and scorned in the interests of their health ofc and if at any moment they enjoy themselves and feel ok, we can condemn them for celebrating obesity. I think that's the best public health strategy tbh, it will definitely resolve the problem.

Why do you think many people overeat? Because they like themselves so much, feel so confident and people are so kind to them?

If you didn't know this very basic fact, you're much more of a menace to public health than an overweight woman in a holiday resort.

We tried your approach of shame, denial and consternation, and everyone got fatter.

You want to improve people's health? Shut yourself away.

I’m glad you had a lovely time OP but I hope you were sitting next to people you knew on the plane, not strangers.

As much as airlines are partly to blame for making seats smaller I also find that some ‘people of size’ have no idea how much they intrude on their neighbour’s personal space.