Anyone else sometimes feel a bit invisible?

[Grumpywasthebestcarebear]

Parents over this week, prepared meals etc, planned it all, shopped. Dh does the bbq, praise all day long about how amazing the burgers are, best they’ve ever had etc. Constantly singing his praises, or Dds..I sound jealous..I’m not, I just frequently feel I fade into the background and wonder what difference it would be me not actually being here

God I wish I was more invisible!

No, I don’t feel like that

then again, I’m not a martyr

so in the scenario you described I’d say laughingly “hey, some praise for the principal cook please!!”

then again, my parents wouldn’t need to be nudged in this way anyway

and my dh would pipe up “hey, I just lit the bbq I can’t take all the glory!”

Yes, it's fantastic! Once you're over 50, everyone ignores you and it's flipping brilliant 🤣

@Beachside82 I’m not a martyr, no one said the things your family & Dh would

@Hbh17 45, so must be edging closer to complete invisibility

Yes, me. I feel very invisible. It sort of started when I had my children. My parents absolutely adore them, which is lovely of course. I could see early on that my parents were no longer coming to see me but to see the kids. The DC were lavished with attention and praise. I mean, I'm not expecting praise but it just would be nice for someone to ask me how I am, how am I doing, what's happening with me. My DC are teens now. My parents think the world of my DH too (though they're not the ones who live with him!).

@GoodVibesHere Yes exactly the same here…I’m definitely bottom of the pile

So why didn’t you?

”hey some glory for the principal cook please over here!!” Kind of thing

or did you just look moody

How old are your children?

I’ve never been particularly visible to my family (my hobbies and capabilities didn’t align with my DPs so they just weren’t interested). It got even more noticeable when I had DCs with DPs and ILs and when I hit the menopause the rest of the world followed suit.

I’ve made my peace with it now.

@Beachside82 5.

Ive said similar before and dad has rolled his eyes as if I’m being ridiculous and I’ve felt like a child pouting for attention…so I kept quiet

I get what you're saying, and it's shite, but take charge! Make yourself visible, don't fade into the background. You can do it, grab the bull by the horns and be unashamedly you 💪

Oh fgs sakes op, woman up

What kind of an example are you setting your girls

Your father rolling is his eyes at you after you have cooked a spread for him and hosted him

”Dad, how come the eye roll when I’m just asking for a bit of glory for today?!”

And now your daughters see their father profusely thanked for lighting the bbq and their silent mother ignored for doing everything

The ball is in your court op

as you are married to a twat I suspect

Not personally but I see it happen to female friends

Tell your DH you aren’t having it anymore, demand recognition and that he do the same for you.

Women are expected to just do so much

Alternatively of course, just stop doing it

Oh that’s no good OP

It’s a crap example to your kids

Is your husband a dick?

We are feeling invisible Op….