AIBU, or worse, ungrateful?

[notsogood2]

DP and I have some credit card debt. It's not a huge stress but life would be easier without it.

DP has insisted he wants to buy me a new phone - mine is getting on, I've been debating but putting off getting one for over a year now and in the last year I've not bought anything really for myself because we've had our DC and I've put my disposable income into them.

I've said I would prefer for the money for the phone to pay off debt because that feels more important to me than a new phone. It's not that DP doesn't get it but he is a bit deflated that I'm not as enthusiastic about him wanting to treat me as he imagined.

DP and I are cut from 2 very different cloths when it comes to finances. I know my logic is sound but AIBU/U(ngrateful) to be trying to redirect the money from a one off nice gesture into debt?

You really don’t need a new phone if you’re exiting one works. Everything is far too throwaway now.

I’d just express appreciation and emphasise that paying down debt will make you far, far happier.

It mostly works, I have to charge it twice a day and there's a dead bit of screen that doesn't work so I have to use predictive text if a word contains the letter it's over, but I get by on it.

I supported DP through the most difficult period of his life in the last 12 months and he's said this is how he wants to show his appreciation for everything I did. He's so far refusing to cancel the order of the phone and I'm worried about pushing it too much that it ends up causing some tension and resentment.

You're not being unreasonable at all. In fact, your partner is being a bit daft and not thinking straight. If you're in debt, surely any spare money should be going on clearing that debt, no questions asked? The only exception to that is if something is needed and to be honest, a phone does not come under that, even if it didn't work at all. A smartphone is a luxury. You can pick up cheap old phones as a means of contact so you're not cut off if it came to it, but as it is, your current phone is working well enough anyway.

Being debt free is something that you should both be aiming to achieve, surely? It would frustrate me no end if my partner wasn't on the same page as me with something like this. Of course this is just my opinion and I know many people these days are happy to live with a little debt hanging over them.

Well it depends on what you mean by a new phone? I've got a very decent new phone for £170 from argos. 5g, 128gb space, latest version, rave reviews. Or do you mean a ridiculously priced iPhone?

Hi @notsogood2 YANBU, i would prefer the same thing, to put the money towards the debt.
My husband always says to me i need a new phone, he's tried everything but i'd rather save the money.

I would normally say pay the debt, but with a dieing phone and a husband who's keen on replacing it, I'd probably just go with it. If the phone was fully functional, I wouldn't, but better to replace it while it's still working than... well, back up anything important anyway.

What has he bought you? If it's a phone for £1k then he's BU.

If it's a basic ish new phone for a couple of hundred then he's not - sounds like yours is on the way put anyway.

I think it depends on a couple of things, what sort of phone it is and if your phone blows up whether you have the money to replace it?

YANBU really, but is the phone reliable when it needs to charge twice a day? He's not unreasonable either for that reason, I think.