To wonder how people stay organised?!

[Clueless1982]

I have three DS's - two at school and one in nursery. And until the older two started school, I'd always been pretty organised.

But my word, once we got into the world of class what's apps, birthday parties, homework, remembering what day to send PE kit / £1 for Wild Animal Day / Comic Relief donations in, I've lost the plot!

AIBU to ask you how you make it work?

I work full time and my DH works away a lot of the week, so it's just me which is fine (it's always been this way so I'm used to it) - but I feel like there's so much more to remember all the time now they're at school.

I missed DS's immunisation appointment last week because I completely forgot to put it in the calendar and my work is definitely suffering because I can't seem to think more than a few days ahead at the moment. I also missed one of DS's good friend's birthday parties because of not putting it into the calendar.

Now the school holidays are here I figure I've got a few weeks to get my shit together, so if anyone has any magic bullets then I am all ears.

I feel like everyone else is breezing through the school year so there must be something I'm missing. (Otherwise the alternative is that I'm just bad at this, which I'm willing to accept might be true 🤪)

OP, your husband works away, but can he not also be on the school emails / WhatsApp / read the newsletters etc and take on some of the actions, given he isn’t also having to physically sort out the children in the week and presumably has at least some time in the evenings? I’m possibly projecting somewhat here as it’s a real bugbear for me personally in my family life that when my husband is away for work it’s like his part in family life totally freezes when he is physically absent when from my perspective the stuff that doesn’t need in-person action can MORE easily be done by him as, unlike me, he’s not trying to do everything else for our 3 children while holding down a senior full-time job.

Put a wall calendar by the bin. A big whiteboard would work.

Open the kids' backpacks by the calendar and bin every day when everyone arrives home. Do this before you get stuck into anything else, while the kids are washing hands, taking off shoes, etc.

Put all the school related stuff on the wall calendar. Put all the paperwork in the bin.

For doctor appointments and birthday parties you can do the same - make entering items on the calendar the first thing you do when an invitation arrives or when you phone to make the appointment. Stand by the calendar when you open the post or when you call yo make an appointment.

Review the calendar every morning.

You can set pre-event reminders on your phone. Mine gives a choice of 10min before, 1h before, a few h before, a day before etc. Works in Outlook, too.

Would this help?

If something needs e.g. childcare organising, the reminder could be set for a week before the event, giving you time to sort stuff out then. Birthdays could have a reminder set a few days before, while appointments may only need 2-3 hours' notice.

Events can repeat annually etc. as needed automatically, including reminders.

It does rely on you inputting information, but then, so does everything. Dedicate 5min at the end of every day ensuring everything that needs to be recorded is recorded.

My kids know, too, that if it isn't on the calendar, it won't happen (again, if you connect digital accounts on the app everyone can contribute and block your time off if needed; ours is still very much an old-fashioned paper calendar).

Your school aged DC has to really make sure to help with this. They need to be checking their bags for papers too.

Mine must have been pretty good at it because I'm not and there was no class WhatsApp group (France). And yet we didn't miss much - 4DC pretty full on jobs. So must have been the kids.

My kids were always herding me out the door not the other way round so I can only say get your kids to step up.

Yes me and my DH have a WhatsApp group. Photo of the letter/invite/whatever in there. Then one of us updates our shared calendar.
Anything that falls during a working day for me I email myself a reminder (to my work email) and use that as a prompt to put it in my work calendar too.