Hi mumsnet
Hope everyone is keeping well.
Would appreciate some arms length views.
Dh and I have a lovely 3 year old, who's v active and busy, and I'm in my third trimester with our second and last baby.
Background - I've always worked and have a 'white collar' profession. Worked full time for over ten years, then four days a week (which is five days in four as we know is often the case).
Last year, I became a locum, as I was senior enough and as it is better paid.
It also gives more flex around childcare (we have no wider family or village support with childcare, it is nursery and us). Downside is there are latent periods between projects. Projects can vary from full time to three days a week, all depends on what they need.
When I was pregnant with our first, I worked full time and paid for my husband to go back to uni for a full time course for a year (from savings i had pre marriage).I still did our house admin though he did more cooking and general chores. I've supported him financially at various times throughout our 13 years together, when he ran a business etc, and was happy to do so.
Now, summer is quiet for me as a locum, so I've got the house ready for our baby, sorted through 10+ years of junk (we're hoarders!). I do most of the childcare and nursery shuttles for when 3 year old is in. I do all the cooking, shopping, admin/bills, literally everything. Dh sometimes does laundry or dishwasher.
My issue is my DH wants to go to the gym in the evenings when our 3 year old is up (major sleep regression, gone from going to sleep happily between 7and and 7.30 to being fully awake and clingy until 9pm every night). Tiring. I have no issue with DH going to gym but I think he should go before work, at lunch or when three year old is settled.
By 9pm, I'm running on fumes (third trimester).
Today is Saturday, and I've been having bad pregnancy insomnia (same with pregnancy).
Husband gets up with three year old, then later on at 8.30am bursts in saying he wants to go and exercise. I say no, I don't feel great, it's more than DHs turn to take our son to swimming and I'm bloody knackered. He sees his ass and says right he's taking the entire afternoon to exercise. I point out that our son misses him, weekend time is family time and exercise should fit around it, and that he's away for a full day/night next weekend.
I don't begrudge dh exercising, but AIBu to think it should fit it i.e. Be when son is asleep etc? We pay for an expensive 24 hour gym for dh and he can function well on 5 hours sleep. I am a zombie at the moment.
Husband says I am being unreasonable, as only he is working at the moment. I do however bring in passive income from investments that i have, so it's not as though I don't do anything. Also, I will return to work next year after mat leave.
I don't feel like he sees me as a person, sees my needs, sees my son's needs and is completely obsessed with the fact he is working, so he is entitled to spend the weekend with us fitting round him. I can't remember the last time he cooked a meal for us all etc.
Sorry for long post. Appreciate I am lucky in many ways. Please be gentle. Thanks all. X