People who stare

[HellHathNoFurry]

I went into doctors surgery yesterday, there was a woman talking to receptionist who then started typing into the computer. This woman then turned to look at me and stared at me as I approached the desk, once I was at said desk she carried on staring at me! I looked back at her thinking maybe I knew her but nope … so I looked away but she continued staring!! Finally the receptionist got her attention again and she looked away to talk to her but once receptionist was back on her computer she turned back to staring at me. Why do people do this?? It’s so bloody rude and weird. I wish now I’d just looked back at her and said “are you ok?” To see how she would respond!

Are you pretty ? Or stand out in anyway ?

I say this because I see myself as fairly normal but people always stare at me

I have a lot of blonde curly hair and I'm very curvy ( size 8 but hourglass ) so i never really know if people think I look nice or think 'who the fuck does she think she is '
I often get comments on looking way younger ( I'm short so look younger overall I guess ) or about my hair to which i just say thanks

I'm nearly 50 and it's happened all my life so I don't know if you have similar visual traits that people find fascinating for some reason 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

No I’m tall, dark frizzy hair and look 10 years older than I am 😂

Thing is if I see someone with gorgeous hair I’ll maybe look, think “wow” and then look away … no matter how gorgeous someone was I wouldn’t stand and stare at them

I wasn’t standing too close, I was behind the line and it’s only a small area so I couldn’t stand any further away if I tried

Any chance she was staring at you because you approached the desk when she was stood there and was hoping for a bit of privacy whilst she spoke with the staff?

It is not pleasant but it is not the end of the world. YABU. Maybe she thought she recognised you, maybe she has a condition etc. best to be tolerant! Look away if you are not comfortable, that's it. Likewise we live in a world where one can't look at another for longer than 1 second! If I like someone's outfit or they look interesting I would like to linger for a a couple of seconds longer but it is such a no-no now, it is immediately perceived as harassment, it is crazy !

This is very common and very uncomfortable for the person being stared at, I’m surprised folks don’t recognise it. The absolute worst is people staring at you in a restaurant when you have your food and they are waiting for theirs.

We had this last weekend, sitting eating our meal and the couple at the next table were sitting in silence heads turned our way, watching us, they were almost drooling. It’s so utterly rude and puts you on edge as as much as you try to ignore it, it’s difficult when you can see them out the corner of your eye. Even if you give them a pointed look they still sit their staring at your food and watching you eat it.

I hate this to OP. Mainly middle age women seem to do it to me and I’m a middle age woman myself. Suffer with anxiety anyway so it always makes me feel self conscious like do I look weird in certain clothes or do I just look weird in general. Women are worse than men at this in general I find. It’s rude in my opinion even if you catch yourself staring look away it’s rude to just continually stare and makes a person feel self conscious. Must be awful if you really do have a disfigurement or something ppl don’t even hide there doing it.

Germans love doing this on holiday … thought it was a cultural stereotype until I experienced it first hand - ppl literally turning around from their sunbeds on a beach to have a good stare. Found it rude and bizarre

It was her way of telling you that you were too close.

That is usually because they are seeing what you ordered. I always have a look at other people's food when waiting for mine.

OP - sounds like the woman you mention was staring at you because you approached the desk when she was there.
I have a friend who uses blatant stares as a passive aggressive thing when someone pisses her off. We call it her "death stare".

My husband and I parked our car walked towards a bar where there were 6 or 7 big middle aged blokes outside talking. As we walked towards them they all turned and just kept looking at us. My knickers hadn't fallen down and we're not particularly Beverly hillbilly types..as I got closer I made a point of turning round to check what they were gawping at of course there was no one behind us. I then asked them what they were looking at and if they wanted our autographs...in a jokey way...they laughed and we went into the pub..another village lost some of its idiots. People are weird OP.

When my family members used to ask if I was staring at them, I used to say ‘I’m not staring to you, I’m gazing into space and you got in the way.’

This sounds entirely likely.

@SummerIsDismal me too. It really gets to me. Children do it a lot, and it’s awful when the parents realise but don’t do anything about it. I stare back.

Yes they love a good gawk. Interesting how it's a normal behavioural trait in some countries yet to us it feels almost aggressive.

Same here. It's embarrassing when I realise

It could be anything, from them being judgy about some aspect of your appearance to you being a doppelganger of someone they know and wondering if they should say hi or not.

That's what I do, too. I sometimes just zone out when I am in a public space and there is someone sitting very close to me. I tend to do this on trains as I can't read on public transport.

Me too.

It’s rude to stare but if an adult’s doing it, that’s outside the norm therefore there’s likely a reason e.g. neurodiversity.
I wouldn’t be bothered unless I was constantly being stared at by lots of people.

I’m not sure why the lady was staring at you, except maybe you were a bit close as PP’s have said.

It does annoy me though when people for example wear very outlandish/unusual things or look very unusual by choice and then get upset when people stare. I know someone who has the whole ‘love island’ aesthetic going on - very blonde, eyelashes etc, and she very pretty with a lovely figure - but her arms and legs are almost completely covered in tattoos. It’s does look a little strange. So people stare and she gets all annoyed (she does also seem to get annoyed when no one is staring at her, which is another story altogether).

I hate being stared at ~ makes me feel really uncomfortable and self conscious. The best tactic I've found to deal with persistent starers is to give them a great big beaming grin. This inevitability makes them look away immediately, and not look back (possibly because they think I'm a mad lady).

Are you sure she was staring at you and not just looking at you.
I’ve been accused of staring when I was just looking at someone.
Are you sure that you can tell the difference between a stare and a look.
It’s very upsetting to be accused of staring when you are just looking at someone. You need to be sure.

A quick look is one thing. And fine. Staring is another. The thread is about folks staring. If you do stare at folks food though , please don’t. It’s rude and makes people uncomfortable.

German staring is next level. I love Germany and I just think it's a social norm there but it's hard to deal with at times. I've occasionally smiled or waved and that seems to annoy them. Like they have a right to stare 😂