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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS form class in comp

37 replies

Bigjamsandwich · 22/07/2023 08:54

DS is off to comp in September and I’ve recently found out that he’s been put in a supported form class (he’s on the pathway for ADHD.) The supported form class will mean that there will be more TA support and he will have more support with his work etc.

Unfortunately, his friendship group from primary are all in another form class together and he is upset that he is separated from them all.

DH and I explained to our son that we would request for him to be in a class with his friends but unfortunately this was before we knew about the supported form class.

School have said they could possibly move him to be with his friends but this would mean less support. He is extremely close to all the boys and has been with them all since nursery.

He doesn’t know that he’s on the pathway for ADHD.

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 22/07/2023 10:02

See above..typo...

If he's the most neuro typical not neurological!

ParisP · 22/07/2023 10:03

In your shoes I’d trial him with his friends, then request a move to supported form if things are not working. Be honest about trialing them and explain about one class offering more TA support and the other offering more friendship support.

JudgeRudy · 22/07/2023 10:17

ParisP · 22/07/2023 10:03

In your shoes I’d trial him with his friends, then request a move to supported form if things are not working. Be honest about trialing them and explain about one class offering more TA support and the other offering more friendship support.

I think I'd do the same however I'd be very careful with the language I use if he needs to transfer to the SEN form. You don't want him to feel that he's a failure. Ic this is the root to be taken present it as an opportunity to have lessons that suit him better.

Bluevelvetsofa · 22/07/2023 10:23

I’d leave him in the supported form, where there will be smaller groups and he’ll get more support for learning. It might be that he’s able to move to a larger group later, but if he’s in that to start with and he has poor initial experiences, it could put him off secondary school at the outset.

The TAs might well be helping Year 7 to find their way around to begin with and directing them to the next class.

JanglyBeads · 22/07/2023 10:31

Do you know any parents with older children in that school, ask how that class is perceived / works?

Weedoormatnomore · 22/07/2023 10:40

JanglyBeads · 22/07/2023 09:55

Are you sure all his primary friends are in one class together?

This seems unlikely and kids can get things wrong, or have you heard via the parents?

We have PSHE at our place Personal, Social and Health Education. The C may stand for Community or something.

1 secondary school near us does that, they stay in all the same classes as form class for 1 year they get split into ability sets after that. The other kids are in forms but are mixed with other forms for their classes they keep all classes except maths in mixed ability levels.
If you're so needs help and he is getting it I would leave home where he is.

Maddy70 · 22/07/2023 10:52

Tell him he needs the support
He will still see his friends at school at breaktime.

After the first day he will be fine

SpaceRaiders · 22/07/2023 10:53

His senco strongly recommended not telling him until diagnosis but this could take years.

I’m sorry but that’s utter madness. I can’t think why you wouldn’t be open with your child about things they find tricky. And needing help as a parent to identify why they find certain things harder in order to provide the right support.

Both dc are Dyslexic, Autistic and ADHD. We’ve been taking about ‘different brains’ for some years now well before a diagnosis confirmed my suspicions.

In terms of tutor groups it’s very likely he’ll still be with his friends for some lessons. I know some schools tend to break up groups of children who’ve all joined from the same school to encourage social cohesion.

redskytwonight · 22/07/2023 10:57

Leave him in the class with extra support.
He'll still see his friends at breaks and lunch.
If his class is for children needing extra support, it's likely they will all be separated from friends so keen to make new ones!

The school will likely not teach everything in the same class, so he may well see them in other classes as well (e.g. DC's school teach most things in the same class in Year 7, but they do set for maths and PE and some others subjects are run in different groups).

lanthanum · 22/07/2023 11:32

MojoMoon · 22/07/2023 08:58

Friendships change a lot at the start of secondary and subject classes will eventually be mixed across from groups so there is plenty of room for interaction with other forms. If he has additional needs that will be better met in this class, I wouldn't move him.

Does he know this is an extra support form? You need to tell him - it will be very obvious at school that there is a specific grouping.
Does he think he needs extra support?

It won't necessarily be obvious, depending on how it's organised. I had a form that was targetted for support - there were several SEN kids and an LSA who went to all their lessons, but they were balanced by a good bunch of bright kids, so it was still a mixed-ability group. The main difference from another class that might have had only one or two SEN kids was that they had LSA support every lesson rather than just some.

dancingsands · 22/07/2023 12:19

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 22/07/2023 09:04

He doesn't know he's on the pathway for ADHD

this is where you’re going wrong…

This!!! Ridiculous

clairea123 · 22/07/2023 12:35

I would seek advice from someone else about the suggestion you don’t let your son know about the pathway. I think it’s morally questionable (I also have a 11yo boy)

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