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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asking Ex to babysit

13 replies

Apollos · 22/07/2023 01:03

DH and I have two kids, they are almost 4 and 6. The summer holidays started end of last week for them, this week my parents have helped with childcare, next week DHs are, then they are going to a camp for a week, then we are on holiday for two weeks, camp for another week, which takes us to the last full week of the holidays. The Monday is bank holiday and I don't work Tuesday or Thursday right now so 3/5 days sorted, the Friday they are spending with one of my close friends (I'm having her son on the Thursday), just leaves the Wednesday. I was talking to my friend about how annoying it is that I'll probably have to use a holiday on that do, as even though I work from home on Wednesday, I can't do my job properly with the kids at home, not at their ages anyway, she mentioned that her son is going to my ex's and she is having his daughter on the Friday along with mine. Ex and I were together from 18/19-23, been split 11 years now, ended on good terms and the kids are familiar with him as we are all still friends (attend group events with he and his wife but nothing just us). She spoke to him and in passing mentioned that I was struggling for childcare one of the days too (he and his wife are struggling for the Thursday).
Logically we could have his daughter on the Thursday and he could have our two on the Wednesday (also his daughter is 4 too and other friends son is 6 so the kids would have someone to play with).
DH isn't so sure, he has said he trusts him and that isn't the issue, but he thinks it is weird that my ex would be babysitting our kids and I would be babysitting his.
AIBU to think this is fine and not weird?

(This is all such an issue as the camp the kids are attending on the other weeks, doesn't seem to run on the last week!!)

OP posts:
Mothership4two · 22/07/2023 02:10

If you know them and trust them and there is no back story then I can't see any problem but I can also understand that it might make your DH uncomfortable

Aquamarine1029 · 22/07/2023 02:11

I don't see the issue at all. You dated when you were basically "kids." You're friends now. Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with this.

However, your kids aren't just your kids. Your husband has to agree as to who you entrust your kids to.

Weal · 22/07/2023 08:39

If you have a very amicable relationship then I’d say go for it. If there was any hint of bad blood then no I’d just leave it.

Quartz2208 · 22/07/2023 08:43

no sounds fine I would tell your DH if that bothered he takes a holiday day

FedUpMumof10YO · 22/07/2023 08:45

I'd take a holiday day or get DH to

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 22/07/2023 08:48

If dh can make alternative plans in the next two days then fine, otherwise firm with your ex and it sounds like you have fixed summer holiday childcare Tetris.

Mummysaf · 22/07/2023 08:50

I have an 19 year old son
me and his dad never worked out but remained in good terms
he had a daughter a few years later and so did I
in the holidays I used to have him and his wife’s daughter
as I didn’t work the same days and it was nice for my son to spend time with his sister
they are all 19 and the girls both 16 and still very close
if it works it works
dong worry what people think

Mummysaf · 22/07/2023 08:51

Goodness autocorrect has made me look very stupid!
but you get what I’m saying!
😂

Campervangirl · 22/07/2023 09:02

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me, it takes a village . . . .

noglow · 22/07/2023 09:03

If your DH isn't comfortable then no

Newestname002 · 22/07/2023 09:14

Quartz2208 · 22/07/2023 08:43

no sounds fine I would tell your DH if that bothered he takes a holiday day

Yes this. 🌹

zooopta · 22/07/2023 12:22

DH isn't so sure, he has said he trusts him and that isn't the issue, but he thinks it is weird that my ex would be babysitting our kids and I would be babysitting his.

Then your DH should find a better solution for the Wednesday. You've found childcare, he isn't sure about it, but at least you've found someone. Is he even trying?

Because if I were you I would be saying it's happening or it's turn to sort it

zooopta · 22/07/2023 12:23

Should have said "Because if I were you I would be saying it's happening or it's HIS turn to sort it"

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