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AIBU?

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Original poster

Girlfriend annoyed at me in a restaurant

42 replies

mrbigcheese · 21/07/2023 22:49

Went for an all you can eat Chinese buffet. We agreed to order things and share them. She ordered us duck and got some ribs too, I ordered a sharing platter.

She got really annoyed at this because it turns out she didn’t like anything on the sharing platter, and said I should “know her better”. I knew she didn’t like a few things, but thought she might like to try some of the things. She got really annoyed, saying I “didn’t think about her” and only ordered for myself.
I can’t understand why she got upset seeing as it’s an all you can eat. She’s still a bit annoyed at me.

Am I wrong here?

OP posts:
YabbaDabbaDooooo · 22/07/2023 00:12

I'm confused because any 'all you can eat Chinese buffet' I've ever been to, has been an actual buffet where you grab a plate and go and put what you want on it from the buffet.

Are they not all like that then? If you have to order food, where does the 'buffet' bit come in?

JudgeRudy · 22/07/2023 00:13

I don't understand the logistics of what's happened. My understanding of an eat all you want buffet is you pay a set fee and er....well eat what you want, going up to the servery and chosing what you like or fancy trying. If this is the case I don't see why it would matter what you had as she could go and get more of what she fancied.
If it's not that type of set up and you choose a few dishes, then why did she not speak up when you ordered. Although sounds like she loked 2.5/3 dishes.

If what you actually mean was you went to the servery and collected 2 meals, one what she'd chosen and one what you had chosen, well that sounds perfectly fair. So maybe you ate one of her ribs, but she wasn't able to take an equivalent amount from your plate. That's unfortunate. As long as she didn't go hungry what's the problem. I mean do couples really ensure their partner likes their dish? I order what I like. Unless there's loads of food I don't like sharing, exactly for this reason but if it's an unlimited buffet....
I hope this high maintenance princess has some redeeming qualities. Sounds like hard work.

TimeToMoveIt · 22/07/2023 00:14

The all you can eat Chinese we go to is sit down and order . Much nicer than the buffet type ones

She was being childish

YabbaDabbaDooooo · 22/07/2023 00:16

TimeToMoveIt · 22/07/2023 00:14

The all you can eat Chinese we go to is sit down and order . Much nicer than the buffet type ones

She was being childish

Ahh I see.

The OP has said this one was a buffet though, so it's a bit confusing.

kitchenplans · 22/07/2023 00:53

YabbaDabbaDooooo · 22/07/2023 00:16

Ahh I see.

The OP has said this one was a buffet though, so it's a bit confusing.

Show quote history

Oh, I had missed that he had said that.

To be fair, I someone had taken me for a date a a Chinese buffet, I'd be pissed off, regardless of what they ate! It really is akin to taking someone to McDs or a Weatherspoons for a date. But, yes, it wouldn't matter at a buffet what he put on his plate. But then he wouldn't be ordering would he? Just plonking luke warm, MSG loaded deep fried carbs on his plate.

StellaJohanna · 22/07/2023 01:14

I've never been to a Chinese buffet. Having said that, I don't see what you did wrong? It's nothing for her to get annoyed about. Next time perhaps let her order her own food and don't share with her.

Wishitsnows · 22/07/2023 01:19

Why would she give a shit? It’s all you can eat so just order some other stuff

SingingNettles · 22/07/2023 01:36

kitchenplans · 22/07/2023 00:53

Oh, I had missed that he had said that.

To be fair, I someone had taken me for a date a a Chinese buffet, I'd be pissed off, regardless of what they ate! It really is akin to taking someone to McDs or a Weatherspoons for a date. But, yes, it wouldn't matter at a buffet what he put on his plate. But then he wouldn't be ordering would he? Just plonking luke warm, MSG loaded deep fried carbs on his plate.

Show quote history

I don’t think your personal preferences are particularly relevant here, nor does the OP say he was taking her there on a date.

RicherThanYews · 22/07/2023 01:39

Try a Japanese all you can eat in future, they don't do sharing platters and it's 1 piece of sushi per person. Problem solved.

On a serious note, she is out of order.

Catsmere · 22/07/2023 01:59

fpurplea · 21/07/2023 23:53

Yeah OP, this was your bad. If you've agreed to share food you get stuff you both want to eat, surely this is just base level social norms? Aside from anything, didn't you discuss this prior to ordering? If she'd said she wanted to try stuff fair enough, but it very much sounds like you just made that decision yourself. There should always be a discussion before sharing. This whole situation just sounds bizarre.

I agree, I hate people trying to make me "just try" food they know I don't like.

GarlicGrace · 22/07/2023 02:10

When you've got a plate of duck to share and ribs for yourself, your partner's hardly trying to make you share other stuff, are they?

OP, never get too involved with anyone who not only thinks you should be able to read their mind, but also requires you to order food you know (telepathically or otherwise) they like!

Lesbehonestm8 · 22/07/2023 02:21

OP Do you think this is really about the food?
it seems like there is more of an underlying issue here that your girlfriend feels as though you are not taking her needs into account. The fact that she said she felt like you didn’t know her when ordering food she didn’t like points to a deeper problem in the relationship. You should take some time to reflect and talk this through with your partner. Hope this helps ❤️

unvillage · 22/07/2023 02:26

You might have to pay extra for anything uneaten. But she might have said if there was something she didn't want to eat.

WhatFlavourIsIt · 22/07/2023 02:28

I'm confused. Why were you ordering at a all you can eat buffet?. Didn't you just go up and fill your plates?.
I fucking love a Chinese buffet me

DustyDood · 22/07/2023 03:21

Wondering if it’s like my local AYCE Chuffet where you order over the telephone 20mins in advance to state the dishes you wish to order and quantities. Then when you arrive you are shown to your seat and drinks orders are taken and only then you make your way to the servery and tell the server which dishes you ordered over the phone. The server then points out those dishes and you then take the agreed quantities before returning to your seat where should find a token to go and collect your drinks order from the beveragery.

Was it like that OP? If so I can understand your wife’s annoyance as you have to ‘lock in’ your order over the phone and there is then no chance to change it as they have to prepare it ready for your arrival. So you really need to agree on which ones you’re going to share and who likes how many ribs and rice/chow mein etc. Good luck.

NumberTheory · 22/07/2023 03:59

Is this a bit of a “straw that broke the camels back” thing? Have you been doing lots of things lately where you have upset her because you seem to have given no thought to what she likes or commonly does? So it’s a really sore issue for her and this is just One More Thing that shows (to her) that you are only really concerned about your own needs and desires in the relationship?

Because otherwise I agree with the others that, in itself, it’s a ridiculous thing to get worked up about.

Bogeyes · 22/07/2023 05:56

She sounds like a manipulative child. Dump her.

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