I just got invited to something because someone dropped out - should I care?

[Shouldilastmin]

Very last minute, I just got invited to something because the other person going dropped out and there was space.

Should I care? Part of me feels huffy, the other part of me thinks I’m being unreasonable!

It’s not something that very much only has space for two people. I don’t want to say too much because it’s weirdly specific and outing (and perhaps not that important). But the other person was clearly the favourite to go.

Am I just being petty? I’d like to go. Should I just go and not care that I wasn’t first invited?

I hope you go and have a lovely time!

Yes, I think that’s cutting off your nose to spite your face. Can’t you think of friends you’d probably think of first for a particular activity, out of habit, pure chance, likelihood of availability etc etc, without it implying you think any less of your other friends?

This wouldn't bother me. In my main friendship group we all occasionally do things with just one or two of the others for various reasons.

I'm glad you are embracing it though! That's a much better plan than staying home being offended

This happened to me a couple of years ago, numbers were limited and the person who dropped out was better known to the Inviters.
I went and had a great time, with no resentment at all.
You can't invite everyone to everything.

So in the 3 friends scenario, if you got asked first, would you expect the other friend to be huffy? What if only two can go? How would any friendships ever last?

Yup if I was asked first the other would be huffy. If only two could go the invitee would say so to both of the others at the same time. There would then be a bit of 'well you two go then', 'no it's fine, you go' 'are you sure?' until it was decided.
God knows how it's lasted but we've managed half a century so far!

These are my favourite invites. I'm too flaky to plan ahead for a multitude of reasons. If it's a last minute invite I don't have to worry or plan. Go and have fun

Your face needs its nose

This happens all the time both by me and to me. Someone books two tickets to a theatre show and near the time, the person they were going with can't go and so they ask around to see if someone wants to go.
I often book tickets for some shows months and months in advance so plans change over that time and sometimes I have spare tickets as someone dropped out.
If it's a show I want to see and a person I like, why wouldn't I go? Just because I am not the only person they ever socialise with? It's never crossed my mind to be offended

I would say it probably depends on whether it is a two person activity.

so if for example it was a voucher for a spa experience for two then I absolutely would not mind being someone’s 2nd choice. They might have had a huge number of perfectly valid reasons to ask the other person first. E.g they a closer friends, they thought that person needed a pick me up or they know the other person would particularly enjoy the activity etc.

I might possibly feel slightly differently if the activity was something I could have been included in (e.g concert tickets) and I was friends with both of the original attendees. But even then you don’t know the full details such as not enough tickets, they planned it on a whim or they wanted to quality time one on one.

So even then I would still happily go. I think it’s only an issue if the person routinely makes you feel like an after thought or plan b

I had this exact scenario today, although I did know about it last week and sorted it then. I was supposed to go to a lovely restaurant with my gay best friend, and he messaged me to reschedule because he wanted to go to Barbie! Rather than just cancel the table I asked a friend if she wanted to go, and did tell her I had the table booked but had been pied by Barbie Boy. We had a lovely meal and catchup, and I am meeting GBF in a couple of weeks. (He can pay. And he is miffed that we ended up in a special fancy garden room that he would have loved!)