I wonder about people’s opinions on this.
So I like to think of myself as a person with good personal boundaries , I had a long relationship (20+years )which ended, which was good at the start but I left after my ex turned pretty grumpy and intolerable , short tempered and not arsed about sex in middle age. I felt pretty devastated but felt it was like living with a ticking time bomb, walking on eggshells and feeling unloved, so that was that. I left and generally commend myself on having taken the leap, despite the practical difficulties, but I cope well, life goes on.
I’m a self sufficient person, and my life is generally busy and rewarding. I like my job, good long-standing friends , etc.
When my relationship ended I had the universal experience of lots of male acquaintances crawling out of the woodwork to surreptitiously offer me sympathy shags and so on. It really threw me, and so I stayed single doubting the intentions of men for a long time. It’s now 7 years , I’ve lived like a nun, and I’d like to dip my toes in to dating.
However. On the (very rare) occasions in the last years that I’ve felt attracted to a man, it’s been revealed to me later that they have significant red flag issues . Not small issues. A man who attacked his wife. A controlling abuser. Etc. Note I’ve had no datey interactions with these men, they’re just people I’ve thought could be on the maybe list.
So there’s been a guy who’s lovely to me, a work associate. I like him, think he’s wonderful but after these experiences I’m honestly wondering if I’m only attracted to him because he’s some kind of lunatic? Or if I seem really vulnerable to men?
What’s wrong with me ? 🙈