To call my dh a doom monger?

[Fluffe]

He has just shown me three consecutive posts about climate change. Extreme flooding in Morocco, a graph about temperatures rising and some other video I completely zoned out of. He works in this field (environment/sustainability/climate change) and I’m hearing about it multiple times every day- he works from home.

I know it’s happening and I know it’s fucking awful. I do what I can to minimise my carbon footprint (not enough but I’m very conscious and I’m trying). I’ve just had enough.

He’s furious with me for calling him a doom monger.

Some people love the doom.

I had a friend like this. Every bad news story she’d spread and share.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

I sacked her off. It dragged me down.

It is tough because I know I can’t bury my head in the sand. It’s just bloody depressing to hear about it almost constantly. I’d say it’s 80% of our chats. I can’t sack him off though, dc wouldn’t like that 😂

you can't spend your whole life focussed on doom. Aside from doing your own bit, maybe a bit of campaigning and some lifestyle changes, your input won't change a great deal. So, YANBU.

As long as humans have been around there's been some sort of doom / gloom thing hanging over our heads. A few decades ago it was the whole cold war thing.

Pointless working ourselves up just to doommonger ALL the time. I would honestly leave someone who didn't shut up about it.

Maybe if you engage with him he won’t feel so alone and depressed.

Mine is like this too, except he foresees (falsely) the demise of the institution he works in. He almost keeps cardboard boxes in the garage for us to move into when the organisation collapses overnight. He constantly feeds me evidence to verify this viewpoint.

I know it's just anxiety talking, but it's draining. I have told him to keep it in his head and he does try.

I do engage with him. I share his concerns and I’m not a climate change denier- I know how serious it is and I know it’s up to every individual to take action. I just want to relax on a fecking Friday night.

Gosh, that sounds hard. Is he a conspiracy theorist?

Dh is quite level by nature and I do know he’s right about all of this, I just want a break and not to hear about it incessantly. I want him to acknowledge that I know it’s bad and it doesn’t have to be every conversation!

No not a conspiracist. Like your DH's topic, there is an actual foundation to the doom. The institution he works in is in a sector that currently has difficulties and it's reasonably likely that there will be further difficulties to come. There is a LOT of talk amongst senior management about needing to make cuts and 'emergency financial measures' etc. From the outside, I can see that there are a number of doom mongers among them feeding the drama and DH just gets overwhelmed by it.

I find this with people who talk about climate change a lot too.

I absolutely accept that it’s terrifying and a real present threat to all of us.

I’m very happy to engage in constructive discussion about solutions.

I don’t really understand what people seek to achieve by hitting us over the head repeatedly with apocalyptic stories.

I have a friend who talks about this endlessly. About three quarters of her conversation is terrible case studies of awful things happening in various parts of the world. It’s draining and alienating and people just switch off.

I wouldn’t be on board with constant doom droning. I also wouldn’t let him go on and on in front of children - they can develop real anxiety and MH issues because of it.

It’s actual psychological warfare to constantly put people on edge and keep them in a state of fear. Media is doing it to us 24/7, we don’t need our families doing it as well.

1960 - ‘all oil will be gone in 10 years’
1970’s - ‘we’ll experience another ice age in 10 years.
1980’s -‘acid rain will destroy all crops within 10 years’
1990’s- ‘The ozone layer will be destroyed in 10 years’
2000’s - ‘icecaps will be completely gone in 10 years’

none of it happened but they put they always put our taxes up in aid of stopping these from happening.

I would just ignore his doom mongering and live your life.

Well said

What are China doing about it. They’re the main culprits in polluting the planet.

Oh God, I grew up in the 90s and remember worrying so much about the ozone layer! 😆

I really liked Captain Planet and the Planeteers. 🌍
Life, TV and activism was so much better in the 90s.

He's just boring going on and on about his work .. he'd probably be the same if he was a bus driver!

I would full on lean into it. Go ott proper, build a nuclear fallout shelter in your garden, bug out bags, stacks of canned food etc...

What a fabulous excuse to do naff all this weekend. No cleaning or chores. After all it's pointless isn't it?

You presumably live in the UK, you will be fine. As will I, I'm poor as fuck so therefore have a tiny carbon footprint, fuck the doom merchants

My kids think London will be 50' underwater in 5 years, fuck knows what's going on at school

Does he have children?

If so, he can’t be that concerned about his carbon legacy.

I think it's good to put a boundary in place around how much you talk about it. It's healthy.

Unless he's having a productive chat with you about where to donate money or changes you can make to your lifestyle to support the climate, I don't see how scaring you like this is helpful. It's not helping people in crisis and it's bringing you down.

Tell him how terrible the internet is for the climate. His doom-scrolling is contributing lots of CO2. Put down the internet and do something less terrible instead.

And I'm also saying that as someone who cares about the climate and a number of other issues.

I care a lot about violence against women, for example, but don't think it would be good for my DH to hear me talk about how awful and scary it is 24/7. He already knows it's a concern. Me talking about it constantly would be depressing and no substitute for actually taking action.