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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want a nice tidy home???

15 replies

bonkerz · 26/02/2008 08:35

We spent over 10k in april last year on our downstairs area. New kithcen, flooring, decorating, furniture the lot! DH has a huge collection of DVDs, Videos and CDS. At the point we were finishing off our new home we decided that we didnt need all of these out on display and put some in boxes in the cupboard. We recently agreed that as DD no longer needed highcahir and now ive given up childminding we did have space for one more unit to put some dvds and cds in so DH went to get one.
Instead of coming home with just the unit he also got 2 stand alone wire rack holders, These things are dark wood not silver and glass like the others and are also alot shorter than the other units meaning they look utterly ridiculous!!!
I have come down this morning to find he has moved all the furniture about and the house looks a tip and is actually dangerous for the kids because we have wires everywhere becasue he has moved a stereo and its not near a plug, units now overlap the corners of the walls intruding on walkway space and i can see i will be tripping and stibbing toes etc.
Im furious. How can i take proide in y home when it looks so shit? I lived with the house being a tip before we had the work done and it now looks like DH wants to go back to the overcrowded cluttered non spacial room.
I fear this may mean divorce BUT would you be unhappy about it?>

OP posts:
LLD · 26/02/2008 08:40

I would be unhappy that the way our home was organised wasn't mutually discussed and agreed to suit the whole family!

bonkerz · 26/02/2008 08:42

ive jsut said that to him, These new racks he has bought are so unattractive and very wobbly so one knock and all 65 dvds will be over the floor and with a 2 year old i know that will happen alot.

OP posts:
beaniesteve · 26/02/2008 08:51

I find the whole idea that books, DVDs and CDs should be hidden a bit weird. A home is a home not a show home.

When you share a space with other people you have to compromise, so couldn't you just explain to him that you think his choice of storage is dangerous and suggest going out together to look at alternatives? Or do you actually just want all his 'clutter' out of sight?

Rachmumoftwo · 26/02/2008 08:58

I would be annoyed, but would probably sort it out when he was out. If he's anything like my DH he probably wouldn't even notice! It's not worth falling out over, blokes just don't realise how much these things matter.

bonkerz · 26/02/2008 09:01

he has been ranting and screaming for the last 20 minutes now. I would rather find room for another glass and silver unit that would be safe for the kids and have told him that. He is now dismantling the racks and moaning about how much he hates me......I dont care cos im now off to ikea!

OP posts:
beaniesteve · 26/02/2008 15:00

perhaps he feels like you are not allowing him to stamp his personality on your shared living space?

Rachmumoftwo · 26/02/2008 15:01

Are you OK? This sounds like it is about more than a few CD/DVD racks.

Janni · 26/02/2008 15:01

unreasonable no, unrealistic yes

nametaken · 26/02/2008 16:06

YANBU - never let a man go out alone and buy furniture for your house.

They will only buy something they like. Whether it fits, is safe, looks nice, works with existing decor etc etc will never even enter their heads.

Get rid of it and start again.

Flum · 26/02/2008 16:25

Poor you. I would be shocked if my DH did it, and peed off as I quite like being able to choose how everything is. DH treats our house like a very homely hotel it would never cross his mind to buy furniture, move furniture or tidy up. it is all done by me or at my request.

bonkerz · 26/02/2008 18:13

thanks guys and rachmumoftwo....your right it is about more than a few dvds ,things have been quite tricky for a while now and i think we are brewing for another big blowout.
After posting i went downstairs to find DH putting together the new unit. He had placed all the other furniture back more or less where it was and has banished the horrid racks to the cupboard where they will remain!! He did come over and apologise for being so nasty and shouting which for DH is something that happens very rarely.
Im not hose proud BUT i do love the way my home looks right now (especially with a few more additions courtesy of IKEA today!)

OP posts:
hotbot · 26/02/2008 19:01

bonkerz, yes yabu, you should have seethed internally and then let kiddiwincks destroy cds etc, then you wouldn't need any units at all
hellloooo spacious room again

Nessamommy · 26/02/2008 19:10

It's important to know that clutter and mess do cause added stress. Maybe you should explain this to your husband.

Othersideofthechannel · 26/02/2008 19:25

Is there research to prove that Nessamommy? I always thought that our cluttered surfaces got to me more when stressed (rather than added to it ifyswim)

I wouldn't classify DVDs and CDs in some kind of storage whether visible or not as clutter though.

casbie · 26/02/2008 19:28

a clean and tidy home is the figment of the imagination of all the 'grand designs' ilk...

a dirty home is where children's immune systems work!!

lol!

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