Long post - thank you to anyone who reads it all!
Background - I am an anxious person who overthinks, worries and ruminates on so many things. Sometimes when I share my worries with others even my DP, they look at me as though I'm mad.
We have been trying to move for more space for over 2 years on and off. Our current 3 bed semi feels to small to be comfortable for the next decade as our kids become teens / young adults and we aren't able to extend to make the house as we want it duo to plot size. We are wanting to move to a bigger 4 bed. Various hitches and setbacks along the way, all related to the housing market or my uncertainty about houses we viewed. We own our home outright, having recently cleared the last of the mortgage of £180,000 that we took out 10 years ago. I've worked part time for the past 10 years since having my eldest. We now have 2 kids, both primary age. I now earn more FTE and work more hours than I have ever done in the past 10 years. My partner earns over £60k pa gross working full time and gets a work car. Our total net after tax is monthly income is £5447. We are both mid 40s. We have no other debts beyond a mortgage (we clear our credit card balance each and only use it to accure cashback). Neither of us expect a promotion in the next few years and we generally get modest annual pay rises and no bonuses. We both have private life insurance, partner gets death in service cover through his work, good sick pay, own job ill health retirement cover and has a good pension he can access at age 60. I have 5 years of critical illness cover beyond the occupational sick pay term in my job and an occupational pension (and a couple of other pensions from previous jobs, all defined contribution schemes so nothing amazing.) I run my own car which is 11 years old.
We have had an offer accepted on a great property at the upper end of our comfortable range at £610k. To make the monthly payment affordable we've applied for a 35 year mortgage on a 5 year fix initially. Total amount we're borrowing is £260k. (We would plan to pay it off sooner as we did with the last mortgage we had which was initially a 25 year term but which we paid off in 10 years.) We will be keeping £30k back in savings a s an emergency fund but will need to dip into this if my car dies soon (amount ?) and also for a few furniture items for the new house - no more than about £3-4k.
I am an anxious person by nature and am more risk averse than most. I grew up in a family that struggled with money and parents who worried about it a lot and refused to have any debt beyond a mortgage. I am riddled with anxiety about this move on so many levels.
- we are buying at the top of the market it seems as house price falls are predicted and while these don't hit all areas and houses the same way, I can't help but worry.
- we are fixing for 5 years for certainty but at a high rate (5.39%)
- we are potentially entering time when kids get more expensive (secondary school / teens) re: food, clothing, general expenses, even if childcare is not such a major expense anymore. There are secondary school buses, uniform, trips etc to plan and pay for and just the general stuff that teens want I guess plus birthdays and Christmas.
- we are not extravagant in terms of the latest brands / tech etc
- we do like 1-2 holidays abroad each year (nothing fancy, approx £3k a week) and a couple of UK weekends / short breaks which maybe cost another £1k total.
- our 2 kids do a lot of extracurricular activities atm - approx £75 worth a month each, with related costs for some of these as and when the need arises - e.g. a new bike / gum shield / kit depending on the sport.
- partner and I don't socialise loads and aren't big drinkers. We have maybe 1 night out a month each (meal with friends) and 1 date night out (meal, drinks, cinema) about once every 6-8 weeks. As a family we tend to have meals out on birthdays or once every school holiday.
- I have a cheap gym membership at £25 a month and partner does his own training so only really spends on kit and occasional race fees.
- Mainly food shop at Aldi / Lidl with the odd treat smaller shop from M&S or Sainsburys now and then.
We have budgeted and have factored in higher energy and insurance costs for the new, larger house. The house needs no immediate work as is in a great state at the moment and has been renovated by the vendors over the past few years.
We have a budget as follow for the new house:
Mortgage £1650 per month
Outgoings (non-mortgage) per month
energy 250
home insurance 40
water 100
life insurance 50
council tax 203
car tax 12.5
mot / service 15
car insurance 25
tv licence 13.25
sky tv / braod band 62
mobile phone 26
amazon 8
car petrol 150
childcare 100
school lunches 26
boiler service 6.25
(Childcre includes after school care in term time and school holiday clubs averaged across 12 months)
Leisure spend per month for all 4 of us:
football 30
rugby 12
gymnastics 47.5
swimming 28
karate 23
cricket 10
gym 25
Groceries / household goods spend per month: £1000
The total leftover after all outgoings above is £1451.5 per month / £17418 per year and have allocated this as follows for now (I think we can reduce holidays and move more to clothes / shoes / haircuts and savings)
holiday 7500
christmas 2000
birthdays 1500
day trip 2000
savings 1418
meals / take aways 2000
clothes, shoes, haircuts etc 1000
DP feels if we don't move now we never will as I always find fault with potential houses and getting a mortgage will only get harder as we get older. My age at my next birthday already means not all lenders will lend us the amount we need over more than 25 years but we are lucky to have found one high street lender who will, hence our current deal.
Does this all sound reasonable ? Am I being ridiculous in being so anxious about it all? Sleepless nights and feeling sick etc. I think part of it is the whole way house buying goes and feeling we're paying too much / moving at a bad time. And part of it is my general anxiety. Help!