To think I’ve been put in bad situation?

[Amiinthewrongg]

I started a new job few months ago, I was offered permanent instead of my “work friend” that has been there a while. Manager told me to keep it a secret but I just can’t I hate carrying secrets.

Now everyone is being off with me even my 1 only friend at work 😭

What is it you're asking exactly?

They shouldn't have put you in that situation. As manager, they should communicate with the team members properly.

what did they expect you to do if the topic came up about not being perm? Sit there and ramble some lies!
It was bound to come up!

Sorry I don’t understand, surely that can’t be kept a secret as it’ll be clear you are perm staff when your temp/contract would be up? But yes lack of transparency and refusing to be direct about role changes is a sign of a badly managed workplace.

@Mangotango39 exactly!

I feel awful now

Did they tell you to keep it quiet until they'd briefed the relevant staff?
In that case you should keep quiet.
Shame about your work friend but that's life.
It'll blow over

No they would have never have told her.

Wish I would would have never accepted it now!

Did they ask you to keep it to yourself until they had time to tell your colleagues? If so, and you told people anyway, then if I was your manager, I’d be extremely disappointed in you for being so unprofessional.

No manager just said don’t tell “k” about it.

Did you tell others and it got back to “K”? Again, that shows poor judgement. Sometimes you can’t tell all affected staff something at the same time. These things are often carefully thought through.
If I missed something, and you didn’t say anything, then it’s not your fault and should have been better handled by your manager.

No I just told her I’ve kept it a secret for weeks and I have obviously built a friendship with her and I just felt awful like I wasn’t being transparent with her.

No they would have never have told her.

Well, I think she'd have noticed when her contract ended and yours didn't?!

So if you didn't tell, how come everyone knows and is being off with you?

Permanent jobs go to those who are best suited, not who has been there the longest, so I'm assuming they gave it to you because you're better at it than your friend?

They probably just asked you to keep it quiet as they didn't want any bitching, because some people might think they're entitled to a job just because they've been there longer...

FWIW, I worked doing manual labour in a factory one summer holiday with lots of temps. The company needed to make savings so got rid of 15 out of the 20 temps. I was one of the 5 who kept my job. I also happened to be best friends and with the plant managers daughter, but that's not why I kept my job. They gave me the job because I was actually very good at it, and got on with it without whinging. But believe me people didn't see it that way!

We were both on the bank nhs so it is on going.

Wish I just never took it now

So you’d rather give up a permanent position just so people would like you?

As nicely as possible that’s bananas. I can guarantee nobody would turn down the position to spare your feelings OP.

Seriously you need to own this and just get on with your job and make other work friends. She’s had her nose put out of joint but she’ll get over it. Just explain the position and say you’ve enjoyed working with her. If she decides she no longer wants to be friends then let her go

The nhs is constantly changing staff.

I know but it’s just crap that was really my only “work friend” I don’t talk to anyone else otherwise.

I feel like just handing my notice in.

It would have been easier for me to lie to her but that isn’t me.

Look this is t your fault. It wasn't your decision. It will blow over.

Do not resign. Keep working.

Isn't your fault

To be honest this is why I don't make friends at work. I'm friendly and cordial with everyone but they stop existing to me as soon as I walk out the door at the end of the day. I'm there to do a job and it's much easier to do without all the drama that so often comes along with it if everyone's friends with everyone else.

Well then clearly she isn't that much of a friend to you because she would be pleased for you if she was and understand the position you were put in. I am unsure why you did decide to tell her if you gave kept it secret for a while now.

Ah the old complexities of the workplace. Toxic

I won’t bother making friends from work again 🤣