Cat not wanting to be in

[lissyt]

Hi all, I have 2 Tom cats, 2.5 years and nearly 2 years. The 2.5 tom is fantastic; loving, affectionate, doesn't go out much and eats ok. The nearly 2 year old is completely different. He was lovely as a kitten, very playful and clever although not particularly loving. For over a year now, he only come into the house sometime overnight, to wait for me to get up and give him his breakfast. He eats a big bowl of food and acts like he wants more so I give him more, plus a couple of snacks. Once finished, he goes straight back out. I have tried to get him to stay in by fussing him and talking to him but he still goes back out. He will come in if the weather is severe but never seems happy and won't purr unless he's waiting for his food. He has been to the vet who could not find anything physically wrong with him. Both are neutered and no issue with getting along with each other. He also has a habit of bringing in dead birds during the night fairly regularly that is annoying despite my efforts. I don't see the point of having this cat and struggle to connect with him. My friend says I'm being unreasonable and that some cats are like this. However, I can only work part time due to disability and am almost living hand to mouth now with the increases in everything. I have talked about re-homing him but my friend makes me feel incredibly guilty for it and says I'm not a nice person for it. I am a nice person I think usually. Does anyone have any advice, preferably without casting judgement please.

Cat's are just like anything else, they have their own personalities and you're not going to change that.
I don't like that people will easily give up a pet because they're not conforming to your wants - but also don't think he deserves to be in an environment where you resent him living his best life.

I would say, that you can do home to home adoptions, which is far kinder than just putting him in a shelter.

Hopefully there is someone out there happy with an independent cat and doesn't need them to be overly affectionate.

Some cats are like this i had a tortie that as soon as she was in wanted out, she never went hungry but as soon as the bowl was empty she would be howling at the door to go out again and sometimes dissapeared for days at a time , sadly rescues are at their limits at the moment so even if you try to rehome him there will be a massive waiting list, maybe just accept that hes one of those cats who are very independant and love him for who he is not the cat you want him to be , hes also young so the outdoors is a big adventure to him, if you can possibly keep him at night this will cut down on him bringing in dead birds as bird nests are easyier to raid at night as the birds are in their nests

sorry missed that you are feeding him extra food at breakfast give him one pouch and no more for breakfast that way he will get hungry in the afternoon and will come home earlier then keep him in he will adapt to a new routine as hes young

Our local cat shelter will sometimes advertise cats so they don't have to go in a shelter (which it sounds like he would hate) - and rehome to someone directly who would like a more independent cat. It's worth asking.