To feel like a complete failure as I cant afford a holiday?

[mrsfindlay]

I feel awful that I've never taken DD abroad on holiday. Every summer we usually go to a festival and/or a weekend away with my mum and sister. I just can't afford it this year. It's pay day on Tuesday and I'm on my last few pounds. I can barely get through the month and I spend every day constantly worrying about what I need to budget for next (school uniform, DD needs a new bed, her birthday at the end of summer) I just don't know how people do it all? DD's mentioned to me that most of her friends are all flying off to their holidays tomorrow / next week. I know she would love to go away somewhere and it makes me feel like such a failure that I can't do that. I know that being a single parent doesn't help! I feel sad that her summer is probably going to be boring (she's not very sociable and has only recently secured a group of friends after struggling a bit at school, so far she has no plans to meet up with any of them) I have booked a few days off, but with next to no money it's going to be tough! Sorry for the long moan, I know people have it worse!

its so stressful when things are tight financially. Sounds like you are providing for all her need though, so please don’t beat yourself up because you can’t afford some big flashy abroad holiday.

Actually I think what children desire most is connection and time. So if you make space over summer to do things that give her attention and connection with you then she’ll have a fab summer. It doesn’t have to be expensive stuff. Having a friend over for a movie night, baking a cake together and decorating it in silly colours, stuff like that is what kids get value from really.

I didn’t go on holiday much as a child and certainly not abroad. Yet I loved summer holidays as I had my cousin come to stay and we cycled and hang out and also me and my mum went on loads of walks always with cheese and a banquette as a snack. I loved it.

It’s not ideal and I understand why you feel sad, but don’t think you can have a lovely summer doing things that are cheap/free.

How old is she? Please don't beat yourself up trying to keep up with the Joneses.

We could never afford to take our family overseas until my DD was 17, and youngest 13. We only ever had the one holiday abroad. Instead we camped or stayed at cottages, and have good memories.

I know it is late in the season, but are there any camps that she could sign up for that cater to lower income households? Often organizations will have spots reserved for a certain amount. That way you could send her off on an adventure while staying home to work. You could stretch and ask your family for some advance birthday money for her to fund any travel.

Further to above, Outward Bound has financial support for courses if you meet the criteria of free school lunches and low income. There must be lots of similar, you just need to do some digging on the net.

My kids are 12,9 and 5 and never even been on a plane or abroad. I can’t afford to take them but I actually have family who are very well off and didn’t take their kids abroad until they were 15/16 because they prefer to do outdoor holidays in the uk so I don’t think you need to feel bad if you can’t afford it.

Take her out of school for a holiday. Not abroad but Haven have some Monday to Friday stays in September for £95. Then she can at least tell friends she’s been on holiday. If you can’t or don’t want to do that I find mine actually do just want time

Go to the park and keep your phone in your pocket and actually play together. Take a picnic if the weathers good.

bake

draw/do art together. My kids love it when instead of observing/facilitating I’m actually doing it too.

film night where you make popcorn and she chooses the film. Perhaps invite school friends over to watch it too.

board game day if it’s wet

free council/charity run events.

cheaper paid for activities like soft play, swimming, the bus to the beach depending on where you live

in my experience festivals aren’t cheap. Could you do a long weekend abroad next year instead of a festival?

it is rubbish to not have the money. I totally get that but honestly a foreign holiday isn’t the be all and end all and the time you spend with her doing nice things will be worth more than a million holidays

My youngest is 16yo and we've never been abroad on holiday.

She's never been abroad so she's nothing to miss. And my dad said it's pointless taking kids away til they are in their teens cos they just forget it!

Used to take my son to Wales. but tbh, they're little. Day in the park or a day playing board games - kids love it.

Give their ages and you'll get more suggestions.

How rotten for you, sounds like you love to do nice things for your DD. Hope you’ll be able to afford something next year. I actually think travel is overrated but it’s definitely nice to break the routine. How old is your DD?

Have some adventures here. Don’t let it get you down. My kids remember the little stuff we did more than the big stuff!

we’ve never been able to take our kids abroad. We usually holiday in the UK but this year and last we just haven’t been able to afford it. It’s truly rubbish and I know how you feel. Even going to the beach, as it’s a fair distance, turns into an expensive day. You’re not alone, there are far more people like us at the moment as purse strings are tightening by the day. Please don’t feel guilty, I know I should practice what I preach, make memories in your own way x