To ask for opinions on my options please?

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Sorry, not particularly interesting but I’m dithering horribly and DH is firing back the most unhelpful ‘do what makes you happy’ comments and DF just wants bragging rights to a Dr in the family so I’m gonna ask for your opinion…
just completed a BA, did exceptionally well, every piece I submitted was at the higher end of ‘outstanding’ and I got a high first. This is after years of underachieving and drifting from job to job just to get by. So obviously I’m pretty chuffed with myself for working so hard and seeing it through. As soon as I got my grades I embarked on a mission to apply for every postgraduate course and job I could and am now left with three major options going forward (all local, excellent childcare set up already so logistics are inconsequential)

1. accept offer at the top university in the country in my field which will be a great experience and hugely enjoyable, likely to lead into great things for my career, but this will mean struggling on very little money for 3 years. We’ll have essentials but struggle to have holidays or finish renovating our house for example.
2. accept offer at much less esteemed university who have offered scholarship and bursary and therefore do the Postgrad essentially for free and have a doctoral loan to contribute to the household budget.
3. accept local job offer which is salaried about twice anything I’ve ever earned before which will make our lives financially very comfortable, but being full-time I would need to complete the online/part-time version of my post- grad. This job is also only very tenuously linked to my qualification and more to my previous professional experience which I’m not passionate about. The money is the only benefit here.

what would you do in my shoes? I’m just sitting in front of my computer screen reading emails over and over without replying because I really can’t make a choice.

How much difference would it make if your PhD was from the less esteemed uni? Is your DH ok with holding the financially load if you do option one?
I wouldn't do 3 personally.

Wow congratulations OP! What a success story. They’re all great options. Have you got three more years studying left in you? Then maybe option 1, but other than that, I’d be inclined to take option three but keep looking for a job which better utilises your new qualification and passion.

They’re all great options!

🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

I'd go for the middle option. So you're still continuing with your studies and improving your future prospects, but not struggling to get by for 3 years (I personally couldn't stand this and would worry about potential resentment from the family).
I'd forget option 3, the job, as it's the least likely to fulfil you long term.

Congrats on your achievements this far!

I’d go for option one as it has great prospects and you describe it as being enjoyable. Given that work takes up such large part of our lives, doing something that you would find rewarding and enjoyable would outweigh any of the negatives.

Probably 2. It seems the most balanced approach. In the long run, in my experience, it doesn't matter what university you went to in the end. Job experience becomes more relevant to future job prospects.

I would go for option 2. Option 1 sounds great, but that would be a lot of pressure on you, which would make it difficult to complete.

Option 2 seems to.cover all bases

It depends what you want to do with your PhD after. Do you want to go into academia? What field is the PhD in? I would prob go for the middle option. Either the first or second option will prob provide the opportunity to do some associate lecture work while you go so that will help top you up.

I think you should rule out the third option for the time being. If you want to continue your education now is the time to do it. Once you have worked in a job with a good salary it will feel very difficult to step into a PhD and loose all that income.

Congratulations on being really brilliant and having three amazing options to pick from!

What exactly would be the financial implications of option one? Long term it could end up being the most lucrative option in that the prestige could open higher paid roles for you later. Where I come from people take low cost loans from credit unions to cover things like this- is that an option?

DH is very supportive and doesn’t mind being the main breadwinner. He was happy for me to be a SAHM for these years, but I was going nuts with boredom so I signed up for Uni and here we are! He’s a bit too laid back though and probably isnt thinking about the implications of limping through on his salary for another few years. I’ve done the maths and can see how tight it’ll be. DS is getting to the age where he’ll want to socialise more and do more sports and clubs and I just see that as being another big cost each month.
DF is getting old and daft and wants to donate some money to the cause, I don’t want to allow this though, because I believe he needs that money. He’s another one who seems to trust the universe a bit too much and not consider that he might get poorly or some other crisis happen which requires some savings and security.

I would do 2, ime prestige of the university matters less at doctorate level than undergraduate.

It’ll be really tight on the family budget. No wiggle room at all. It feels risky in that if a crisis pops up we’ll have to go cap in hand to elderly father or get into debt. So option one is quite selfish and risky in my opinion. Obviously in the future it could mean we are better off but for now it’s going to be struggle.

That’s a good point. It’s about the quality of your own research isn’t it? Meaning that the only real benefit of top Uni is networking and the likely job offers in academia from that institution.

Is it possible to ask University 1 if they can match what university 2 is offering? Just a thought.

I would choose option 1 or 2, for sure. And it sounds like you have supportive family - I would take the help and support.

Oh, and well done! What an achievement!

What kind of PhD are you pursuing? Lab-based, humanities...?

Well done. I would go for option 2

@Runningonjammiedodgers thank you! I think I wanted people to eliminate the third option. Deep down I would be gutted to do it and I know I’d be tired and miserable and less fun for DS too. The money is tempting when I look at the household finances ( or lack of) but at the same time, life is short and my DS has a disability which I think could cause him to lack confidence like I did when I was young. I feel like my choices could have an effect on his outlook too. I want to be really successful for him.

I would go for option 1 and network like hell.

Go for option 1. Why? 1 In academic circles prestige matters. (People pretend it doesn't, but it does). 2. You are investing in your future. You count, you matter and that is an investment worth making. You deserve the best. 3. No man would ask the question would they? 4. Prestige universities have funds to help and they will try to do so. Tell your story because you are the kind of person the funds are there to support. Go for it!

@YellowJoggers
It’s to do with architecture and the environment. Written and practical, my proposal was really well received.

Don't do 3, it sounds soul-destroying.

Is the institution in option 2 generally less prestigious or less so for your department?

Can 1 offer any kind of financial assistance?

From how you've written them it's obv option 1 where you can see your excitement bubbling through. Missing a few holidays is nothing for the chance to do your dream job. Go for it and good luck 😊

@TreesWelliesKnees thank you! I had considered that but didn’t know if it was the ‘done thing’ or if I’d look cheeky? I’m new to the culture of higher education and academia and I still feel a bit inept when dealing with them.

I would talk to 1 about funding possibilities- the worst they can say is no. Even if the can't quite match 2.

Don't do 3!!!