To have finished before we even started

[butamibu]

I've just finished an early relationship.
We dated for a couple of months , got on great, slept together etc .
He had only recently broken up with his partner of 18 months for many reasons but essentially they were incompatible.
We took things nice and easy . He was very definitely finished and says he still is.
However she is in a lot of contact, looking for reasons to meet, collect stuff, admin jobs to be done etc etc.
He feels awful and relents to all of this. She became verbally abusive so he blocked her .
I understand her pain.
She has now started using another phone to contact him asking him to collect stuff and do jobs . She is back begging and pleading etc.
I'm sick of this now and want no part of whatever stupid game he is playing with her so I've told him that the only acceptable communication with her is none. I also mistakenly said that I wanted a halt out to us until such time as this nonsense finishes .
He has text back to say he won't contact me so until all contact finishes!!!
Tells me all I need to know doesn't it ?

You’ve done the right thing. He is obviously still hung up on her to be at her beck and call.

You've dodged a bullet! I think this is for the best.

Wow, so he chose No communication with his current gf rather than cease communication with his x.

You were right to force this info out of him because NOW YOU KNOW

Well done! Good for you , you've put your foot down! Never regret that! I got sucked into a very similar situation. Went. On. For. Years. They were toxic for each other but couldn't just let it go...Meanwhile, back at the ranch, here's me, putting up with all the drama.

I mean really..... ,so, so naive and stupid...

Yes@N0ëlle and it feels shit.
My exact words were .. either you finish this unnecessary comms or we need to put a halt to us until you are. He then said he'd contact me once he was finished communication with her !!
He feels awful about what he did blah blah
Now I know he is literal but Jesus Christ , how insulting .
Prick .

And the irony is that he finished it originally because she wouldn't stop contact with her exes and meeting them!!
Honest to God.... his kids told him they felt pushed out by her.
She gave him an sti and was very honest about her love of sleeping with married men. It looks like she gave him and sti through the relationship which suggests she was also sleeping with others .
I am
Clearly doing something very wrong or am sub standard here!!

She Loved to make him jealous at every social opportunity ... YET.... he chose to keep contact with her instead of developing something with me.
Christ it stings !!!

He hasn't read or replied to my message yet which basically said that his answer tells me everything I need to know ...
I wonder what he'll come back with and what to respond?
I'm guessing that he's worried about her mental health which is delicate at best and feels awful for dumping her .

Thoughts on that please ?

OP..... I'm sorry you are going through sh.... You did the right thing imho. Maybe they are slightly addicted to the drama the relationship brings??? I think you dodged a very large bullet. Know it's stinging like**just now but you will find someone who deserves you x