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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Confrontational neighbours

14 replies

Donkey14 · 20/07/2023 14:52

I have a history with my neighbours.
I find them totally awful, play loud music in gardens, blocked my parking on my drive, loud kids especially in the morning when husband asleep after late shift, smoke from barbarcue, bin burning and smoke from woodburner.

However we have left them to just get on with it, moaning to ourselves but not doing anything as thats just life.

A few months ago I had a bit of a confrontation with the female neighbour over the wood burner. She was quite aggressive and walked away from me.

Last night I am watching telly at 9.45 and I get a knock on the door.

She is standing there in her pyjamas. Straight away she starts "that noise is ridiculous"
I say "what noise", thinking its someone at the back of us.
She replies "your child, screeching and shouting".
Apparently they are all in bed, kids and adults and hes stopping them from sleeping. Their windows are open, infact she states for some reason , that the male is at the window watching.

I look up and can see my sons window is open. I assume he is still playing on games even though I told him to come off an hour ago.
I say I will talk to him and stop it, but as she walks away I say "there was no need for the aggression"
She says "what aggression"
I say that she could have just asked me to keep the noise down, instead of speaking to me like she did.
I say I will sort and shut the door .

I tell my son off as he is obviously wrong to keep going when I told him to come off , especially when his window is open.
I usually try to keep them a bit quieter after 9 as I try to be considerate.

Where should I go from here?
Im not prepared to be told what I should do in my own house, especially at 9.45, but I do feel we were in the wrong for the noise.
She was so confrontational and didnt like that both times shes been round, I have stood up for myself.

OP posts:
Iwantmyoldnameback · 20/07/2023 14:55

Cheeky cow.

ApolloandDaphne · 20/07/2023 15:00

Tit for tat really. If you can confront her over behaviour you believe to be unreasonable then she can confront you too.

Donkey14 · 20/07/2023 15:15

@ApolloandDaphne
What "tit for tat"
I have never confronted her over their behaviour but she has to me , twice now

The only thing I have said is there was no need to be so aggressive when she "confronted me". So defending myself

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 20/07/2023 15:18

You said you confronted her over her wood burner. Did I read that wrong?

Donkey14 · 20/07/2023 15:26

@ApolloandDaphne It wasnt that I confronted her, she came to tell me off for having abird feeder out and I said I would get rid of it and I mentioned to her about the smoke and it escalated to her shouting at me, that they would continue as doing nothing wrong, and walking away. So I suppose you are right.

I have only been round to theirs once, and that was when they started doing DIY at 8am on a Sunday, but that was to him and hes much more reasonable.

My point in the post was that she came straight at me this time, no niceness just anger and confrontation. As I said I admit some wrong on our part, but there was no need for the way she spoke to me.

OP posts:
Tabitha005 · 20/07/2023 15:28

What was her beef with a bird feeder?!

Donkey14 · 20/07/2023 15:31

@Tabitha005
It goes back a few years. They had chickens in the garden, but apparently my bird feeder was causing rats. I got rid of it for easy life.
I was bought one at Christmas and waited til March to put it out. Apparently I caused the dead rat found in their neighbours garden in Jan so 2 months before I put mine out. I couldnt be bothered to fight so got rid of it.

OP posts:
doitwithlove · 20/07/2023 15:41

Just for info - Plenty of food and a comfortable place to eat it is what attracts rats NOT a bird feeder.

Clearly your neighbour does not have social skills.

Tabitha005 · 20/07/2023 16:04

@Donkey14 your neighbour sounds like hard work!

ForeverFriendsAndPierrot · 20/07/2023 17:06

That's life

People are people. That didn't sound aggressive.

BiscuitsandPuffin · 20/07/2023 17:10

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Stop telling her what to do in her own home and garden and she'll stop telling you what to do in your own home and garden, but you've got her back up so it might take a while now.

You can't control your neighbours.

Mama678 · 20/07/2023 17:11

You’re allowed to make reasonable noise up to 11pm and after 6am. Maybe keep a log of these incidents if any others happen

Donkey14 · 20/07/2023 17:46

@BiscuitsandPuffin
I havent told her what to do.
I mentioned to her that we were having an issue with the black smoke coming from their wood burner. As far as I am aware this is illegal.
Its awful when you cant open your windows or go in your garden.

Not looking to control just want to live my normally quiet life without agression.

OP posts:
Donkey14 · 20/07/2023 17:47

@ForeverFriendsAndPierrot
Maybe you had to be there.
I opened the door to her.
No hello or anything just launched into "that noise is ridiculous" with raised voice.

OP posts:
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