Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why is the answer always antidepressants????

54 replies

Feelingcrazy123 · 20/07/2023 08:29

So I got referred to the mental health for an assessment - after a brief chat it came down to “cycles of depression”.

after 9 month wait I start CBT - doing daily diary, thoughts logs, feelings logs, gratitude logs etc etc etc.

I’ve had CBT and counselling a number of times over the past 10 years or so for sexual abuse, bereavement, depression and anxiety. I’ve even paid for private counselling.

im currently 28 weeks pregnant and having very intrusive thoughts and visions of my 3YO son getting very hurt. They are very graphic and very upsetting. Anxiety is through the roof but working through that and my mood is very much a massive rollercoaster. I’ve been referred to perinatal mental health team - they’ve refused me as “I don’t meet their criteria”.

my mood is all over the place - this has been like this for years so not due to pregnancy. I’m so up and down and very happy and very sad.

I just don’t know what is wrong with me and no one seems to want to explore it apart from talking therapies and medication.

I get that antidepressants will help but they won’t solve what ever is that matter with me. They won’t fix the problem only the symptoms. I don’t want to mask my issues I want to sort them out

AIBU to per-sue this and keep trying to get someone somewhere to help me figure this out.

YABU - go back on antidepressants and give up trying to figure it all out

OP posts:
LadyOutside · 20/07/2023 08:46

You can go on medication to help with the symptoms whilst also having therapy to deal with the root causes. Why do you think going on antidepressants means giving up?

Nagado · 20/07/2023 08:48

No, you’re definitely not being unreasonable. I’m a big fan of medication but it’s not the answer for everyone and if your depression is caused by trauma rather than a chemical imbalance, it can simply be a band aid over the real causes. Unfortunately I think that there often isn’t the capacity to treat the root causes and it’s easier and cheaper to rely on medication to stop patients from deteriorating any further.

Is CBT suitable for you? If you have the means to pay, might it be worth having an appointment with someone a bit more qualified than a cbt practitioner or counsellor? Just to point you in the right direction?

Other than that, keep talking to your midwife and your GP about your intrusive thoughts so they can monitor your health and make sure you aren’t deteriorating 💐

OceanicBoundlessness · 20/07/2023 09:08

There was an interesting episode of BBC's panorama on antidepressants recently. It was a real eye opener.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 20/07/2023 09:11

You say you have already had CBT and counselling.

ADs are what’s left. They do work though, don’t dismiss them.

You are also pregnant, so I suppose that limits the medical options as well.

Pregnancy can be tough, and it seems yours even more so. You might have had the symptoms for years but the sea of hormones you’re currently swimming in does not help.

Hope you can find some more help. Keep asking your midwife and GP.

lookingforMolly · 20/07/2023 09:15

Because anti depressants work on the chemicals in your brain

ElFupacabra · 20/07/2023 09:19

They’re the easy answer imo. Cheapest compared to properly funding psychologists, counsellors etc. CBT doesn’t work for everyone and it can take a while to take the right form of therapy / counselling but the NHS will dismiss this, if you’ve had CBT you should be fixed according to them.

There are a lot of things that can present as depression / anxiety and once your on AD drs seemingly wash their hands of you. I was on them for a while, no follow ups, check ins, reviews etc. Actually, I didn’t have depression or anxiety I had ranging ADHD and now properly assessed and medicated I’m a different person.

My dad experienced similar. On ADs for years doing little, no check ins or updates from the doctor to asses his mood / requirements. He stopped taking them accidentally when my mum was in hospital and my god the difference in him was night and day, he’s so much more lively, happy, bouncy not on the ADs it’s like my old dad is back. Doctor still hasn’t rang to enquire why he hasn’t had his prescription refilled.

I know there needs to be some accountability for our own health, but when it comes to MH issues we’re not the best people to be self regulating and self aware enough to think “maybe I should book a check in with the doctor”.

Original poster
Feelingcrazy123 · 21/07/2023 09:25

So I’m back on the medication which can be a risk to baby.

the doctor didn’t want to know about my history and wouldn’t listen to me when I tried explaining that I’ve had talking therapy for year for a large amount of different things.

they said it’s made worse by pregnancy but I’ve been like this for a long time. it’s like no one will actually listen to what I’m saying to them. Im at a dead end and feel like I’m going crazy

OP posts:
floatycloud11 · 21/07/2023 10:37

It sounds like perinatal OCD. You definitely need effective therapy, how frustrating for you. Medication can help but won't fix the root cause. I would go back to your perinatal team and insist that you are at breaking point!

floatycloud11 · 21/07/2023 10:38

You are not going crazy - perinatal OCD/intrusive thoughts has hormonal triggers hence why it happens in the perinatal period. You need therapy to teach your brain how to react less and less over time. If you can find a specialist it's much more effective than bog standard CBT

Archeron · 21/07/2023 10:43

Anti depressants are cheap and easy, more so than paying for counselling and actually helping you to fix the problem. CBT is only useful for mild cases where people feel a bit stressed and their mind is running away from them, so they need a bit of common sense perspective. It’s based on you realising that your problems are all in your head, ie you’re just catastrophising. It doesn’t address your past and can’t fix actual real problems. It sounds like you have actual issues in your past that you need to work through.

YarisKaris · 21/07/2023 10:50

What do you want to happen op? If counselling and talking therapies don't work I'm not sure what else they can offer.

calmcoco · 21/07/2023 10:51

If we had an unlimited supply of counsellors you would be offered one. If we could flick a switch to make modern life non-toxic we would do it.

But we only have ADs available.

That said, they do work for lots of people and they might help you. You need to try to make the correct decision for you, it might beefit you to take ADs whilst you also pursue counselling.

montecarlo7 · 21/07/2023 10:54

YANBU. I went on AD's for 2 years and then had several months of horrific withdrawal symptoms when I came off. I couldn't work for some of that time.

No-one talks about how hard it can be for some people to come off them.

Was it worth it? I'm not sure. All the AD's did was mask my problems.

MuckyPlucky · 21/07/2023 10:55

I’m sorry you’re struggling, it sounds horrible (and I’ve been there). However, I’m confused…you’ve had loads of CBT, counselling and offered the appropriate medications. These are all the NICE recommendations for depression & anxiety. What else are you saying you think would help?
My job involves assessing, triaging & treating people in your position. The interventions we offer are meds, CBT and counselling. There isn’t anything else, other than education around lifestyle factors & self-help. These things all work, they’re not a question of fobbing people off.

montecarlo7 · 21/07/2023 10:56

What about EMDR?

Babdoc · 21/07/2023 10:57

OP, you say that your mood has been wildly up and down for years. It’s possible you have bipolar disorder, in which case mood stabilisers and antidepressants are very much indicated.
If the cause is an imbalance of chemical neurotransmitters in your brain, then no amount of counselling or talking therapy will make any difference to it.
Obviously we on MN can’t diagnose you, but you need a proper psychiatric assessment and an agreed treatment plan.

beetbugglea · 21/07/2023 11:05

Op, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I am currently pregnant and have continued to take my antidepressant (Sertraline) at a low daily dose having spoken to my GP. Yes there are some risks with them but you need to weigh up those risk vs their benefit and if your mental health is that bad and you're having intrusive thoughts, that means taking ADs is the smaller risk overall. A good analogy for this is we take a risk every time we get into a car and actually driving presents a far greater risk to us yet we do it all the time. You already having an older child to look after and deserve to feel better and that you can cope. You don't need to remain on the ADs forever you can come off them when you are ready to do so. They are a coping mechanism for the short or medium term while you focus on getting well. I work in mental health and am a huge advocate for talking therapy, it is so worth the effort but it can take a long time to get to a place where you well enough. Don't put yourself under pressure to reach this point any faster than you can feasibly do so. Be kind to yourself.

MuckyPlucky · 21/07/2023 11:09

Think it’s unlikely to be Bipolar Affective disorder. Could possibly meet criteria for cyclothymia, but to me sounds more like emotional dysregulation as a result of c-ptsd. In which case, proper trauma-focussed CBT or some sessions of EMDR would be the best way forwards (not mood stabilisers, which are v heavy duty, some with risks, and not indicated for emotional sensitivity / c-ptsd.

OP- you say antidepressants are harmful to foetus but they really aren’t…SSRI’s (in particular Sertraline) are perfectly safe in pregnancy / breastfeeding. And work very well for anxiety, so they’d bring down the anxious distress which is what’s feeding the OCD type thoughts and intrusive thoughts.

Original poster
Feelingcrazy123 · 21/07/2023 11:12

I’ve accepted to go back on sertaline

i wish a professional would actually listen to me, I tried to explain my mood is erratic and in’s a consistent cycle. I’ve had a lot of trauma which I have worked through. They dismissed my mental health referral again saying it’s a cycle of depression and now they are putting it down to pregnancy but I know deep down there’s something else going on.

no amount of diary’s and gratitude logging is going to fix this. I just want to speak with someone who understands me. I don’t even understand me. How can I feel on top of the world one day where nothing can bring me down and the best want to run away and hide and not face another soul for days or weeks on end? Is this normal?

OP posts:
MuckyPlucky · 21/07/2023 11:13

I’d say that pregnancy would be an unwise time to start exploring trauma processing therapies. If you were my patient I’d advise try Sertraline to support you with reducing your anxiety through the pregnancy / post-partum. Then once you’re thought that, you should explore some trauma-processing therapy and/or psycho-educational group around emotional sensitivity / bpd / eupd type mood instability.

All the best with it all 💐

MuckyPlucky · 21/07/2023 11:18

Feelingcrazy123 · 21/07/2023 11:12

I’ve accepted to go back on sertaline

i wish a professional would actually listen to me, I tried to explain my mood is erratic and in’s a consistent cycle. I’ve had a lot of trauma which I have worked through. They dismissed my mental health referral again saying it’s a cycle of depression and now they are putting it down to pregnancy but I know deep down there’s something else going on.

no amount of diary’s and gratitude logging is going to fix this. I just want to speak with someone who understands me. I don’t even understand me. How can I feel on top of the world one day where nothing can bring me down and the best want to run away and hide and not face another soul for days or weeks on end? Is this normal?

I’m really sorry but I don’t understand what you feel you’re not getting? You are being taken seriously. You’re being offered the right things appropriate to your presentation and circumstances.
When you say you think there’s something wrong with you…Are you meaning you think you’ve got bipolar disorder? That’s v unlikely in my professional opinion, from what you describe. If your mood is consistently erratic, it’s more like emotional instability (which is really linked to past trauma) and responds really well to SSRI’s and then good trauma-informed therapy. See my post above about my advice around timelines for these things.

You say you want to be listened to by the professionals… I hope it’s reassuring to you that I am a senior MH professional and assess / treat this sort of thing daily, so I’m definitely listening to you and giving my input as a professional second opinion.

Beachwalker66 · 21/07/2023 11:21

I just don’t know what is wrong with me and no one seems to want to explore it apart from talking therapies and medication.

What aside from these options do you want to explore? There's the EMDR someone mentioned upthread, or Electro convulsive therapy (which seems an extreme option to me)

I am so sorry you feel so bad. Do you think maybe it's worth trying a different counsellor? Sometimes we just don't gel with someone quite right.

FlyInMySalad · 21/07/2023 11:24

OP, I mean this in the gentlest way possible, but I'm not sure what else you think there is. You're hinting at something, what do you think it the root cause of the problem?
I'm on ADs and I still get cycles of highs and lows. I've accepted that and just take everything I can from the highs and try to hug those when I'm down.

stargirl1701 · 21/07/2023 11:24

I hear you, OP.

It's now likely I will never come off ADs but the underlying reason for my symptoms is coping with a disabled child.

calmcoco · 21/07/2023 11:24

Feelingcrazy123 · 21/07/2023 11:12

I’ve accepted to go back on sertaline

i wish a professional would actually listen to me, I tried to explain my mood is erratic and in’s a consistent cycle. I’ve had a lot of trauma which I have worked through. They dismissed my mental health referral again saying it’s a cycle of depression and now they are putting it down to pregnancy but I know deep down there’s something else going on.

no amount of diary’s and gratitude logging is going to fix this. I just want to speak with someone who understands me. I don’t even understand me. How can I feel on top of the world one day where nothing can bring me down and the best want to run away and hide and not face another soul for days or weeks on end? Is this normal?

Do you mean you think it is a physical health issue causing the cycle?

But when you say How can I feel on top of the world one day where nothing can bring me down and the best want to run away and hide and not face another soul for days or weeks on end? Is this normal? this is very common in mental health problems, they are often cyclical in nature.